Thank'ya young'un. If an 8 is "awsome" then a 10 for you must be downright orgasmic. Sadly I've never read a poem that's done the latter for me yet. By the way I looked up your spelling of "awsome" and it's actually excepted as a word. Ironically "thank'ya" is not.

It still comes off as love between you and something (city or woman or whatever) and the bullet wounds and other more subtle things imply war even if it's some kind of metaphor. You humanized a city but left pretty much no clue to us geographically challenged that it was a city you were talking to. Unless different interpretations is what your going for it's not necessarily a good thing. I still like its melodic qualities.

Go to http://www.eliteskills.com/writing_scams/poetry.com.scam.php for more info. It also gives a list of other famous writer scams. Don't feel bad. I submitted. Hell, it was free and they give you that letter to show off to gullible women who like poets. So far no proof that these women exist though. My suggestion: Hurry up and delete your poem here and resubmit it sans comments.

OK, I feel the need to tell you that Poetry.com is a scam. Well, not really...you'll get your book but know this...it's not going to be sold at your local Barnes & Noble. They publish everybody that wants to be published. They give awards to everybody that pays them. So, save your money, pal. If you've already paid..well keep the book on the coffee tabls, tell women you're a published poet and get some ass out of it.

Oh, come one, you know you saw the word tits and instantly got a hard-on.

I don't think you're interpreting it as I meant it..but that's a good thing if there's different interpretations.

It's a city in Australia.

It's not actually Christian. And it's being published by Poetry.com in a book called Eternal Portraits.

Not me. I'm more than happy for you and your Christian poetry publication fans. No really though who published it? Trust me I'm not the one you should be readying for but maybe you'll luck out.

Originally it was written with a sleep/death comparison. Mega cliche huh? I'm just too damn lazy to change more than two lines at a time I guess. It seems like whenever I start a sonnet I get all preachy in the end. I actually think the Jesus of your dreams idea is a good way to describe your dream self. You may be right though that it seems forced into this poem. Probably because it was.

Do your worst. I'm ready for you.

No real arguement from me on this one... Ok. Did you recover from your shock induced heart attack. I think rap is a little closer to what strait out liturature poetry is than the more music driven forms. So it seems to be the one most commonly agued nowadays. I saw two poets aguing it on CSPAN's Book TV and I thought the same thing. Duh. The internet has revived poetry as written word somewhat but soon that will fade away also. Like a slow draining of water out of a fish's bowl. Just curious I guess were you guys think poetry is going to go next. Sorry that's another way over done topic. Nevermind. Don't mind me I'm a little buzzed on cough syrup right now. I appologize again profusely.

I noticed you still didn't drop the apostrophe from dictates.