'It's my party,
and I'll cry if I want to,
cry if I want to,
cry if I want to,
You would cry too
if it happened tohoo youououou'

(1963; a couple of months later)

'And now it's Judy's turn to cry
Judy's turn to cry
Judy's turn to cry-ay-ayyyy
cause Johnny's come baaaack to me'

Such a bastard, I am.. Allright- let me show you what one can do with a subject like this.

'I am counting the days
I am waiting for the moment
when I'm going to have to stay in this place
where you will be
no longer

moving
moving away from me without
fading

I am counting your smiles
I already hunger for the ones
that soon will be gone except the one preserved
with photographical sharpness
in my mind

longing
longing already for the rest of you
crying'


If you're interested to know: it cost me 45 minutes, 3 revisions and 8 corrections and I made a mess of the rhyme. But nobody ever said that poetrywriting is easy.

By the way; one of La Gore's mid-sixty recordings was called 'Moving away'... I hope she won't drag me to court.

I think it's kinda sweet in an innocent way. You could stand to lose the "leave" in line 2 and "I'll want to die" in the last line. Maybe something less cliche and dramatic than 'cry and I'll want to die." But your poem is not a waste of a read.

Tender, but too close to the way I really think it will be. Give me imagery to cover my sorrow.