Dovina
on JUST A FEW by rbooey
8 Jul 2005, 9:05 PM
I thought I knew who MUM was until the end. Weird.
Zing!
Tremendously flattering comments. Thank you.
Interesting.
I can totally see that.
It's not political, except as belief in a higher power is. The vagueness is intentional, because the narator is questioning his beliefs, wondering if something more is in charge.
it feels political.
itâs vague. I like vague shit Iâm the
king of vagueness. the last word reprehensible.
it feel like. what we donât know wont hurt us
but itâs bad. like the means justify the ends.
Then pandemic is not here yet, and the first line needs help.
Avian Flu. H5N1
Itâs strange but I feel guilty. The kind of guilt one might feel after reading someoneâs diary.
This work is so personal, so strong. It should be rolled up and tied up with the small red string that she left for you in that box. Thereâs more to say but I canât.
Thank You.
Too many words, and not carefully chosen. "safely wallowing in safety" for example.
Then what do you think it's about, if not sex?
Why continue in verse 3 with the bus? It seems to cloud a good start. And the break between verses 1 and 2 seems wrong.
I knew as soon as I clicked. that sentence was wrong.
I know youâre deeper then that.
and Iâm not consumed with sex..
I like it. but not consumed.
If you refer to the London attacks, there's no need to tell the world; they know. If you mean that the world reacts too slowly, then I say we react fast enough, just with impotence.
Do you infer sexual desire even in this? Is everything you read a symbol of physical placement within some canal â birth or excretion? Iâm not angry. Itâs just pathetically humorous.
"Here's a naked-necked girl laughing
in a square, thumbnail sawing an orange-skin.
How grey and soft-bodied, these! "
Vivid image. I can smell the tang.
Yes.