Re: Smells by the_poetess	19-Aug-05/12:08 PM
The first verse is good, then it gets boring.
Re: Chocolate Bunny by not_a_philosopher	19-Aug-05/12:06 PM
Funny!
Re: a comment on How Angels Sleep by Dovina	19-Aug-05/11:54 AM
I worry about what you mean by “beatifully was a pun” and will not go there. The last line has only three beats, while the previous three lines have four beats each. I see how you want another da-dum. The other verses are not so regular, however. How about, “She understood he knew her heart.”
Re: a comment on Surveyor and Farmer by Dovina	19-Aug-05/11:41 AM
What I mean by it is not dirty, in my opinion, but rather a very affectionate response.
Re: a comment on The burden of faith by Bobjim	18-Aug-05/10:26 AM
Not necessarily. It depends on what my faith is in.
Re: Looking for someone by INTRANSIT	18-Aug-05/10:24 AM
How about simply, "A Letter To Anyone"? Or is it to someone? Must be to someone, because there must be some ones you would not want as golden catfish on you arms. I like looking for all our lost pens.
Re: a comment on Words by Dovina	18-Aug-05/10:15 AM
The word at the start of s2 is "Resting" so I don't understand. I hate to see you pissed off and will do anything to make you happy (almost).
Re: a comment on How Angels Sleep by Dovina	18-Aug-05/10:10 AM
That works for me too. I think all the stanzas have a submissive beat. The angel is submissive to the Teacher and to his task. The woman is submissive to being comforted by the angel, even as he fails. And the woman in the last verse, who is finally comforted, is submissive to the angel. Could you explain what you mean? The full stop at the end of s2 is there for grammar’s sake. But I see how it breaks the flow, and may do well to disappear.
Re: a comment on Written while Kayaking by Sasha	16-Aug-05/6:59 PM
BTW, "posesss what beauty you percieve" contains two misspelled words.
Re: a comment on Written while Kayaking by Sasha	16-Aug-05/6:57 PM
Yes you've said that very clearly and nicely in "it’s a kind of comfort to believe you see yourself with foreign eyes and know that you posesss what beauty you percieve." The problem is there's no link to the kayak, or a very weak link. The tone changes abruptly in Verse 2.
Re: The burden of faith by Bobjim	16-Aug-05/5:47 PM
The first seven lines are good. After that, you add something to the requirements for faith faith, something unnecessary in my opinion - faith in certain people. I don't see how "the core of my faith would be eroded" if I fail to take someone's word for something. Doesn't the Bible tell us to judge these things?
Re: Poem for a Snowstorm by crooked_smile	16-Aug-05/4:12 PM
I think this could be said in fewer words, and in more words spelled right. You've got the makings of a poem here, but before posting, please look for repetition and loose ends.
Re: a comment on The Box by PsydewaysTears	15-Aug-05/7:23 PM
No, not Moses. Funny-sad. One upset mom.
Re: a comment on More Than The World by XOXScottishgrlXOX	15-Aug-05/6:21 PM
Almost you.
Re: a comment on How Angels Sleep by Dovina	15-Aug-05/5:04 PM
I think the proper response is “Thank you.” So thank you. Some poemrankers come down hard on this kind of exchange. They say it’s just trading praise or that a “thank you” is simply fodder for more praise. They even say that praise such as yours is given only to stimulate like flattery on your poems. Ignore their ranting. You liked the poem and I’m glad. I believe it’s really that sincere.
Re: Puck by whispern_smoke_wisp	15-Aug-05/3:31 PM
I don't see why that makes it "a good thing."
Re: untitled by nicole081083	15-Aug-05/3:06 PM
Pretty good rhythm. Fix the spelling! But mostly try to say it in a less trite way.
Re: Let Go by nicole081083	15-Aug-05/3:04 PM
At lesst fix the spelling, grammar and tense problems.
Re: Written while Kayaking by Sasha	15-Aug-05/3:01 PM
You had me with the first verse - really descriptive. But as it relates to arogance and Narcissusism and the rest, well, I don't see it relating.
Re: The Box by PsydewaysTears	15-Aug-05/2:47 PM
Moses?