Re: a comment on Cinematic Indulgence by nentwined	5-Aug-08/3:19 PM
No not really. Might take me anywhere as long as the flow is good.
Re: Cinematic Indulgence by nentwined	22-Jul-08/1:18 PM
Pretty good flow but ending too soon.
Re: a comment on God the mother by Dental Panic	20-Jul-08/1:41 PM
Thanks very much for the comment - it makes sense, I'll keep the ending.
Re: I had no idea it could be so good by A. Nomaly	29-Apr-08/1:19 AM
I like it too. Great works on your homepage.
Re: Easter Egg Hunt by Dovina	29-Nov-07/6:14 AM
While freestrolling through comments here and there, I read a line of yours, going something like: did I see you in Kansas, staring at daisies? Maybe you should try to write more by accident - this is one big deliberate bulk.
Re: In the berth by INTRANSIT	29-Nov-07/5:57 AM
the sound effects make it an infant thing - don't know if that's intentional. It's wasted on me, that's for sure. I like the cat though. prrrr prrrrrrrrrrr
Re: a bit of theory by pete	26-Oct-07/6:07 AM
I like it – especially the first line.
Re: a comment on INTELLIGENCIA by INTRANSIT	25-Oct-07/10:50 AM
- with the poem, I mean.
Re: INTELLIGENCIA by INTRANSIT	24-Oct-07/4:41 PM
I totally agree.
Re: Forever Moving On by Absorbed Intellect	24-Oct-07/4:24 PM
I, as a member of the FMO, am simply stupified by the sublime accuracy of your poem.
Re: Prescription of Pain by Miggy	10-Aug-07/1:33 PM
yeah, chirp is great. Sounds like Bush talkin' bout Yurp.
Re: scene by Dental Panic	8-Jul-07/8:24 AM
thanx for the replies
Re: In the maybe by INTRANSIT	8-Jul-07/8:14 AM
There is a good line in here, the one about chrismas I mean, but on the whole it drifts off in the ‘I make some kind of statement’ direction. You know, this and that: is nobody’s fault, no one knows, all I have, all I can, undsoweiter. It’s like generalising the personal in order to express an all too poetic mood of inconclusiveness. Perhaps. I could be completely wrong here. But one does have that liberty in the warm wet womb of the internet. Anyway, speaking of teachers – I just watched Taylor Mali perform ‘what teachers make’. I think your logbook poem is better, but this one is worse. So much for comparisons.
Re: What the log book doesn't show by INTRANSIT	6-Jul-07/2:22 PM
Very good poem. Top of the scale. Worth all the rereads. And so forth.
Re: Summer Loving by Christof	6-Jul-07/1:49 PM
I like the image of the bottled wasp very much. I think it's possible to explore an image, or take it further, but you should never explain it - which is exactly what you're doing in the lines following the wasp: "Lured by sweetness, buzzing and wrestling And crawling the walls of the great empty vessel In which she is trapped." Ow! Guess I was to dumb to get it. The first part is pretty nice (skip one morning though), up to the lover's arrival. The rhythm goes out the window there and the whole poem becomes a bit lazy and self satisfied with stuff like 'fantasy girl' and such. And the grease doesn't do it any good either. Still, there's the wasp.
Re: Ein Kampf by Sasha	22-Apr-07/3:33 PM
better not have kids, then.
Re: Unsung American Dream by SupremeDreamer	22-Apr-07/3:06 PM
time for a commercial break.
Re: a comment on Untitled by Dovina	21-Mar-07/5:31 PM
so why call it haiku? 'short poem' will do fine. I find a touch of sentiment in this one: even when I'm in Kyoto when I hear the cuckoo I long for Kyoto still, it's more of an observation of a sentiment. But this is one of the best: Old pond Frog jumps in Splash! (both are by Basho)
Re: Untitled by Dovina	21-Mar-07/4:37 PM
haiku should be left to japanese. western haiku always has this slight touch of sentiment, morality or metaphor.
Re: a comment on cold war by Dental Panic	6-Mar-07/2:31 AM
You're right. No need to rub it in. I'll drop the last line.