poemranker ::Dead by QuirkyWonder

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Free verse № 109499

Dead

by QuirkyWonder

Member since 2004 · Posted 31 Jul 2004 · 5 comments

I look in the mirror And all I see Is a worthless person Staring back at me Nothing seems to matter Everything seems to hurt The only way to heal pain Is with pain So I step into the bathroom Find a razor and begin to cut As my blood spills onto the floor I feel almost free AS if my blood is what Has caused this pain With a single tear drop shed I realize how much I wish I was dead

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mean 1.33 weighted 4.56 rank 12640 views 167 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

5 comments

[4] wilco 31-Jul-04/7:04 PM Reply
I realize that things get bad, sometimes, but I truly cannot understand cutters. I understand the concept, but I just really don't get it. I encourage you to change your life if you're not happy with it. As far as the poem goes, it's not very good. I have read some things by you that show promise but this is not it.
[n/a] QuirkyWonder › wilco 31-Jul-04/7:08 PM Reply
Well I have never cut myself...I am usually happy with my life, not always though. I have thought about suicide, never tried to act on those thoughts though. What is it that you like about my poetry and what is it you do not like about it?
[4] wilco › QuirkyWonder 31-Jul-04/7:18 PM Reply
"Remember the Day" isn't bad because it's descriptive and can give the reader a picture and an idea of what you're talking about. "Hiding" is okay because it makes a good point, even though its not stated very well, it still says something. This poem is just self loathing and does one of two things to the reader: 1) makes them feel bad for you and therefore they don't care what you're saying 2) makes them mad at you for making them read some depressing crap (in which case they also don't care what you're saying).

The thing to remember when posting poetry (and I need to take my own advice sometimes, don't get me wrong) is that you are placing it here for people to read and comment on. If you want them to read it and read your future postings, you have to make it something that they will enjoy reading, or at least remember.
[n/a] Dovina › wilco 31-Jul-04/7:41 PM Reply
Well said.
[n/a] electroman1979 31-Jul-04/10:40 PM Reply
kinda a "bad thought" poem, think happy thoughts :D