Re: Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac	2-Jun-05/12:45 PM
Not knowing language or culture, I'd say she knotted her scarf, but can't see what she makes of it all.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Jun-05/12:56 PM
It starts out a good Penticost description, but the tongues of fire were there. And 5 weeks later, is that Verse 3?
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Jun-05/5:23 PM
I’m listening for the trigger sign. Nope, don’t hear it today, maybe tomorrow. Meanwhile, I’m displeased with “Iraq over two years.” I mean what if it were 1 or 20, the important thing is to say 2, not two – symmetry with 1700, or, er, 17,000. No stick with two and seventeen hundred, it’s prosaic that way, not that killer math.
regarding some deleted poem...	2-Jun-05/7:21 PM
A cute story with some funny prose. The title doesn't fit - dragons and backpack.
Re: Truckers should not be poets by INTRANSIT	2-Jun-05/7:31 PM
Splitting the years into pieces to please, some time pleasing here, some there, splitting gears, split by peers. Think I'll stay home.
Re: Captian, Doctor..Father by celticskatermatt1	2-Jun-05/7:33 PM
A little sappy, but alright, yep - all right.
Re: Structure of a Woman by al-naafiysh	3-Jun-05/10:34 AM
But I think you do have fancy architecture. It's sad that being built to love and understand, we're often hating and misunderstanding.
Re: Soldier by kev_wannabe	3-Jun-05/10:44 AM
Trite.
Re: Adibe's Song (third-time's-the-charm revision, less Spanish) by zodiac	3-Jun-05/1:32 PM
Why is she in the men's residencia? Is she a she? The scarf implies so. Why is hermano not Hermano? Is a hacienda a residencia? Not ordinarily. Why are housewives in a men's residencia? Why capital Heaven, but not church? How does she know tomorrow's headlines? Last line is good.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Jun-05/10:17 PM
Do you mean "hoped"?
Re: Always Forever by Princess_Snowflake	5-Jun-05/10:19 PM
How long is "almost a few years"? How long is "always forever"?
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Jun-05/3:05 PM
"o won't she" > or won't she I hope to be.
Re: Dovecote by zodiac	6-Jun-05/3:14 PM
The prodigious punctuation is distracting. Shorter lines with half as many : " , etc., would be more readable. It rambles too much for "free verse." Prose poem maybe. Still, a good story.
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Jun-05/5:24 PM
If you post a quote from the King James Version, credit is in order.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Jun-05/9:24 AM
Please look up Hebrews 11:1 in the King James Version of the Bible or go here: http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=65&chapter=11&verse=1&version=9&context=verse
Re: Ice mask by Caducus	7-Jun-05/12:01 PM
The first three verses are good. Then it gets weird. The widow and the girl who died at 20 seem unrelated to the one you start with. "older than she"
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Jun-05/12:03 PM
A good idea, not well written.
Re: he's leaving by eliznhaz	7-Jun-05/12:07 PM
Tender, but too close to the way I really think it will be. Give me imagery to cover my sorrow.
Re: Up Close at a Distance by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	7-Jun-05/2:27 PM
I like the mixture of emotions and the overiding passion. The ~ 's in ther first verse are a nice touch. Wish you'd used them in the second.
Re: Haiku String of the Bee by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	7-Jun-05/2:31 PM
I think haiku is not the best form for this. And "love for queen" seems unlikely.