Re: a comment on There is a journey tree by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	17-Oct-05/10:43 AM
You can stand in the middle of a stream or shallow river just ask fly fisherman. Come on your really nit-pickin' with the whole strung together phrase thing. But if you make a suggestion that maintains the rhythm of the poem I'll be very greatful. One would imagine logically that both river and falls end in a sea of fire. It relates to journeys because it's at the end of the journey for those who make it to the tree, because its where you would want to be. Sorry about the lack of punctuation and waterfall misspelling. The birds can represent a lot of things but originally the idea came from noticing how simular doves and pigeons are and yet how differently their percieved and treated. The exchange of feathers being the desolving of this illusion between the two. PS: If you take the personified meanings of the birds it becomes sort of a critique saying that the innocent and the gullable aren't so far off from each other. I thought more symbolic or fictional than hypothetical. Hypothetical tends to imply a realistic situation to me. I was inspired to write this when one day I saw a tree standing in the middle of a stream. I made it a river to make the tree appear more powerful. The rest is just metaphor for a story that in itself was a metaphor for a story (Not that you needed or even wanted to know that). I look foward to your tutelage.
Re: a comment on monday v2 by ay deee	ay deee 204.90.50.252	17-Oct-05/8:27 AM
i wear a skirt?
Re: a comment on monday v2 by ay deee	ay deee 204.90.50.252	17-Oct-05/8:27 AM
are you sleepy? can you be specific? was the first version better?
Re: a comment on Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim	Bobjim 143.167.177.15	17-Oct-05/8:24 AM
As I said above, I actually started with the title. And I agree with you, I never thought this one was much good. I just couldn't get the wording right.
Re: a comment on Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim	Bobjim 143.167.177.15	17-Oct-05/8:21 AM
Thanks for the warning. I wasn't going to buy it anyway.
Re: There is a journey tree by ALChemy	Niphredil 192.115.60.89	17-Oct-05/4:49 AM
I don't feel that the dove and the pigeon make any contribution to the theme. My questions are, why pigeon? Why dove (and please, let it not be purity and peace, cause that's way too hackneyed...) and what is the significance of exchanging feathers?
Re: There is a journey tree by ALChemy	zodiac 212.118.19.4	17-Oct-05/3:08 AM
I'm pretty sure it's impossible to stand amidst one thing. If you've just got to stand amidst, it'll have to be amidst parted waters or something such, and who wants to do that? Also, waterfalls should just be waterfall. Or it should have brinks. I'm confused, does the waterfalls ends in a sea of fire, or the river? At any rate, it's too many strung-together phrases: the tree that's amidst the river that's at the falls that end in fire. Split them up, make some new sentences. I don't understand how the tree relates to (and presumably helps) journeys. Apparently it STOPS people from journeys to the bottoms of the falls. Rivers in "rivers rage" should have an apostrophe, probably before the s. Some regular sentence punctuation would help to. If you're having trouble deciding where, try writing it out in paragraph format and seeing where it doesn't make sense. I thought the birds exchanging feathers was striking though. I have know idea what they mean. Responding to your and Dovina's comments, the refuge you're talking about is the hypothetical itself, so of course the tree doesn't fall.
Re: Sleep It All Away by somemorepoetry	zodiac 212.118.19.4	17-Oct-05/1:48 AM
I'd try not to rhyme "glass" and "glass" in stanza 2. Other than that, kind of said-before. Some of it's a little touching, but not "Blue Bayou" touching.
Re: a comment on I don't rhyme enough, eh? by Niphredil	zodiac 212.118.19.4	17-Oct-05/1:41 AM
http://unix.cc.wmich.edu/~cooneys/poems/Scott.Lochinvar.html
Re: Was Everyone Put On This Earth For A Reason by cabot	zodiac 212.118.19.4	17-Oct-05/1:39 AM
We weren't put here, we just all happened to be here at roughly the same time.
Re: a comment on Waking at night by Niphredil	zodiac 212.118.19.4	17-Oct-05/1:32 AM
Ha. The word "bland" seems too bland. Game, set, match.
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	zodiac 212.118.19.4	17-Oct-05/1:30 AM
Firstly, something like "I hope I can poop today, it's been so long" is not a prayer. Nor is it necessarily related to faith in some higher power. Nor is it true or even remotely supportable that "Any human being has prayed for help at least once in his life", nor is it true that the structure of every hope is essentially a prayer, "Please, let X happen". Nor is it true or proveable that an animal leaving its den doesn't think, to the extent it's capable of thinking, "I hope a hawk doesn't eat me." It is, however, probably true that faith developed as a result of hope. When life or death depended on, say, rain falling at a certain time or there not being a drought, people made up physical manifestations of their hopes of not dying, with backstories and other semiunrelated powers. All of this and all of the preceding conversation, of course, hinge on there not having been at any point in history a voice from the sky telling people to have faith. Given that this doesn't even come under discussion here unless I, the best atheist of all of you, drag it in, I proclaim us all spectacularly unqualified to discuss any of this. In addition, the inevitable next phase of this conversation, "Don't atheists really have FAITH that God DOESN'T EXIST?", should be avoided at all costs, lest we all actually do go blind from stupidity.
Re: The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	zodiac 212.118.19.4	17-Oct-05/1:20 AM
Forgive me. I'll recharacterize. DOVINA: Saying that something is made by evolution gives it importance because it says that it fits a theory. Therefore it's understandable. For example, evolution, the theory designed to explain the development of faith (among other things), can explain the development of faith. ZODIAC: That's totally ridiculous. In addition, if either faith or evolution were COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from what they are now, the theory designed to explain them would still explain them. That wouldn't make the hypothetical nonfaith or nonevolution any more important. In addition, the real reason claiming evolution gives faith importance is by making it outside of our control, it's in our natures, like reproduction or fattiness. Why don't you respond to that? DOVINA: Blaaaaaat.
Re: a comment on Rocky Road by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.4	17-Oct-05/1:12 AM
Don't be. You do the job as well as, to name a few, velveeta cheese, Lisa Kudrow, or poking myself repeatedly in the eye with a pen. It's not a distinguished category.
Re: a comment on Figment by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.4	17-Oct-05/1:09 AM
Dovina's magic - CROWD: You're not levitating. You're just standing there. DOVINA: Blaaaaat.
Re: monday v2 by ay deee	Tintagiles 198.164.201.17	16-Oct-05/10:42 PM
Yawn yawn yawn.
Re: a comment on never visit a diner twice by Bill Z Bub	Tintagiles 198.164.201.17	16-Oct-05/10:37 PM
Agreed.
Re: Was Everyone Put On This Earth For A Reason by cabot	Tintagiles 198.164.201.17	16-Oct-05/10:32 PM
We were put on this earth to fertilise it with our bodies once we are dead.
Re: Sleep It All Away by somemorepoetry	Tintagiles 198.164.201.17	16-Oct-05/10:31 PM
Whien whine whine sentimentality.
Re: Downside by Miggy	Tintagiles 198.164.201.17	16-Oct-05/10:29 PM
'You had your runs with...' I'll take o'er -=Dark_Angel=-'s comment. Change to 'You had the runs because of' and it might be all right.