Re: On and On and On by MacFrantic	11-Jul-07/6:31 AM
I agree, this is too long and repetitious and inventing a word like 'diers' to enforce a rhyme just isn't on. 'I'm a headache in the head/Of an infantile cupid' is tautologous - where else would the Cupid have a headache? Really, this has no focus but misery.
Re: a comment on Summer Loving by Christof	6-Jul-07/1:22 AM
I like twisted! I'm sorry to say I'm not interested in her POV in this - it's all about the voyeurs on the platform. Thanks for your comment though.
Re: (Title pending) by INTRANSIT	5-Jul-07/7:13 AM
Hey, I still like cochlea. This seems a little less sensuous than it did before - I'm not sure what other changes have been made - but it seems to me smoother and less memorable. I wouldn't have changed it. But you can't please all the people all the time...
Re: What the log book doesn't show by INTRANSIT	5-Jul-07/7:09 AM
Stanza 6 is great - I love a judiciously used pun. I think the last stanza also sums the whole up very poignantly. I'm afraid I don't know what an EKG is, so I'm not sure if I entirely get stanza 2, though the meaning is clear, but generally I think this is one of the best things I've read on this site.
Re: a comment on Summer Festival by Christof	2-Jul-07/9:12 AM
Actually, that's quite a serious allegation in Poemrankerland. I'd like to know why you said that.
Re: a comment on Summer Festival by Christof	2-Jul-07/9:09 AM
Er... I didn't. How could I? I don't think the site even allows you to do that, does it?
Re: a comment on Summer Festival by Christof	2-Jul-07/3:31 AM
Interesting - I can't see where to punctuate this without interrupting the flow of the thing. Suggestions?
Re: A Flower for Monet by Shuushin	27-Jun-07/6:29 AM
I commented before but never voted - here you go. I think end slightly lets it down, too limpid, too unearned, but the piece reads beautifully. Is the 'orange sun' over the Seine in the second stanza a reference to a Monet painting - is that the connection?
Re: Kittens and Pocket Money by Shuushin	27-Jun-07/6:17 AM
For once I can agree with Rockmage. It's probably what everyone on this site, in fact everyone everywhere, really wants and you have put it beautifully.
Re: (Title pending) by INTRANSIT	27-Jun-07/6:00 AM
Hi - good to see you again! Like this a lot. 'Cochlea' is a strangely anatomical word to use, it makes me feel almost queasy, and I think that's good - shows just how far those women burrow into us, even though we'd like to pretend they don't. A good tension between that and the last stanza. Nice one.
Re: a comment on Foie Gras by Christof	25-Jun-07/1:38 AM
The 'funnel' is my own term, glad you like it! And the geese are referring back to the title - they are the telesales people being filled up until they burst, like geese fattened up to make pate de foie gras.
Re: a comment on grim task by lmp	21-Jun-07/2:46 PM
By 'our most pompus novelists' I was referring to British novelists - I was comparing Brits to de Lillo and and Lewis. But as I said, there's no pomposity monopoly on either side. I don't know where 'lorry' comes from, but it's definitely different to a truck. A truck is smaller and cuter.
Re: grim task by lmp	21-Jun-07/7:35 AM
The villanelle is tough little nut to crack and i think this pretty damn good. I don't really like 'ev'ry' - I think the metre would make the syllabic count of the word clear, and it would be nice not to have that archaism. But it's only a small thing and it's made up for by 'wet silty clay' - you've obviously been digging in my garden. Not wanting to get pulled into the British pomposity argument above but - really, the Brits don't have the monopoly on pomposity. Our most pompous novelists are laugh riots next to Dom de Lillo or Sinclair Lewis and as for linguistic rigidity - have you seen the New Yorker? It's like Edith Wharton never died.
Re: Just Another Reason by Skamper	21-Jun-07/6:48 AM
Do you have kids? This does sound like the conversation a parent has with himself whenever the darling child misbehaves. A typo in 'offspring' but otherwise I like this, it's a good bit of polemic.
Re: a comment on Field Work by Christof	21-Jun-07/5:42 AM
I've been inspired to get up off my arse recently, for some reason. Possibly having a new baby. And of course the best thing to do is come straight back here and have a ruck with Rockmage, but never mind. Glad you liked this and yes, it is about something a bit naughty.
Re: Bookends by INTRANSIT	19-Jun-07/4:04 AM
This is really new from you! This like Ezra Pound meets Lenny Bruce - really enjoyable and funny and letting its satirical teeth gleam. It's good to be abck on the 'ranker. The end of a very long dry spell has brought me back and it's good to see old friends here.
Re: Eleven Reasons For Love by horus8	19-Jun-07/4:01 AM
Horus It's been a long time since I last came here and some of the old timers have gone - where is God'swife's poetry? - but how good to see you're still here, still spitting it out according to your own personal rhythm - I like it.
Re: The first time in forever by Jeremi B. Handrinos	29-Jan-07/8:34 AM
This is great - controlled, wry, well-paced, dispassionate but bursting with sadness. Lovely lovely stuff.
Re: Israel (Through The Eyes Of One Jewish Soul) by slana5	29-Jan-07/8:30 AM
The problems with this could all be sorted out by substituting the word 'ISRAEL' with the word 'NEWPORT PAGNELL'.
Re: The Passing by Stephen Robins	29-Jan-07/8:27 AM
This made me laugh. That is a good thing.