Re: a comment on Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac	Dovina 69.175.32.104	21-Oct-05/9:54 AM
The last sentence is understandable after your edit. You fear religion because you fear conformity's crutch. You want it, but want also want the rogue; you're wild with a homebody bent. I'm surprised you're still married.
Re: a comment on Marriage by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	21-Oct-05/9:48 AM
Wow, I’m about to melt. Does this mean that you’ll raises my desires above yours, every time, every day, knowing that anything less is fleeting and doomed? Just kidding.
Re: a comment on Marriage by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	21-Oct-05/9:39 AM
If, I DOVINA, were to agree to be a servant and self-negator, it would not be to some jerk self-centered master. The whole point of this discourse is to say that if I marry the perfect man, and at some later time he becomes a jerk, my committment will still hold. I will not can him because he is no longer desirable to me. Do you see that?
Re: Leg by jessicazee	zodiac 217.144.7.195	21-Oct-05/9:38 AM
Wow, sexy. Now I'm all like, (chugachugachugachugachugachugachugachugachugachuga) - She's got legs... (chugachugachugachugachugachugachugachugachugachuga) ...and she kno-ows how to use them...
Re: The Marble Me by PsydewaysTears	zodiac 217.144.7.195	21-Oct-05/9:35 AM
I thought from the title this was going to be awful. Then the goth-pop came in and I saw the marble was actually a, you know, shooting marble. Ace. -10-
Re: How often? by little_big_nose	zodiac 217.144.7.195	21-Oct-05/9:33 AM
Have you ever heard of the question mark? If you're going to be asking questions, it's the only way to go.
Re: a comment on Marriage by Dovina	zodiac 217.144.7.195	21-Oct-05/9:19 AM
Have you gone momentarily epileptic? I didn't say anything about marriage depending on anything except that each party in the marriage know and agree to both parties' roles. If YOU, DOVINA, were to agree to be a servant and self-negator, YOU, DOVINA, would find plenty of guys who'd agree to be masters and self-centered. I personally would rather die than have it that way, but I think it can make a lasting marriage. As lasting as any other kind.
Re: God's Angels by _iamtwilight_	little_big_nose 163.153.198.87	21-Oct-05/5:54 AM
Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children. Your daughter is out there on the streets waiting for you.
Re: plants grow from caskets by skaskowski	little_big_nose 163.153.198.87	21-Oct-05/5:51 AM
Why would god make you "brown and bloody, bone exposed", and is there a reason it's only your foot, or does god just hate your foot?
Re: love shall set you free by stacylynn_3	little_big_nose 163.153.198.87	21-Oct-05/5:48 AM
someone needs a hug!!!!!
Re: Marriage by Dovina	Caducus 172.201.235.165	21-Oct-05/5:10 AM
I like the thoughts in this poem they are well written and orchestrated and though a mere opinion of one a damn eloquent one at that. This in my humble opinion is one of your strongest - its very good. Its also a good piece to do open mic.
Re: a comment on Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac	<~> 167.206.181.179	20-Oct-05/1:50 PM
suggestion: I want to tell you I fear falling into religion--just for a scaffold of proper nouns, greetings, expansive gestures; to be as-one with these waiting women--pause, glance knowingly at a departure lounge ceiling loudspeaker, and hear. does that mean what you're looking for?
Re: a comment on Marriage by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	20-Oct-05/12:47 PM
It applies to all marriages. I believe that in trying to right a wrong, you have written a wrong. Pity.
Re: a comment on Marriage by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	20-Oct-05/12:41 PM
When you say that success in marriage depends on being a servant and self-negator, you negate all you said previously, and agree with me.
Re: The nymph steals the farm-son by <~>	Caducus 172.201.235.165	20-Oct-05/9:23 AM
I want lines 5 and 8 - lathe wonderful use of it too.
Re: Farm animals by INTRANSIT	Niphredil 192.114.44.162	20-Oct-05/6:57 AM
This is a beautiful poem; I love it more each subsequent read. However, I don't really think this is a 'ghazal' by definition, at least by the links on this site. The opening couplet doesn't rhyme (or does it?), and the last lines of each couplet definitely don't rhyme.
Re: a fat man on the dock by ay deee	zodiac 212.38.134.51	20-Oct-05/2:33 AM
Again, a good poem, minus the line that tries to fit in everywhere and never quite succeeds. That line is Jesus, we're mere mortals.
Re: final act by <~>	zodiac 212.38.134.51	20-Oct-05/2:30 AM
I like everything except the word "criminal". I'm foggy on the details, but isn't self-mutilation/suicide actually illegal? So it really IS criminal, not just metaphorically so. If it's not illegal, it still doesn't seem like the best word. I mean, hari-kari (or hari-kari-type mutilation) isn't the first thing that strikes me when I think of the word "criminal". I'd like to see it keep with the street performance theme with a more mutilation-specific or street-performance-specific word. Catburglar fits with "stealing self" but doesn't fit with suicide. Escape artist, maybe? What about those Indian performers? They do stuff like this. Don't let my rambling detract from the fact that I loved reading this. -10-
Re: final act by <~>	Tintagiles 142.166.239.85	19-Oct-05/11:16 PM
Ah, ye gods, ye haven't changed. Wonderful. Where have you been, anyway? Methinks I've rather missed you, Tilde.
Re: Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac	Tintagiles 142.166.239.85	19-Oct-05/11:15 PM
Hmm. Not my style, but that doesn't mean I can't notice its quality -- a fact a lot of people forget.