| Re: You can go no further. by Dovina |
12-May-06/12:20 PM |
A very interesting piece, quite to my liking.
Dovina, I really admire the way you have your poems ready, one after the other, and am sorry to say that I haven't given much of them their due credit. Wish I had more time. Am awfully busy. Shifting next week.
I read this a couple of days ago and reminded my self to come back to it. I like it.
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| Re: Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger |
12-May-06/12:13 PM |
Ranger, I need to read this more clearly during the day.
It's 00:40 hrs now and I'm quite tired. Sorry for no vote now. I did read it, and it looks interesting, but am unable to be specific right now.
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| Re: a comment on A Snap Shot by amanda_dcosta |
12-May-06/12:10 PM |
Thanks Ranger. This is faster than I expected.
And the porpoises, well, it was their mood that I took note of. Maybe I should have given more thought to what they looked like. Thanks for the suggestion.
As for the use of 'the', I was merely being specific of what I took into account. Not just writing on anything at all. Well, this is just my opinion. Shall try to see how 'the' can be deleted, and where. Thanks Ranger.
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| Re: a comment on To Brittany by amanda_dcosta |
12-May-06/11:50 AM |
Hi Al. It's good to see you back. We missed you on PR. And thanks for the applause and the ten. Am glad to see it makes a difference atleast to one soul.
Am now praying for some inspiration on what to write for a little girl who's suffering from Down's syndrome, but was also affected by partial paralysis since the age of three months. She can neither sit nor stand, and has to be attended upon for everything. I believe she lives in the U.S. and will turn five yrs this 26th (May).
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| Re: Glorious Turncoat, I Shall Return by Ranger |
6-May-06/9:12 AM |
Ranger, your description makes it now more clear. It's more like Jesus' dialogue to silent Judas. The idea and imagery are good, the portrayal of the tree and the caterpillar is fantastic. Your usage of the english language is beautiful. You never fail to amaze me on the various beautiful phrases you adopt or invent, (if that could be said of it.) On the whole I give it an -8-. marks for ...statuesque as a memory, What will your wings resemble when you appear from this web?, Needle-wire undead tree....
The last two lines give it a beautiful finish.
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| Re: a comment on Glorious Turncoat, I Shall Return by Ranger |
5-May-06/5:52 AM |
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Ranger, this piece is pretty good. The first two verses seemed to go well with me. But with the last verse... I think you aught to give me a bit of explanation. As I told you before, I have strong views against this gospel of Judas... but I'm willing to see your point on this.. so help me out. explain the jist of the third verse in a nut shell. I refrain from voting till then.
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| Re: a comment on Freud Spoke Of A Mother's Tongue, But I Interpret Dreams by Ranger |
29-Apr-06/12:26 PM |
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It's 1.00 a.m., 30th April, here in India. I'd better sign off soon. Good night.
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| Re: a comment on Freud Spoke Of A Mother's Tongue, But I Interpret Dreams by Ranger |
29-Apr-06/12:24 PM |
Alchemy ... no. I wish I had his e-mail.
And chat. this is something that PR's rarely make use of. Otherwise it would be more fun to log in together and have a hearty debate. Is there much problem to logging in to chat?
I never seem to have any trouble.
As for ' Gospel of Judas", I have my opinins.... strong ones against it.... but depends what you write. Would love to see it though.
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| Re: Freud Spoke Of A Mother's Tongue, But I Interpret Dreams by Ranger |
29-Apr-06/12:06 PM |
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| Re: Tang Soo Do See Do by ecargo |
29-Apr-06/12:03 PM |
ecargo... hmmm this is pretty good. Not particulary to my taste, but even then I think I must be frank and fair. You deserve a 10.
P.S. Ironically, this is the stuff I vote a zero here in my home. Punches and jabs..... I'm scared to see it physically, wondering when my kids (biggest kid - my husband) will end up with stitches (which is nothing new). An in the end my husband stands and bows pretending to be the winner among the lot. Proudly. :-)
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| Re: Freud Spoke Of A Mother's Tongue, But I Interpret Dreams by Ranger |
29-Apr-06/11:48 AM |
Ranger, This is yet another piece where you've got me racking my brains. Making us exercise, aren't you? :-) Am enjoying it.
Somehow you and my husband will be able to get along well with topics like this. Probably he'll be able to give you a valid critique on this.
From my point of view, I don't seem to be getting anywhere far with this. It ain't particulary clear.
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| Re: a comment on To Brittany by amanda_dcosta |
29-Apr-06/1:00 AM |
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Ha ha ha... Is the bait good enough for him,D?
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| Re: a comment on To Brittany by amanda_dcosta |
29-Apr-06/12:51 AM |
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Hmmmm.......... Naaaa. It doesn't appeal to me.
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| Re: a comment on To Brittany by amanda_dcosta |
29-Apr-06/12:47 AM |
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I think then it should be like - 'til -.
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| Re: a comment on To Brittany by amanda_dcosta |
27-Apr-06/11:55 PM |
Ranger, thanks a ton. I like reading your reviews.
When I was writing this, I kept racking my brain for a word instead of 'gap' and couldn't come up with an appropriate alternative. If you have any suggestion for it be free to share. I wd be interested.
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| Re: a comment on To Brittany by amanda_dcosta |
27-Apr-06/11:46 PM |
Enkidu, thank you. It's nice to see you around my pages. Thanks.
'Cherub' - the idea behind it is to describe the child as having an angelic, innocent, heavenly spirit. Hence the usage.
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| Re: a comment on To Brittany by amanda_dcosta |
27-Apr-06/11:42 PM |
Dovina, hi! and thanks for your vote and critique. why "til"? I don't get that part of your sugggestion.
And for the rest of the stuff,"Touch a patch of land that needs you most" , well, as far as sun's rays are needed, all things do, land does and so on. But maybe there's some place that needs to be warmed up urgently, like a cold lonely heart wanting to be warmed up by friendship, perhaps. So there's an essence of wanting a beam of light to filter through the clouds and landing right on target. Bingo, bulls eye! That's the idea behind it.
And as for the last line, it's 'my' on purpose. If nothing else , she might just touch my heart, as she's already begun to.
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| Re: a comment on I Sleep by Sunny |
27-Apr-06/11:04 AM |
A 'She'? How deceiving!... ha ha ha. I think I have to be careful how I address my fellow poets here.
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| Re: To Brittany by amanda_dcosta |
26-Apr-06/12:13 PM |
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| Re: Murder Phoenix Born (meta-villanelle) by Ranger |
26-Apr-06/11:49 AM |
The truth is... I am lost as to what your point is behind the poem..... the phoenix... well, that's acceptable. but the rest? I think I have to re-read this tomorrow... or when I get the time, at the earliest. I am not familiar with meta-vilanelle and extra stuff like that and hence I refrain from voting. My vote wouldn't be fair.
you have a nice play of words though!
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