Re: Coventry nights by Caducus	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Mar-06/7:24 AM
Cardiff's no better. Some nasty connotations there in 'kebab meat gorged by kebab meat'. Line 6 - 'black scab'? Pretty cool, very patriotic. I share your sentiments.
Re: a comment on 3/12/06 by cronus	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Mar-06/7:21 AM
'Have you ever stood in the way of harm...?' Yes - my 'conversations' with poetandknowit are testament to that! But then again, I was young and foolish...(what's changed?) Anyway, I've read through your stuff and I like your style, you write pretty well - but you always seem to struggle for comments. I really think that with feedback from the top poets here (most of whom are always around to comment) you could do well. Try posting feedback on other peoples' poems and you'll get plenty in return!
Re: a comment on 3/12/06 by cronus	cronus 69.119.168.109	16-Mar-06/6:57 AM
The last stanza was written more in the sense of bile, but I can see your point about it having many comic interpretations :) Have you ever stood in the way of harm, not because you had good reason, but because pride didn't allow any other option? That was the mood I was in when I wrote this. What I was actually thinking is anyone's guess.
Re: a comment on There by Dovina	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	16-Mar-06/6:20 AM
You are like Gary Glitter's cock. You know what you are about to do is stupid and shouldn't be done but yet you still keep poking your head up to take a good slapping.
Re: a comment on There by Dovina	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	16-Mar-06/6:17 AM
"Your entire life is a moral and intellectual abdication." is the best comment on the whole of poemranker about Dovina.
Re: Judged by Dovina	Caducus 86.144.226.63	16-Mar-06/3:40 AM
I cant help thinking the title for this should be 'Clint Eastwood Moments'. This has some quality concise images in the first stanza but s6 read like you were struggling compared to the other assured stzas
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	15-Mar-06/7:43 PM
Yes, you are able to handle things on your own. But God forbid, if anything was to happen to you or lets say, your wife....something drastic... irreversible, probably like an accident or a serious illness..... how long will you be able to hold on. I'd say as long as you have all the cash in your pocket that you need. And after that? What about your peace of mind, and say things like guilt and remorse for not foreseeing things, feelings like this that might crop up..... how would you handle that. I don't think it would go very well with you. No man can handle stress under sever conditions and a human being is not made to handle extreme and sever pressure. Ther's a limit to everything. Even if you were to go on a long course of anti depressants and mood lifters you will not be able to hold on. Just because you have a rosy picture set for you, or that you have probably set, that doesn't mean that its a surety for future happiness. Think about it. P.S. I really enjoy these sharings. Hope you do too. After my last post up there, my husband and I had a strong discussion on this, quite contradictory opinions.... and now to return,.... I have a bone to pick with him also.
Re: a comment on Mango Pickle by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44	15-Mar-06/7:25 PM
Mango pickle is deliciously pungent. Yes chilly is also chili here, though spelt both ways here. As for fenugreek and asafoetida, they are used widely in Indian foods. Makes Indian dishes unique. And mango flesh IS white. When they're absolutely raw it's white and terribly sour. If you want to eat it raw, most often you have to with salt. When it's beginning to ripen it turns cream to pale yellow and then finally to a bright orange/yellow, and it sweetens also. Mango, coconut, jackfruit, breadfruit, papaya and plantains/bananas are our staple fruits. So I could describe them better if needed.
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	Dovina 67.72.98.93	15-Mar-06/4:05 PM
I am one who says that God seems to exist beyond all that. I cannot imagine god coming into existance within an already established framework of walls or rules or logic. Such a god would be like a satrap in ancient Persia, over whom another king rules, the King of kings. It's probably the source of the Biblical image "King of kings."
Re: a comment on The Hermit on the Thoroughfare by http://mulberryfairy	Ranger 62.252.32.15	15-Mar-06/2:59 PM
-=Dark_Angel=- could make that connection, I believe. "46 million babies a year" springs to mind. Cool poem, female trucker sprang to mind.
