Re: Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	31-Mar-06/11:23 AM
Lovely. This reminded me of one of your poems... 'Sunlighting'. Somehow, poems like this get right to me. And the idea of it being about the eclipse.... fits in. About the title, I'm not sure which way it should go. Present one sounds okay. Or perhaps.... 'Moon's Affection'
Re: a comment on Because You Love Me by amanda_dcosta	31-Mar-06/11:07 AM
Thank you drnick for your critique. You might find it more comfortable this way.....but you will see the name of Jesus in most of my poems.... even the one coming next. I don't think my freedom of expression in poetry can be stopped by anything or anyone. It's just that it's in me! The name of Jesus! And P.S.. Santa did not die for me. Jesus did! All the same, thank you for looking this poem up. Hope you get to like my style.
Re: The Unforgiven II by alvinb	31-Mar-06/10:54 AM
Hmmm. It's written well, but I don't get it clearly in the 5th stanza. Seems to be contradictory lines.... she loves me not, she loves me still.
Re: A Country Anecdote by Dovina	31-Mar-06/10:36 AM
Beautiful.
Re: a comment on Because You Love Me by amanda_dcosta	31-Mar-06/10:20 AM
Alchemy, full marks to you and JK Tyres! You seemed to understand this perfectly well. As for the title, I don't think I aught to change it just because Celine Dion has a song by that title. Aren't there innumerable lovely girls by the name Amanda. That doesn't change the fact that my content is original. Although I could agree with Dovina that the title 'waking hours' might sound more apt, by way of relating to the poem, rather than it being a title of someone else's song. All the same, thanks all of you for the instant votes. I'm surprised that it's pretty quick.
Re: Time Thief by Dovina	30-Mar-06/12:55 PM
I think I liked your 'fishy' poem better. This seems a bit disconnected on the whole and I wasn't really impressed compared to quite a few writes of yours. Probably you aught ot edit it , although I don't know exactly how. I'm still not clear on what you had in mind while writing this.
Re: The Beautiful Lover by Caducus	30-Mar-06/12:48 PM
Cool!
Re: Because You Love Me by amanda_dcosta	30-Mar-06/12:46 PM
drnick and ecargo.... I hope you find this a good change. Enjoy!
Re: Mid-July by Ranger	30-Mar-06/12:27 PM
Wow! An enjoyable read!
Re: Old Friend by drnick	30-Mar-06/12:22 PM
Hmmm, not bad. It's got a sing song feel to it. And you've put it as free verse. OOps sorry. Looks like ecargo out did me in my comment. This is a common theme, but when well written, it's worth a read, and you've brought out something in it. Good work.
Re: A Fish is Always a Fish by Dovina	29-Mar-06/10:25 PM
I like the idea you portrayed about being sunk into utmost despair, into hell.... Surely there must be some way of getting out of it, of feigning your way through the fisherman's fingers once the hook is taken out. Many a fish has escaped this way.
Re: a comment on Time Will Change by x0lovelylarnx0	29-Mar-06/10:10 PM
In my opinion, the vote ratings aren't all that important. I don't think most members vote honestly due to territorial prejudices. It's the exchange of opinions and comments that's the biggest attraction and hit here on this site. If you're looking to make a stand on your poetic talent by way of votes, you might end up very disappointed. Nonetheless, don't be discouraged. Take part in the meaningless discussions; you might find something interesting to comment about.
Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta	29-Mar-06/9:58 PM
Yeah, shameless of you! How could you? ;-)
Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta	29-Mar-06/9:55 PM
Yeah, I'm not trying to draw anyone into my faith, it's just that I'm searching for more answers to ease my faith and make it more clearer, and there's no better way for me than to ask the Holy Spirit to help and guide me. I believe in being simple and relating to the simple, and hence you will find most of my work absolutely and down to earth simple. ecargo, you might find my poem 'Through the channel' a bit interesting, as it gives a bit of being spiritual without the mention of 'God' in it. If you haven't read it yet, you might find it interesting, hopefully.
Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta	28-Mar-06/11:18 AM
I like you Al. Somehow you have a reference for almost anything. I've just critiqued your poem Buddy. I'm surprised you sent it as a reference.
Re: a comment on Buddy by ALChemy	28-Mar-06/11:13 AM
I once made a god-proof hat like the one worn by arafat Now I work at 7-11s my name's 007 and hijacking's what I'm at.
Re: Buddy by ALChemy	28-Mar-06/11:09 AM
'For my master runs not a finger through my hair'... Hmmm a nice ending to a lovely description. You're an abandoned old soul waiting desperately for His attention! If only I could put the scene I have in mind into words!
Re: Time Will Change by x0lovelylarnx0	28-Mar-06/10:55 AM
This is good. But I would rather you modify the last line a bit. Some thing like, 'if only you will let him in.' As for comments, ignore what might bother you. Let each one have their say, as long as you stand your ground.
Re: a comment on Time Will Change by x0lovelylarnx0	28-Mar-06/10:54 AM
Garrett, I always wonder why people get so jittery when they hear the word 'God'. Why not 'babes' or war or life or anything else. Why God? Maybe you could give me some insight on this, the 'OH and the use of God, how apt!' remark coming from you. Nothing personal, but I'm a bit curious.
Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta	28-Mar-06/10:30 AM
dear friend drnick,... I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is me. Praising God and calling on Jesus is my passion. He is reflected in almost every thing I write and I can't help it. So unless you pray hard, very hard for a change in my writing style, and themes, you won't get anything else from me. Sorry about this, but cheer up, there's a lot of poets to cater to your taste. I'm disappointed though that I might not be one of them.