poemranker ::Summing Up by Dovina

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Free verse № 120333

Summing Up

Member since 2004 · Posted 18 Feb 2005 · 10 comments

In a small apartment box a phantom figure sits awhile pensive in quarrel with the Universe then after a while goes - His scratches left on remembering walls holes where pictures hung depressions left in carpet from his waiting chair Oh, they cleaned away his life as best they could scrubbed his marks washed and even painted But his mail still comes his Playboy, bank statements bills, checks and offers for home equity loans I live with the remains of a man as with another long ago - a man with hopes that turned another way

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mean 7.70 weighted 6.35 rank 831 views 306 View voting details →

10 votes so far. Yours would make 11.10 votes so far

10 comments

[9] wilco 18-Feb-05/1:05 PM Reply
One of your best in a while, D. Kind of a sad, haunting feel to it.

Wow, a 0...Don't think I've ever seen you give one of those before...Either I made you really mad or I posted the worst collection of scribblings ever.
[n/a] Dovina › wilco 18-Feb-05/5:04 PM Reply
They don’t offer minus twenty-five.
[9] wilco › Dovina 18-Feb-05/9:20 PM Reply
ouch.
[8] deleted user 18-Feb-05/1:38 PM Reply
Love your stuff Dovina!!!!!!!!Thanks for the vote Baby! And always remember every poem has a world within it!
The Peekster63
[n/a] Dovina › deleted user 18-Feb-05/5:01 PM Reply
A world in it eh? The small world of a laptop, maybe, surrounded by thin walls of a confining box, a little thinner than gravity and whatever holds me here.
[9] PsydewaysTears 18-Feb-05/2:59 PM Reply
I don't hate it.... ok maybe I don't hate it a lot. Very good poem. I especially adore the beginning of the second stanza.
[10] zodiac 18-Feb-05/11:04 PM Reply
Delete the last stanza.
[9] INTRANSIT › zodiac 19-Feb-05/5:17 AM Reply
Or just alter it a little. The major part suggests he's dead. The minor suggests he went to another woman. Wha'd you get?
[10] jroday 19-Feb-05/3:21 AM Reply
Love the poem, keep'em coming.
[10] Dan garcia-Black 20-Feb-05/10:05 PM Reply
Nicely put.