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Sunday Legs (Free verse) by D. $ Fontera Tomorrow is late coming
But you in flesh
High skirted strides
Fool me into thinking of August
When the heat folds
Your hair sideways
Like conch-shell swirls
And the Sunday legs
Of my desire
Criss-cross beneath you
You
You are infamous
The diamonds that sparkle
On your throat
Curtain my spinning eyes
From that Sunday smile
And a blouse that cuts
Deep veins below your shoulders
Up the ladder:
Godproof Hat
Down the ladder:
Prayer of Forgiveness
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.6666665
Posted: January 29, 2006 12:42 AM PST; Last modified: January 29, 2006 12:42 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.4482355 Overall Rank: 2952 Comments:
[7]
amanda_dcosta @ 203.145.159.44
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29-Jan-06/1:01 AM
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Reply
Who are you writing about? must be one somebody to inspire you so. Good for you.
Very sexy, made me think of movie stars.
"Your hair sideways like conch-shell swirls" is a great line. Get at least two more lines like that and it's an automatic 10 from me.
The first stanza could stand alone...and stand solid, at that! It wasn't as well, pulled together, to me, after that. Very nice, all-in-all, though! It seems you just stopped, rather than ended this.
"And a blouse that cuts Deep veins below your shoulders"....?
Catchy Title!
The first stanza had my attention and visuals in a swirl, but the ending wasn't as bold as I was looking forward to.
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