sacred_poet_me
on The world's shortest poem by ALChemy
6 Jun 2005, 5:35 PM
Short but meaningful. SOmetimes a few words (in this case 2) can really express the author's feeling well. This poem is a good example. Good!
I believe you are shouting at Princess Snowflake while looking at me. At least I hope so.
some deleted user
on The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote
6 Jun 2005, 5:33 PM
I find this uninteresting. You should put more thought into it.
I like it.
Enjoyable...
You really described 'love' well. ANd the rhyming really emphasize the point. I think this is the best poem I have ever read since i registered on this website. Your work is thoughtful and I can see your ideas and thoughts in it. Bravo!
WOW! I'm speechless!
Love it!
Excellent...yet a few rough spots. Overall great~
Spectacular...
OMG...i love your poems! More!
I like the rhyming of the poem. It really spice the poem up! Godd job.
NASA people is what I mean
And something else! Just because the sun has the same shape like one of Pamela Anderson's breasts is no proof that he is a she.
Now wait a minute! This seems to be is a global and everlasting point of discussion. The moon (Luna) is female. So is our planet (Gaya). I've never heard of a female god representing the sun. Though I could be wrong about this. How do NSA people address the sun?
'in orange afternoon'... well, you can't blame me for viddying a sun on his way to beddy-bed. I now see what you mean, but in the first part there is no hint at bushfires whatsoever. And to be honest, the reference in the second part escaped me as well. I saw the 'firestorm' as a metaphore. Don't ask me which one.
But don't put any more explanantories in, it's nice the way it is. (perhaps 'Smokey Mountain High' is a set phrase for burning hillsides?)
Such a bastard, I am.. Allright- let me show you what one can do with a subject like this.
'I am counting the days
I am waiting for the moment
when I'm going to have to stay in this place
where you will be
no longer
moving
moving away from me without
fading
I am counting your smiles
I already hunger for the ones
that soon will be gone except the one preserved
with photographical sharpness
in my mind
longing
longing already for the rest of you
crying'
If you're interested to know: it cost me 45 minutes, 3 revisions and 8 corrections and I made a mess of the rhyme. But nobody ever said that poetrywriting is easy.
By the way; one of La Gore's mid-sixty recordings was called 'Moving away'... I hope she won't drag me to court.
The sun is rising, and although it will eventually descend and in so doing will appear to swell, the sun appears to shrink as it rises. Alliteration be dammed unless it fits the reality.
Although DoubleU called the sun âhe,â for whatever reason, you should know from her shape that balls are inappropriate.