Re: Endless Battle by rahson_s	http://mulberryfairy 169.244.70.146	15-Mar-06/2:39 PM
I like the kind of manic feel of this, it makes it more convincing.
Re: Settling in by INTRANSIT	http://mulberryfairy 169.244.70.146	15-Mar-06/2:38 PM
nice, how about spring though? "its" should replace "it's"
Re: Settling in by INTRANSIT	Niphredil 132.69.238.221	15-Mar-06/11:09 AM
This is a beautifully musical poem, with different sounds and creaks to savor almost in every verse. Kudos for 'bwong', and cheers for the plumbing in vibrato! 'adoringly' jarred, I must agree. Maybe 'companionably', 'cheerfully' or something alond those lines would be more appropriate?
Re: Birthday by Dhanesh M Kumar	ecargo 167.219.88.140	15-Mar-06/8:44 AM
Clearer than some of your others. How is "a" morning dew moribund (on the point of death, but moribund also has the connotation of stagnancy, a lack of vitality, and dew, in contrast, changes to something else). Also that 'moribund' line isn't a complete thought, it just flops around limply. I think I see what you're saying here, but it seems a rather wordy way to say that age doesn't matter, and, yet, it does.
Re: a comment on Endless Battle by rahson_s	ecargo 167.219.88.140	15-Mar-06/8:35 AM
Yeah, really. Sometimes I wish it were more like Garageband.com--you have to give something to get something.
Re: Endless Battle by rahson_s	ecargo 167.219.88.140	15-Mar-06/8:30 AM
Don't want to be the punctuation police, but punctuation would help this, I think--make it more clear and accessible. It's got energy and a good narrative flow to it. Could tighten a few places (" . . . she penetrates my lies/and picks out truth: I lie too much, the damage has been done; I'm losing this battle with my pen." Maybe break there, too, and start a new line or stanza with "she knows me very well." Watch your cliches ("I'm living proof") and pay some attention to breaks, etc., and this could be even better.
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	ecargo 167.219.88.140	15-Mar-06/8:24 AM
And then there's Einstein's marvellous take on it all: “The fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion which stands at the cradle of true art and true science. He who knows it not and can no longer wonder, no longer feel amazement, is as good as dead, a snuffed-out candle. It was the experience of mystery — even if mixed with fear — that engendered religion. A knowledge of the existence of something we cannot penetrate, of the manifestations of the profoundest reason and the most radiant beauty, which are only accessible to our reason in their most elementary forms-it is this knowledge and this emotion that constitute the truly religious attitude; in this sense, and in this alone, I am a deeply religious man. I cannot conceive of a God who rewards and punishes his creatures, or has a will of the type of which we are conscious in ourselves. An individual who should survive his physical death is also beyond my comprehension, nor do I wish it otherwise; such notions are for the fears or absurd egoism of feeble souls. Enough for me the mystery of the eternity of life, and the inkling of the marvellous structure of reality, together with the single-hearted endeavour to comprehend a portion, be it never so tiny, of the reason that manifests itself in nature.” Works for me.
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	15-Mar-06/8:17 AM
Of course you can say that somehow he's beyond all that but then if that's the case the idea of even thinking of God at all is utterly ridiculous.
Re: a comment on Numbers In Heaven by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	15-Mar-06/8:13 AM
No they're not built at all. They're there by definition. Something that is something has to be what it is. If it changes to something else it's still what it is but what it is, is something else than what it was. If god is god and then he changes into something else then he's no longer god. So by being god he must be god and if he "chooses" to not be god then he won't be god. He's still governed by this logic as a rule. I'm guessing maybe this is what god means when he describes himself as "I am that I am".
Re: no title by mystic enoch	Ranger 62.252.32.15	15-Mar-06/7:50 AM
Be a little more inventive with the rhymes. 'It's hard not to get lost in them' - totally true.