on Listless Nights by blindwriter
4 Apr 2005, 4:24 AM
Thanks.
I have been trying to attain a certain level of abstract and visonarianism...but I don't seem to be able to manage. Probably not super enough to attempt the impossible.
You're right about turbid. Will take your advice and try something a little simpler and easier to grasp.
As for this poem, it was an experiment with a general tone, there really is no meaning...a slight parallel maybe...but no beginning or end.
I have been trying to attain a certain level of abstract and visonarianism...but I don't seem to be able to manage. Probably not super enough to attempt the impossible.
You're right about turbid. Will take your advice and try something a little simpler and easier to grasp.
As for this poem, it was an experiment with a general tone, there really is no meaning...a slight parallel maybe...but no beginning or end.
on Road to Recovery by thepinkbunnyofdoom
3 Apr 2005, 11:12 PM
i only like the ending.
the rest is cliche after cliche.
there's a bit here and there but not enough to stand out.
not bad or anything...just mediocre.
the rest is cliche after cliche.
there's a bit here and there but not enough to stand out.
not bad or anything...just mediocre.
on Buried at Sea by brazen
3 Apr 2005, 11:08 PM
*heel
*fleeting
Wandering...choppy...
But concise and full of yummy imagery.
*fleeting
Wandering...choppy...
But concise and full of yummy imagery.
on Between Yesterday and Tomorrow by thepinkbunnyofdoom
3 Apr 2005, 11:06 PM
Well-devised. Very steady. Three thumbs up.
on Chocolate Rabbit Ears & Gay Sex by Bachus
28 Nov 2004, 2:38 AM
my favorite of all of yours.
not quite as diabolical as the others.
and very full of imagery...
nice.
i actually like it.
you've got my 9.
not quite as diabolical as the others.
and very full of imagery...
nice.
i actually like it.
you've got my 9.
on Jesus, I funneled enough beer to marry that? by Bachus
28 Nov 2004, 2:37 AM
that's a bit talented.
it's still freaking disgusting.
attempt something clean, please.
it's much easier to write freak-of-nature poetry than it is ordinary poetry...
it cuts half of the vocabulary out when you can't use perverted language.
it's still freaking disgusting.
attempt something clean, please.
it's much easier to write freak-of-nature poetry than it is ordinary poetry...
it cuts half of the vocabulary out when you can't use perverted language.
on Open my bum Oh Lord (Museheart parody) By Jesus Niggerstein by Bachus
28 Nov 2004, 2:33 AM
this is very disgusting.
any idiot can amuse the ants of the world by being a diabolical freak.
try something challenging.
any idiot can amuse the ants of the world by being a diabolical freak.
try something challenging.
on entangling my sweetheart sinks by skaskowski
28 Nov 2004, 2:31 AM
morbidly unamusing.
SEEK OUT A NOVEL THEME! Don't be squelched by the waters of cliche! I know it's a temptation to resort to EASY, readymade topics...but it's not good.
Very nice imagery, though. You've got my six.
SEEK OUT A NOVEL THEME! Don't be squelched by the waters of cliche! I know it's a temptation to resort to EASY, readymade topics...but it's not good.
Very nice imagery, though. You've got my six.
on Maiden, Maiden by blindwriter
21 Nov 2004, 10:09 PM
I understand, and I sympathize.
on The darkest woods ever by Shardik
20 Nov 2004, 7:23 PM
Here again, several useless inserts that, contrary to popular opinion, don't serve to hold a piece together, but depreciate it's value.
I like the third stanza. Masterful.
I like the third stanza. Masterful.
on The Ebony Orchid of Theta by Shardik
20 Nov 2004, 7:21 PM
A few trite lines here and there, but overall a good read.
on Remus by Blurred Crusade
20 Nov 2004, 3:35 AM
Quite an enchanting narrative.
The scenery is beautiful. Your line-division, masterfully utilized.
Nice work.
The scenery is beautiful. Your line-division, masterfully utilized.
Nice work.
on the absent-minded walk on the proverbial mountainside of nothingness + my mother's old tampons by skaskowski
20 Nov 2004, 3:33 AM
i am disgraced by posting here.
i'm sure you didn't mean this as intelligence at all.
there is a classification of poetry that is so entirely abstract in its imagery that it is clever. However, that form of poeticism is carefully written. Yours is obviously a piece of mockery. But I like it.
i'm sure you didn't mean this as intelligence at all.
there is a classification of poetry that is so entirely abstract in its imagery that it is clever. However, that form of poeticism is carefully written. Yours is obviously a piece of mockery. But I like it.
on Social Parody by skaskowski
20 Nov 2004, 3:17 AM
It's got a cleverly abstract quality.
Like something I would write.
Except not quite splendidly idiotic.
I have a feeling it was written out of boredom and absolute mindlessness.
Like something I would write.
Except not quite splendidly idiotic.
I have a feeling it was written out of boredom and absolute mindlessness.
I really like it. I really do. Don't know exactly why.