| Re: The world's shortest poem by ALChemy |
sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244 |
6-Jun-05/5:35 PM |
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Short but meaningful. SOmetimes a few words (in this case 2) can really express the author's feeling well. This poem is a good example. Good!
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| Re: a comment on Always Forever by Princess_Snowflake |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
6-Jun-05/5:33 PM |
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I believe you are shouting at Princess Snowflake while looking at me. At least I hope so.
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| Re: The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote |
some deleted user 70.68.76.244 |
6-Jun-05/5:33 PM |
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I find this uninteresting. You should put more thought into it.
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| Re: Smoky Mountain High by Dovina |
some deleted user 70.68.76.244 |
6-Jun-05/5:32 PM |
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| Re: To you by sk8rs_rule_all |
some deleted user 70.68.76.244 |
6-Jun-05/5:32 PM |
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| Re: True Love by lil_evil_boi |
sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244 |
6-Jun-05/5:22 PM |
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You really described 'love' well. ANd the rhyming really emphasize the point. I think this is the best poem I have ever read since i registered on this website. Your work is thoughtful and I can see your ideas and thoughts in it. Bravo!
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| Re: Snow by lil_evil_boi |
sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244 |
6-Jun-05/5:20 PM |
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| Re: Where I'm From by lil_evil_boi |
sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244 |
6-Jun-05/4:57 PM |
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| Re: True Love by lil_evil_boi |
sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244 |
6-Jun-05/4:57 PM |
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Excellent...yet a few rough spots. Overall great~
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| Re: Heaven or Hell by lil_evil_boi |
sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244 |
6-Jun-05/4:56 PM |
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| Re: Best Friends by lil_evil_boi |
untamed_fierce 70.68.76.244 |
6-Jun-05/4:54 PM |
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OMG...i love your poems! More!
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| Re: Snow by lil_evil_boi |
untamed_fierce 70.68.76.244 |
6-Jun-05/4:54 PM |
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I like the rhyming of the poem. It really spice the poem up! Godd job.
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| Re: a comment on Smoky Mountain High by Dovina |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
6-Jun-05/4:50 PM |
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NASA people is what I mean
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| Re: a comment on Smoky Mountain High by Dovina |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
6-Jun-05/4:04 PM |
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And something else! Just because the sun has the same shape like one of Pamela Anderson's breasts is no proof that he is a she.
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| Re: a comment on Smoky Mountain High by Dovina |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
6-Jun-05/4:01 PM |
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Now wait a minute! This seems to be is a global and everlasting point of discussion. The moon (Luna) is female. So is our planet (Gaya). I've never heard of a female god representing the sun. Though I could be wrong about this. How do NSA people address the sun?
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| Re: a comment on Smoky Mountain High by Dovina |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
6-Jun-05/3:53 PM |
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'in orange afternoon'... well, you can't blame me for viddying a sun on his way to beddy-bed. I now see what you mean, but in the first part there is no hint at bushfires whatsoever. And to be honest, the reference in the second part escaped me as well. I saw the 'firestorm' as a metaphore. Don't ask me which one.
But don't put any more explanantories in, it's nice the way it is. (perhaps 'Smokey Mountain High' is a set phrase for burning hillsides?)
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| Re: he's leaving by eliznhaz |
some deleted user 81.69.23.196 |
6-Jun-05/3:32 PM |
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Such a bastard, I am.. Allright- let me show you what one can do with a subject like this.
'I am counting the days
I am waiting for the moment
when I'm going to have to stay in this place
where you will be
no longer
moving
moving away from me without
fading
I am counting your smiles
I already hunger for the ones
that soon will be gone except the one preserved
with photographical sharpness
in my mind
longing
longing already for the rest of you
crying'
If you're interested to know: it cost me 45 minutes, 3 revisions and 8 corrections and I made a mess of the rhyme. But nobody ever said that poetrywriting is easy.
By the way; one of La Gore's mid-sixty recordings was called 'Moving away'... I hope she won't drag me to court.
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| Re: Dovecote by zodiac |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
6-Jun-05/3:14 PM |
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The prodigious punctuation is distracting. Shorter lines with half as many : " , etc., would be more readable. It rambles too much for "free verse." Prose poem maybe. Still, a good story.
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| Re: a comment on Smoky Mountain High by Dovina |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
6-Jun-05/2:45 PM |
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The sun is rising, and although it will eventually descend and in so doing will appear to swell, the sun appears to shrink as it rises. Alliteration be dammed unless it fits the reality.
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| Re: a comment on Smoky Mountain High by Dovina |
Dovina 69.175.32.185 |
6-Jun-05/2:45 PM |
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Although DoubleU called the sun âhe,â for whatever reason, you should know from her shape that balls are inappropriate.
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