mystic enoch
on Dying breed by INTRANSIT
9 May 2005, 11:32 AM
that was very interesting. it made me really think about what I was reading. I had to read it a second time. It is on my favorites list.
DOH! Too bad it's not iambic. I tried to spondee while playing twister in a truckstop parking lot with some midgets. I kicked myself in the eye. Here are my problems with it: cross bridges of thought- is good but OF COURSE they're un-dewed. Bridges keep you out of the water, duh. And I think it's a bit of a leap to the closer, a chronic problem I seem to have. I appreciate your time though. Thanks!
The poem is very nice.It's sad about the pet.
The first two lines are straight from crystal lane swift. The rest is good.
Drop the word "Secret" from the title. The Garden of Eden isn't exactly secret, especially considering the earth's entire human population at the time knew about it.
Really great.
I think you mean "Broken", not "Boken", but I could be wrong. Also, "country's" instead of "countrys".
Have you read E. Annie Proulx's short story "Brokeback Mountain"? It offers an interesting theory as to why cowboys are a dying breed.
I don't understand. So your way of living life to its fullest is to avoid even the possibility of giving a real answer?
Silly.
unknown^user hasn't written about anybody or anybody's world. That much should be obvious. Besides, I don't get Law & Order in my world (though I do, Alhamidulillah, get a watered-down 'Daily Show' about once a week). I dissed you because your poems are the most consistently essay-like on poemranker. About half the time, they're the most user's-manual-like, actually.
I like this a lot, for its simplicity and sincerity. It's the 'cannot' that hurts somehow. It hurts the poem, is what I mean...
Faith
Sorry,'Fate'is what I mean
What I regret in your poems (which get high ratings, I saw) is your 'hang-up' on certain themes: 'faith', 'darkness', 'otherworld'. It's like you are afraid we won't grasp that the poem is about Faith, Darkness or the Otherworld. Your gothics (and basically any kind of poem) would be enhanced if you sought alternatives to these words.
And again, I dislike those capitals all throughout quite a lot...
Dear Mr Nentwined. Can poemranker spell seance properly?
Interesting. Starting out with a playful rhyme and then it gets all serious. I don't think it does the pet justice, though. do it again.
"Faith in the face of light" is the basis of all such hocus-pocus. I hope you mean this as satire.
He says its good because you've written about him, his world, no longer listening, indefinite, but still real. Hey, this really is good. I've raised my vote.
This is good. Don't listen to Dovina. Like she'd know.