Re: a comment on Good old days by amanda_dcosta	26-Apr-06/11:37 AM
richa... thanks for the critique and vote. was away and saw it only now. Thanks.
Re: a comment on I Sleep by Sunny	26-Apr-06/11:34 AM
to discriminate from sin that divides my head into halves. ecargo... could it mean that when he sleeps, he doesn't have to bother about whether he chooses to be good or bad, morally upright or not.... every step of the day that would determine his life's grading? At night... he just gives it all a rest by his sleep.
Re: I Sleep by Sunny	26-Apr-06/11:28 AM
Is it 'one day's plan'? Verse 2 line 2. I haven't read all the critiques yet, that's posted below this poem.... looks like I must, but no time now. However, for my part of the critique.... personally, I liked the idea behind the poem. Sleep! Maybe it could have been put into more expressions, or perhaps the presentation better... but it has potential.
Re: First Warm Day on Santa Barbara Bay by Dovina	26-Apr-06/11:15 AM
Hear the might waters roar..... that sounds like a common enough sentence with nothing new to it. More like a borrowed phrase.
Re: a comment on First Warm Day on Santa Barbara Bay by Dovina	26-Apr-06/11:13 AM
Is it because I have been away for sometime? Haha... I think that wd hardly matter though!
Re: Emo Kid by Fayt	7-Apr-06/10:07 AM
Hmmm... not bad. has a bit of a humor tone to it. As for a limmerick format, sorry I can't comment on that. I'm a stranger to limmerick forms and rules. Keep writing.
Re: Old River Sherbourne by Caducus	7-Apr-06/10:01 AM
M6 bowel? Enlighten me. And spon with spon ? Not comfortable with that. The rest is lovely... and a good, lively description.
Re: a comment on Good old days by amanda_dcosta	7-Apr-06/9:52 AM
Hmmm... Thank you. The last stanza, you say as in 'If only I could relive it all!' ? Looks like it's fired. Gotta go. Am off for ten days, going down town... home. Will be back after Easter. Till then, see you guys and have a Happy Easter.
Re: a comment on Good old days by amanda_dcosta	7-Apr-06/1:02 AM
Well then, the last line goes (in the edit). Am convinced enough. And the song... this is my all time favouorite. Very nostalgic memories attached to it.
Re: To Orange by Lifeboatman	7-Apr-06/12:28 AM
nice
Re: a comment on Good old days by amanda_dcosta	6-Apr-06/11:20 PM
Dovina and Ranger, The main body of the poem is to describe the feelings of a little girl who once was me. That girl had a wonderful childhood that she wants it all back.... The feeling is so intense that that girl, now, the present me just wants it all back... and hence it's in exclamation, and changed to the first person. It's more like a sigh. Maybe, I could delete the last line or change it back to the third person. Thanks for the critiques and votes. 4/4....Send me the pillow that you dream on Don't you know that I still care for you Send me the pillow that you dream on So darling I can dream on it too.
Re: a comment on These Past Sixteen Months by amanda_dcosta	6-Apr-06/10:55 PM
Very constructive critisism. Thanks. I agree I should do a lot more proof reading and editing on this. And the " o'er ", maybe I could reword it over. As for the four continent verse.... it was part of the trying time I had to deal with... part of which was also due to the events mentioned in the verse before this. On the whole, the whole description of this poem is about my distress and anxiety, one which I am able to handle through faith.
Re: a comment on These Past Sixteen Months by amanda_dcosta	5-Apr-06/10:18 AM
Ha ha ha... no probs drnick.:-). I'm honoured that you still read my poems inspite of my choice of topics and and persitence. Thanks for your vote.
Re: a comment on Pastoral Care (Psalm 23 revisited) by Dovina	4-Apr-06/10:51 AM
What is a female goatherd called?
Re: Pastoral Care (Psalm 23 revisited) by Dovina	4-Apr-06/10:46 AM
Quite a realistic description to the psalm. It is the flow though that could be noted... a bit unbalanced. On the whole I like it.
Re: a comment on Because You Love Me by amanda_dcosta	4-Apr-06/10:09 AM
Cadacus... thanks a ton for your vote and critique. I'm priveledged to have your vote on my page which I normally do not see around. As for wanting to know why I love him... I don't specify that, as what matters to me is the fact that I am loved no matter what. 'The road I take' means that however I live my life... good or bad, I'm still loved, irrespective of whether or how much I love him. That's the love of God. Even if I might not believe in Him, He still believes in me!
Re: a comment on These Past Sixteen Months by amanda_dcosta	3-Apr-06/11:32 AM
The last two paras summarize the essence of what I'm going through and how I accept my challenge rather than mourning and brooding and being totally depressive and pessimistic. I believe in a life of hope... and there's no better source, to me, than from the one on the cross. And the archaic language is in relation to the archaic faith that has been tested over the centuries. I feel it fits the mood, though I'm willing to agree with the major consensus on this.
Re: a comment on Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	2-Apr-06/3:15 AM
Lovely!
Re: a comment on Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	2-Apr-06/1:25 AM
And what may I ask is her name... if you don't mind. And don't tell me it's Sunshine!
Re: a comment on Because You Love Me by amanda_dcosta	31-Mar-06/8:08 PM
There are different ways to looking at it. Why now think 'Wow! if only Celine Deon's awful song was as wonderful as this!' Why not change your way of looking at things. Does it has to be the other way round just because that's the usual norm? We need to change the way we look at things as change is the essence of growth.