Re: a comment on The Smoke That Follows by PsydewaysTears |
25-Jun-22/7:19 PM |
Come baa-haa-haa-haa-haa-haa-hack...
(thank you)
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Re: a handful of almonds by Bill Z Bub |
15-Jun-22/11:47 PM |
Ironically, if I'm sad enough my clouds seem silver-lined. They, too, fall... clouds. They just don't matter as clouds, regardless of drop-rate, once they do.
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Re: a comment on The Child in The Painting by PsydewaysTears |
7-Jul-07/8:48 PM |
Yeah the "There's" are a bit overladen here, definitely even. The veil though, is just more on the separation of the world in the painting from the outside world. -ie the glass IS the veil IS the sky IS the dimensional boundary between mortality and beyond.
Would you suggest less repetition of the there's or a re-wording of those parts entirely?
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Re: Consider the Grass by Dovina |
1-Jul-07/12:56 PM |
very strong ending, loved this upon finishing it
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Re: The Stone Man by Bethy |
24-Aug-05/10:38 AM |
Sounds like it could be the chorus of a NIN song. Cool!
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Re: a comment on The Box by PsydewaysTears |
15-Aug-05/6:44 PM |
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Re: a comment on MOMENTS From A Madman's Mind by PsydewaysTears |
9-Apr-05/11:37 PM |
The moments could have been amidst a madman's thoughts..... but then the alliteration goes all to whack (so "poo" on my predicament). And, a while without napkins!!!!! How do you people survive?
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Re: a comment on The Lying Game by PsydewaysTears |
26-Mar-05/2:52 PM |
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Re: a comment on The Lying Game by PsydewaysTears |
25-Mar-05/10:53 PM |
Haha, that's probably true since it doesn't ring any bells. *wonders who it's by* (I was born in 1985)
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Re: Summing Up by Dovina |
18-Feb-05/2:59 PM |
I don't hate it.... ok maybe I don't hate it a lot. Very good poem. I especially adore the beginning of the second stanza.
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Re: a comment on Piercings by PsydewaysTears |
15-Feb-05/12:08 PM |
It goes with the line preceeding it just as much as "Making it hard to sneeze." goes with the one before it does. These lines do not outrank each other in meaning. The same way that snippet means nothing... the entire first three stanzas mean nothing.
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Re: a comment on Piercings by PsydewaysTears |
15-Feb-05/11:22 AM |
This may not include any extraordinary, groundbreaking discoveries in rhyme.... but the fact that a rhyme is apparent doesn't make it forced into the poem.
I love your opinions and everyone's.... I just love my opinions also. I don't mean to come off as snarky. Please feel obliged to never change how your think because of how my opinion might challenge yours.
I don't even really like this poem all that much either but it's not because of forced rhyming. I hate how it's so nonchalant and then dumps out an emotion at the end without giving any reasoning whatsoever. It lacks depth.
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Re: Piercings by PsydewaysTears |
14-Feb-05/9:00 PM |
The rhymes are simple but they don't stray from the topic or twist the syntax. Each set of two-lines connect. Nowhere does a rhyme create a sore-thumb of a section or an unbefitting line-ending. Obviousness doesn't make a rhyme forced.
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Re: a comment on Devil, Devil, Hear Me Pray by PsydewaysTears |
28-Jan-05/10:36 PM |
well, I don't believe in the Devil or worship..... anything at all. But I do have my moments when, to me, it seems he sets the mood grandly.
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Re: Dying In The Corner by Zalev |
8-Jan-05/2:43 AM |
Too rightly this one hit home... pleasantly flowing and darkly satisfying. I like it a lot.
â¢Â°â¢Gregory Jamesâ¢Â°â¢
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Re: Nightmares Of Yesterday by Zalev |
8-Jan-05/2:26 AM |
The title's catchy. And I liked the intro and the final two stanzas... the rest of it though, kinda lost its flare somewhere admidst "mom said I was drunk" and "please stop my sin". Maybe I just wanted to be pulled more into your mind's reactions than just given a dictation of events.... and maybe some metaphorical images to bounce off of would've been nice too. And one of those tiny little umbrellas for my pina colada, if it's not too much trouble.
â¢Â°â¢Gregory Jamesâ¢Â°â¢
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Re: a comment on The Toilet Paper Tumbles by PsydewaysTears |
6-Jan-05/10:58 AM |
Well somebody had to clean up the mess the meatball left behind.
â¢Â°â¢Gregory Jamesâ¢Â°â¢
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Re: a comment on What I Do Know by PsydewaysTears |
4-Jan-05/11:43 PM |
I know what you mean. My "exact feelings" usually only muster up when I'm attempting free verse (I'm not so great at it yet). I'm more of a form writer at heart so whenever I mosey into free verse I tend to say both too much and too little (and it turns out journal-entry-ish). Thanks for the comment and rating!
â¢Â°â¢Gregory James â¢Â°â¢
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Re: hello eternity by justjay |
3-Jan-05/9:28 PM |
I like your use of the "â". The rest of it's a nice description of a dire emotion but to me it's only a very general emotion since I can't pinpoint which "words" are haunting you exactly or which events you're wishing to "forget" so badly. Though through and through this poem works. The word choice (especially "eternity") pulls it off.
â¢Â°â¢Gregory Jamesâ¢Â°â¢
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Re: a comment on What I Do Know by PsydewaysTears |
3-Jan-05/9:15 PM |
I dunno... I personally prefer a good popping-off of my head while the night is still young. But then again I've always been somewhat of a night owl so I'm sort of predisposed to thinking that.
â¢Â°â¢Gregory Jamesâ¢Â°â¢
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