| regarding some deleted poem... |
15-Jun-05/2:39 PM |
in the first verse I feel confused by the possessive apostrophe on "mans'" then in the next line you write "mind" as if 'man' has a collective mind. The rest of your poem uses the word 'man' in a plural sense.
and -- I'm thinking you are a space alien since you find no sympathy in yourself for mankind (sociopath or space alien...you choose). So, good job for a space alien.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
15-Jun-05/2:46 PM |
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I don't get it. I guess I'll try reading it again. Sometimes I'm just dense. I think I missed a metaphor or something.
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| Re: Between the Edges by woodstock20000 |
15-Jun-05/2:49 PM |
loving/hating -- wonderful/wrenching.
I tend to use this type of dissonance too much in what I write about love.
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| Re: Don't be gay by wCUNTw |
16-Jun-05/10:54 AM |
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it rhymes, so it must be true.
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| Re: I AM WHO I AM by blackthoughtz1 |
16-Jun-05/10:59 AM |
paradigm best explains you?
A pattern or model best explains you? huh.. strange. then you say you are outside of the box. cognitively dissonant. hmm.
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| Re: Eulogy for a Poet by Dovina |
16-Jun-05/11:24 AM |
Frost in his belly
fire in his heart
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| Re: When the muse calls. by darby pyn |
16-Jun-05/11:58 AM |
inhibitions instead of inabitions.. because inabitions is not a word. a great word instead of inabitions would be inanitions.
inanitions means exhaustion, as from lack of nourishment or vitality. This would make the next line about starving flow.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
16-Jun-05/12:03 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
16-Jun-05/12:19 PM |
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I'm sad I had to read the comments to understand this... but I can see it now.. with the prodding from nentwined.
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| Re: Love by untamed_fierce |
17-Jun-05/12:46 AM |
good start.. where are the other stanzas?
I'll vote when you're done.
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| Re: For the love of joey(revised) by mystic enoch |
17-Jun-05/12:23 PM |
"for the love of you" is just bad.
the genitive form of YOU is YOUR.
"for your love" is a song by a reggae band (King Konga) a Country Artist (Chris LeDoux), and a classic sixties rock song (yardbirds). I even think Stevie Wonder sang a song titled For your Love.
okay. bye.
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| Re: missing pieces by mystic enoch |
17-Jun-05/12:24 PM |
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not as good as the JOEY one.
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| Re: word splatter by nentwined |
17-Jun-05/11:39 PM |
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| Re: A limerick by smiffy84 |
17-Jun-05/11:43 PM |
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I think Joseph Smith was an idiot.
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| Re: Feed The War Machine by smiffy84 |
17-Jun-05/11:47 PM |
most generals I've seen (excluding Stormin' Norman) are not fat.. they are quite trim, in fact.
We all have to die. Nobody makes anybody enlist in the armed services anymore. It's like saying "My life is not worth preserving" when you sign up.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Jun-05/4:51 PM |
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I don't hate this. mostly.
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| Re: Diary of sorrow.... by dantron |
18-Jun-05/4:53 PM |
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you're spelling is awesome.
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| Re: This or That by sacred_poet_me |
18-Jun-05/4:56 PM |
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Romantics Facing Reality -- meetings at 8PM at the International Order of Oddfellows Hall.
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| Re: At The End by lil_evil_boi |
18-Jun-05/5:00 PM |
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| Re: Kiss Me by smiffy84 |
18-Jun-05/5:02 PM |
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