Re: a comment on A Modern Woman by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	25-Nov-05/4:27 AM
I've had a lot of reasons for not sleeping with a girl. Stupidity was never one of them. God I'm such a stereotype.
Re: The Dreamhole by cyan9	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	25-Nov-05/4:19 AM
It does sound like a lyric, doesn't it. Pretty catchy one too.
Re: a comment on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	25-Nov-05/4:11 AM
Thanks. I'm trying a different approach to writing poetry.
Re: a comment on The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	25-Nov-05/4:09 AM
Poe's or your's? (har-har) You're right of course. It's too focused on one aspect right now. I only wrote it just today and I knew I'd need to broaden it. I just wasn't sure it was worth the bother. It all started with something you said about words you keep on your refrigerator. I did my own version of that and decided on a topic and set out to use at least a few of them in the poem. I chose the worm for these reasons: A conqueror, underground activity, biblical reference, drills into the ground, shiftyness and for the "W". The worm isn't death in this poem although he brings it. The worm is "W". I just can't think of anything yet that fits him better. Once agian I agree with you. There's not enough twists and turns in the road this poem takes. What was your interpretation of the poem's meaning? I wasn't sure if I was being too vague or not enough.
Re: Colorbars by wilco	cyan9 217.40.63.105	25-Nov-05/3:20 AM
Absolutely superb.
Re: The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy	cyan9 217.40.63.105	25-Nov-05/3:18 AM
In a different league to the rest.
Re: i dream in nine minute increments by ay deee	zodiac 81.10.122.113	25-Nov-05/1:40 AM
"all kinds of guns waving in the air" and "explaining how my arm hurts" are really weak lines. The rest is pretty good.
Re: Derrick Holmes by rahson_s	zodiac 81.10.122.113	25-Nov-05/1:36 AM
I like the style. There's a bunch of missing punctuation and randomly capitalized words, and 'addiction' is misspelled, but the half-rhymes are really cool. I kind of wish this was a little more meaningful than a book report.
Re: O dear. by celticskatermatt1	zodiac 81.10.122.113	25-Nov-05/1:31 AM
I predict you're not going to care what we say about this poem. Good for you. You'll show us.
Re: The mountain has come to Mohammed by ALChemy	zodiac 81.10.122.113	25-Nov-05/1:28 AM
I like the music references. What I don't like is using the worm so much. There's already a great poem with that image, you need to add something, a strong image of your own.
Re: Colorbars by wilco	zodiac 81.10.122.113	25-Nov-05/1:26 AM
The best of your lyrics I've read. My only suggestions are drop 'serenade' and keep the last verse more naturalistic, like the others.
Re: The Dreamhole by cyan9	zodiac 81.10.122.113	25-Nov-05/1:22 AM
This would be good by Keane doing British pop doing Radiohead.
Re: a comment on Us Sinners by BrandonW	zodiac 81.10.122.113	25-Nov-05/1:18 AM
No, on second thought, let's let it all go.
Re: a comment on A Modern Woman by Dovina	zodiac 81.10.122.113	25-Nov-05/1:12 AM
Obviously I can't stop you from believing such colossal stupidity, but I'd like to suggest that you not share it with other people lest they get the idea that you're stupid and don't sleep with you.
Re: a comment on Us Sinners by BrandonW	zodiac 81.10.122.113	25-Nov-05/1:04 AM
Don't let it all go. Just let the part where you're always accusing me of classifying go.
Re: Due Consideration by Dovina	zodiac 81.10.122.113	25-Nov-05/1:02 AM
Here's a perfect example: REASON: Dovina might be slightly racist. DOVINA'S BELIEFS: Nooooooooooo!
Re: a comment on Due Consideration by Dovina	zodiac 81.10.122.113	25-Nov-05/1:01 AM
All my decisions are based on reason. My unreasonable decisions are based on an admittedly imperfect application of reason. Guess that's the end of this conversation.
Re: a comment on A Modern Woman by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	25-Nov-05/12:33 AM
I think your subject is a great one and you should work on this till you hit on something big. I want you to surprise me with things I've never heard from any woman. Tell me the thoughts of women 50 years from now. This is my challenge to you. If you meet it I'll give you a "You go girl" and declare women the superior sex.
Re: Divorcing Tennessee by Dovina	some deleted user 204.97.18.217	24-Nov-05/9:41 PM
A great poem about loss. I live in the north east and can identify with "the delicious sadness of fall." Good job!
Re: a comment on A Modern Woman by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	24-Nov-05/9:05 PM
Our grandmothers did those things, and some did them as well or better than modern women. But they were the special ones. I think the big change in the last twenty years is attitude. Maybe I didn’t say it well in the poem, but we can no longer rest in old expectations of frailty and excusable lack of integrity, but are expected to act professionally in our dress-for-success attire, and to work the project with constantly sensible demeanor. We like to say we accomplish this, but I’m asking whether success at it is too costly and whether a more feminine businesswoman is really more successful.