wilco31 Jul 2004

"Remember the Day" isn't bad because it's descriptive and can give the reader a picture and an idea of what you're talking about. "Hiding" is okay because it makes a good point, even though its not stated very well, it still says something. This poem is just self loathing and does one of two things to the reader: 1) makes them feel bad for you and therefore they don't care what you're saying 2) makes them mad at you for making them read some depressing crap (in which case they also don't care what you're saying).

The thing to remember when posting poetry (and I need to take my own advice sometimes, don't get me wrong) is that you are placing it here for people to read and comment on. If you want them to read it and read your future postings, you have to make it something that they will enjoy reading, or at least remember.