Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	zodiac 213.186.183.100	15-Oct-05/5:46 AM
An almost certain way to get you off-topic is to state the exact topic we're discussing, with concommitant questions and prompts. I suppose you're afraid of being tied down. I think at this point you're just still not getting it because you're helpless about such things. You probably don't even remember exactly what this conversation's about. DOVINA 10-Oct-05/1:32 AM: We have faith in God because we are built to have such faith. ZODIAC 10-Oct-05/11:08 AM: By whom are people built to have faith? DOVINA 10-Oct-05/12:00 PM: Maybe pure evolution. ZODIAC 10-Oct-05/12:14 PM: Evolution didn't build us. ZODIAC 10-Oct-05/12:47 PM: And what's the point of saying that anyway? DOVINA 14-Oct-05/5:52 PM: Blaaaaaaaat.
Re: Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis. by SupremeDreamer	zodiac 213.186.183.100	15-Oct-05/5:38 AM
That's the thing about self-love, isn't it? It's hard to find an audience as interested as you are.
Re: a comment on Rocky Road by Dovina	zodiac 213.186.183.100	15-Oct-05/5:37 AM
I did come one, eventually, but nothing makes me instantly get a hard-on.
Re: a comment on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil	zodiac 213.186.183.100	15-Oct-05/5:22 AM
Ask yourself if the reason you think rap is closer to literature poetry is because it simply has MORE WORDS than other musical forms. Yeah, I thought so too, then a bunch of rappers disagreed.
Re: Figment by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	15-Oct-05/5:10 AM
I see the idea now but when I first read it, it sounded like an amateur magician.
Re: a comment on The End by Caducus	Caducus 62.173.88.59	15-Oct-05/4:58 AM
Glad too. The author of ten nibs are her fingers stroking me through making love. Writing/Carving a memory which scarred. This poem is a typical example of locking the door while you write so you are not interrupted. Flawed because of it but thanks for the negs and positve comments -one i wil have to revisit.
Re: Was Everyone Put On This Earth For A Reason by cabot	oneglove 71.14.74.101	14-Oct-05/2:56 PM
yeah the spelling and grammer is a big problem, it's distracting from the rest of the poem, which is alright.
Re: monday v2 by ay deee	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	14-Oct-05/1:05 PM
Are you man or woman? Because I've never heard of women being drafted but on the other hand you wear a skirt. Maybe your just Scottish.
Re: 3312 by D P Robertson	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	14-Oct-05/12:55 PM
verbal diarrhoea (or diarrhea to us blue collar folk) and Rainman may be things atributed to some of your other poems but not this one. Good job.
Re: Cycles In Circles - Shame by D P Robertson	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	14-Oct-05/12:46 PM
I think we all get it. Your recycling words. Now shut up already. I'm guessing you read Poe so read his essays on composition in poetry. He'll tell you to make your point quickly and not to waste the readers time. If you write something this long it should at least tell a somewhat coherent and interesting story. You took a nice stab at it though. Actually 126 stabs.
Re: It’s getting dark by Prince of Void	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	14-Oct-05/12:30 PM
Your use of fragmented sentences is obtuse. "an eye" Unless your making some obscure reference to the movie A.I. which I doubt.
Re: Creatures That Crawl To Me by D P Robertson	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	14-Oct-05/12:17 PM
Nice stab at Poe like verse but the poem goes absolutely nowhere. "Caverns of creatures crawl". One too many on the alliteration. You can get away with that more with softer sounding vowels, as in "While I wondered weak and weary". Harder sounding vowels will start to sound like tounge twisters. Good job staying true with the meter.
Re: muted muffability by calliope	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	14-Oct-05/11:59 AM
Holy cow! I hope you don't have halitosis when someone has to hear you read this to him or her.
Re: I Can't Believe He Killed Her by jessicazee	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	14-Oct-05/11:52 AM
The "!" after "happy" sounds kinda crazy. Since when can't ghosts talk? Usually they aren't heard but...
Re: The End by Caducus	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	14-Oct-05/11:44 AM
First two lines don't make sense to me (Please explain) and you carry the metaphor for 3 verses and then abandon it for something completely different. Should you lose the last line of S4? -Yes and also all of S4 and S5. Save most of S4 though for another poem. There's some good stuff in it. When every line in the first 3 stanzas are the same metaphor your kinda stuck with it and you got to stay with it. Did you mean "Seppuku"? Some real good lines in it though.
Re: Was Everyone Put On This Earth For A Reason by cabot	Niphredil 192.115.60.89	14-Oct-05/11:38 AM
Please, check your spelling and grammar. I've counted at least 10 problems that need to be fixed (and that's including words like don't and won't which should really be apostrophized).
Re: Creatures That Crawl To Me by D P Robertson	Dovina 209.247.222.81	14-Oct-05/11:15 AM
A dream of redundant fears. Could be a lot shorter, but maybe you wanted to stress the recurrance.
Re: Midnight Questions by TLRufener	Dovina 209.247.222.81	14-Oct-05/11:11 AM
I answered in the negative or with unconcern to most of your questions, but "How many people would mourn you and cry?" is worthy of thought.
Re: I Can't Believe He Killed Her by jessicazee	Dovina 209.247.222.81	14-Oct-05/10:59 AM
And maybe he didn't. The sister coming along late in the poem - ok, but confusing. Comma after "I think." Good overall.
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	Dovina 209.247.222.81	14-Oct-05/10:52 AM
For the gazillionth time, evolution is a theory that explains observations. It may not be the only theory that explains them, but it works much of the time. So, it's a good theory til something better coimes along. I hope you will at least agree with this. I think at this point you're just being antagonistic for its own sake.