Re: a comment on midnight feast by pollywolly	30-Jan-06/10:02 AM
See now I'm thinking this poem is sexual but then again I always think like that:) I would tell the whole story the way you want to tell it. I think with a start like this, if you surprised us with a plot twist or mood shift like where it sounds like you're going then that would be awesome. Sometimes we start poems and just get tired or run out of ideas or lose interest in what we're writing so we just wrap it up and move on. I say hang on to those poems. usually the perfect finish will come to you eventually.
Re: a comment on midnight feast by pollywolly	30-Jan-06/9:28 AM
I know what you're getting at. It's a horror technique designed to make the audience keep thinking about the movie after they go home and maybe hopefully have nightmares about it. But there's not a whole lot of stuff for your audience to take home yet. You still need more story. Right now what we've got is just a scary scene from the story.
Re: a comment on angst of the saints by calliope	30-Jan-06/2:04 AM
Not lame at all. He helped make Socrates into an almost holy icon and he is probably in the top 3 most widely read philosophers of all time. Pupil of Socrates, teacher of Aristotle. How's that for a resume? I got his book from a yard sale too.
Re: a comment on Racial Hate by Glasseyez	30-Jan-06/1:53 AM
You know, there's a scientific theory that kinda agrees with you. It's called the string theory. I'm really in no possition to preach to you about racism while you're stuck in another country with millions of people who hate you for nothing but racist reasons. I just wanted you to know that it's OK and natural to feel or have racist thoughts as long as you don't act on them or let them effect your logic too much. Just like it's OK for you to think Tom Cruise is sexy as long as you don't cheat on your husband or become obsessed with the movie star.
Re: a comment on Racial Hate by Glasseyez	30-Jan-06/1:42 AM
All you can really do is identify a racist thought and then find a mature way to squelch it.
Re: a comment on Our Marriage by amanda_dcosta	30-Jan-06/1:34 AM
"Come-on-knock-on-our-door We've-been-waitin'-for-you..."
Re: a comment on Us Sinners by BrandonW	30-Jan-06/1:26 AM
I have no beef with atheists. But if you gonna be something be true to it. An atheist should believe that he's just here to do his thing and die. No higher purposes, no immortal legacy, no miracle pill to make you live forever, just here today gone tomorrow. Same thing with Christians. If your gonna do it, do it completely. Otherwise don't bog yourself down with such labels. I actually think Zodiac isn't completely an atheist. I don't think you are either. I think it's possible to change both your minds as it is with Amanda also but I think it's highly unlikely to happen in all three cases. Most people say they have strong beliefs in something but eventually show their true wishy washiness. The difference with me is that I already admit I'm wishy washy.
Re: a comment on The world's shortest poem by ALChemy	30-Jan-06/12:46 AM
Thanks Ranger. While in Art school me and my friends often imagined starting a T-shirt line(cheesy, I know). This was one of my ideas. Another idea of mine was "We endorse censorshit!"
Re: a comment on Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	30-Jan-06/12:35 AM
Yeah, I realize now that my spelling in this is embarrassing. Thanks Ranger. By the way it's good to see you posting again. Welcome back.
Re: a comment on Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	30-Jan-06/12:29 AM
Thanks E. Good points. I typed it on Word and basically only used its spell check so my laziness and bad spelling bit me in the ass. Your right, I probably could have come up with something better than the Santa line. The dream wife lines? Well, my father tends to think ahead of himself sometimes and it causes his sentences to be only obscurely connected. I couldn't resist mirroring this in the poem a little. This is what I meant: "Run to your dream wife(the wife I imagined I'd have) who’s face as light glows through closed lids like stained glass, illuminating blood capillaries the color of fresh lava(while staring into the slightly translucent inside of my eyelids) and if you concentrate appears into your frontal lobe as vapor apparition.(Her face appears like a ghostly illusion projected by my mind while my eyes are closed). So it's connected but there's a lot of descriptive stuff stuffed between the connections. I do the same thing when I interupt my father's line “Are you sure you want mine, their so - old and used" with a memory of my childhood. Soul mate was just a play on Soles (which I misspelled the first time). So I screwed that one up for sure. "Prophet shoes" is because of the omen at the beginning where the shoes don't quite fit. You've got an eye like an editor E. Thankya
Re: a comment on Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	29-Jan-06/11:45 PM
That's always a good thing. Means you really thought about it. Yeah I didn't do nearly enough proofreading before I posted it.
Re: Blackbird & the Everlasting Dream by Ranger	29-Jan-06/2:06 PM
Better than Paul McCartney's version. Once during one of those erie calms before the storm I stood on my porch watching a large flock of them spiraling a tunel in the grey-blue sky. Like shadows, like dark angels forming a vortex as if it were a passage to some demonic yet magnificent otherworld.
Re: a comment on Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	29-Jan-06/1:45 PM
Is it punctuation or grammatical wording? I suck at punctuation. I don't mind pushing the boundries of grammatical wording though, at least in poetry. I just put this together today so it's probably a little raw. Zodiac's "After Fighting" inspired it as far as metaphor goes. I wanted to use an old cliche and make it sound raw and new again. I've had alot of revelations about my dad and my goals in the last few years and this was part of it. Thanks Ranger.
Re: a comment on Racial Hate by Glasseyez	29-Jan-06/1:28 PM
Amanda. You, me, Dovina and everyone else on this planet are racists. We're born that way. That's the way we were, are and will be for a long long time. What's that, you don't believe me? "Don't ask me about what they do. If I were to follow them I would definitely end up inside the institute and not ouside where I am right now. You name it, they have a ritual and god for almost anything under the sun...even the sun! Nuclear war? They'd probably worship even that if you let them face one." Well now you know and knowing is half the battle. Yoooooo Joe!
Re: Untouchable by rahson_s	29-Jan-06/1:07 PM
"Loves to be fucked by angry young men and wants to be loved by daddy’s best friend."-by me. She'll grow out of you and leave you, I promise. It's just the way it is.
Re: Malice In Wonderland (edited) by Caducus	29-Jan-06/12:56 PM
There is something horrific about childrens stories that you only discover as an adult. There's a little too much of a gap between images and the last stanza comes across as a shock gimmick.
Re: Rain by dancin_n_da_moonlite	29-Jan-06/12:47 PM
Considerate of you to stop before Davey asked Katie for a BJ. I kinda like this though, really.
Re: Sky All Around Me (goddess edit) by ecargo	29-Jan-06/12:39 PM
What's the -- after "light" for?
Re: Sunday Legs by D. $ Fontera	29-Jan-06/12:31 PM
"Your hair sideways like conch-shell swirls" is a great line. Get at least two more lines like that and it's an automatic 10 from me.
Re: midnight feast by pollywolly	29-Jan-06/12:20 PM
Much like ecargo's tiger poem, your's starts something very interesting but it seems like it wnts to tell us more.