Re: a comment on I Love You Mildred Rogers No Matter What by cat	3-Aug-04/10:06 AM
You don't like glasses because they let you see too much.
Re: I Love You Mildred Rogers No Matter What by cat	2-Aug-04/8:03 PM
Could be said more effectively in half the words.
Re: May Monday Explanation by MacFrantic	2-Aug-04/1:50 PM
The first 5 lines are good. Could end it right there.
Re: I miss you still by beck2457	2-Aug-04/12:46 PM
I-miss-you poems are very common. They can be good if free from the usual cliches and having something more than the usual that this has.
Re: a comment on Consolation by Dovina	2-Aug-04/12:28 PM
Ambiguous poems are facinating because they often bring back responses I never thought of, sometimes better than I thought of. I never saw him as already dead, or of digging him up, though now these are possibilities. And the metaphor of a failed relationship is another possibility heretofor unthought of. Thanks.
Re: a comment on Consolation by Dovina	2-Aug-04/12:22 PM
Thanks.
Re: a comment on Consolation by Dovina	2-Aug-04/12:22 PM
Yeah, Dan, do I look like the kinda person who shoots a man just because he's hopeless and helpless and unable to provide any kind of useful service to me and who's just a drag on society?
Re: A FIRST POEM FOR MY GRANDCHILd by massangel62	2-Aug-04/11:43 AM
A nice sentiment and appreciated I am sure by the ones it is for, but a bit too simplistic for posting here. You will probably not appreciate the response.
Re: two by unknown^user	2-Aug-04/11:38 AM
A nicely crafted picture. Line breaks at the changes of scene seem appropriate. No period after "But if he is still the man." The title is not exactly a butler inviting me into the parlor.
Re: Mushroom Potion #9 by <{Baba^Yaga}>	2-Aug-04/11:19 AM
Sounds like you believe in darn near everything. I like the cadance, except for the last verse, which I wonder why you include.
Re: A poem crafted from the depths of my heart by capachijim	1-Aug-04/7:29 PM
Splendid!
Re: Meditations on a Human Skeleton in a Museum by Sasha	1-Aug-04/3:36 PM
A good thoughtful ramble. Line 1, do you mean "your teeth"? Might want to reconsider, "Whose money runs your immortality?" It throws in a new thought, maybe not needed. And if it's a sonnet, might want to reconsider the indentation and line break.
Re: Cold Ones by gayguy2005	1-Aug-04/2:31 PM
I think it would be stronger if some lines were omitted. Try leaving these out: Your in command, no longer theirs, are yours for your delights, yours are the only ones you hear, no complaints on how you good you are, its like your the only one here,
Re: a comment on Peace that Passes Understanding by Dovina	1-Aug-04/9:11 AM
Conversation with deity is much like yelling at yourself in your head. Maybe it’s the same thing. In the first line, the believer asks who the great mind of god helps, implying that he has developed doubts and thinks there may not be such a mind. The answer, which I show as God’s words, is my experience that such help comes in the present, inside us, to comfort the believer and not so much in the physical world as he wants to believe. Once he comes to this attitude, he becomes bewildered and asks why, or “Why am I not able to deal with this?” And then the guilt falls on him for not having enough faith, which he interprets as god saying, “Whose fault is that?” After some groping, the believer decides that nothing can be relied upon. To which god answers, yes, but you cannot do without me because I made you with a need which only I can fill. Once the believer understands this he obtains a peace, which is beyond understanding, or without understanding or logic. I may not have earned more than an 8, but that’s what I was groping with. Thanks.
Re: a comment on The Conception of a Dream by wilco	31-Jul-04/7:58 PM
Yeah, I use word too, and have to go back and de-capitalize.
Re: a comment on The Conception of a Dream by wilco	31-Jul-04/7:54 PM
makes sense. Chat is not working for me. How about you?
Re: The Conception of a Dream by wilco	31-Jul-04/7:52 PM
I've read this three times and it's still perplexing. First, I see so much variety that "Startlingly similar are the plains From one coast to the other" throws me. And why would the the goal of the wasted and youthful be to quiet these thoughts? Then comes a line I relate to and like: "to keep them in the forefront is the curse of the aged and foolish." The last verse I try to relate to the title and end up only vaguely able. Maybe it's supposed to be vague and dreamy.
Re: a comment on Dead by QuirkyWonder	31-Jul-04/7:41 PM
Well said.
Re: a comment on Peace that Passes Understanding by Dovina	31-Jul-04/4:22 PM
Some can, but in some there seems to be a god-shaped hole that nothing else can satisfy, even if doing so passes understanding.
Re: a comment on Peace that Passes Understanding by Dovina	31-Jul-04/4:10 PM
A poem.