regarding some deleted poem...	7-Apr-05/12:45 PM
It has meter and all that poetic appropriatness, but the thought train feels too familiar.
Re: look east when you leave west by Caducus	8-Apr-05/7:55 AM
Something about writing a poem about never writing another poem is very nice. Greek gods, not Gods. Good title.
Re: Forbidden Fruit(2) by thepinkbunnyofdoom	8-Apr-05/12:18 PM
I get the forbiddenness you want her to see. But it seems that if you want to use that Biblical analogy, it would be better to talk of Eve and a serpent and the enticing fruit on a tree she was told not to touch. And twist that image into the things your are saying.
Re: Mixtapes (or We Always End Where We Began) by philn	8-Apr-05/2:33 PM
It's a nice play on cliches. I don't see the mixtape analogy, but I'm not in the music business. It seems cliches are unavoidable - birth, life, death - cliche, cliche.
Re: Poets are dead! by Prince of Void	8-Apr-05/2:40 PM
Not to wake you up again, but don't you think this is too dismal. After all, if there's absolutely no good and no life in what we do, then why are you doing it?
Re: science by whispern_smoke_wisp	9-Apr-05/10:37 AM
Science has explained away none of the magic of love between dog and human. The study of evolution only enhances the magic.
Re: Kansas City by PodPoet	9-Apr-05/10:39 AM
Well stated, though I disagree with your conclusion.
Re: shaving by crooked_smile	9-Apr-05/10:43 AM
Then it's not perfection, is it?
Re: a journey by the_poetess	9-Apr-05/10:49 AM
The first five lines are good, but then it wanders in bad grammar: (you lips are chapped) and (milk for you drink) The last line is only vaguely supported.
Re: a note on content by not_a_philosopher	9-Apr-05/10:51 AM
please, at least make it clear what you are getting at, so that if your only goal is to sound nice, people will know it.
Re: Boulder Lake, Somewhere in Wisconsin by jessicazee	12-Apr-05/7:35 AM
Good, but a problem with tenses - "You said we’d go" in first sentence, then "Drive your red truck" in the second. Then back to "I'd" in the third.
Re: Perfect Answer by Alizarin_Crimson	12-Apr-05/7:43 AM
The last two lines change from contemplative to didactic. That is if you mean "Be cause." If that's what you want to do, and I hope is is not, then transition needed.
Re: Judgement by Damien	14-Apr-05/7:03 AM
It is good to write without the restraints of grammar. After doing so, it is good to read what what you have written as someone else might, just to see if it is clear. Ususlly, clarity and grammar go together, but not always. I think this is clear
Re: Looking Over the Blueprints by somemorepoetry	14-Apr-05/7:19 AM
If he were truly an architect, he would not refer to his prints by the antiquated "blueprints" or draw their originals with compas and straight edge, but with CAD.
Re: believing by whispern_smoke_wisp	14-Apr-05/4:04 PM
Why do you expect that a god we all decide to believe in will bring peace? How many of the others have brought peace?
Re: Freedom by shadows	14-Apr-05/4:16 PM
Freedom is not realizing that the masses are safer without it.
Re: wonder by the_poetess	14-Apr-05/4:18 PM
Our wonder will stay right where it is.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Apr-05/11:17 AM
I agree with the man who said, “The important thing to me is if I feel I have been communicated with. It does not really matter if the communication actually happened.” I wish I felt communicated with here.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Apr-05/11:20 AM
Sometimes paper cuts.
Re: Thanks again by Everyone	16-Apr-05/11:26 AM
I'll take ten pounds not to tell.