| Re: a comment on Piano by Dovina |
Dovina 70.38.78.229 |
28-Mar-06/11:48 AM |
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Not your students, surely. Not unless they're like me.
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| Re: Sienna by oneglove |
Scarlett 70.171.72.141 |
28-Mar-06/11:47 AM |
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Softly sings of seasons, as if ladies twirling around in a dance and changing partners (that of winter and fall). Enjoyed this!
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| Re: Piano by Dovina |
Scarlett 70.171.72.141 |
28-Mar-06/11:44 AM |
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I smiled with this read and loved the ending especially. I used to teach piano and laughed to think students might agree with the ending of this one.
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| Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta |
Dovina 70.38.78.229 |
28-Mar-06/11:40 AM |
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| Re: a comment on Time Will Change by x0lovelylarnx0 |
x0lovelylarnx0 152.163.100.13 |
28-Mar-06/11:34 AM |
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You are so right. He said he was mature, but look it says right in his profile that he likes horny girls. I like that comment.
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| Re: a comment on Time Will Change by x0lovelylarnx0 |
x0lovelylarnx0 152.163.100.13 |
28-Mar-06/11:31 AM |
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I like your suggestion about the last line, but I will have to think over whether i want to change it or not. I also agree with you on the comments thing, but when I saw that 0 I just boiled.
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| Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta |
amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44 |
28-Mar-06/11:18 AM |
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I like you Al. Somehow you have a reference for almost anything. I've just critiqued your poem Buddy. I'm surprised you sent it as a reference.
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| Re: a comment on Buddy by ALChemy |
amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44 |
28-Mar-06/11:13 AM |
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I once made a god-proof hat
like the one worn by arafat
Now I work at 7-11s
my name's 007
and hijacking's what I'm at.
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| Re: Buddy by ALChemy |
amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44 |
28-Mar-06/11:09 AM |
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'For my master runs not a finger through my hair'... Hmmm a nice ending to a lovely description. You're an abandoned old soul waiting desperately for His attention! If only I could put the scene I have in mind into words!
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| Re: My Prayer by amanda_dcosta |
ALChemy 24.74.100.11 |
28-Mar-06/10:59 AM |
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Here's my challenge to you: Write a poem about God that never overtly mentions him or anything else that would be directly linked to the bible. Use metaphor or whatever you can think of to make it work. Here's an example: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=141306
I promise it will make your book that much better.
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| Re: Time Will Change by x0lovelylarnx0 |
amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44 |
28-Mar-06/10:55 AM |
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This is good. But I would rather you modify the last line a bit. Some thing like, 'if only you will let him in.'
As for comments, ignore what might bother you. Let each one have their say, as long as you stand your ground.
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| Re: a comment on Time Will Change by x0lovelylarnx0 |
amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44 |
28-Mar-06/10:54 AM |
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Garrett, I always wonder why people get so jittery when they hear the word 'God'. Why not 'babes' or war or life or anything else. Why God? Maybe you could give me some insight on this, the 'OH and the use of God, how apt!' remark coming from you. Nothing personal, but I'm a bit curious.
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| Re: a comment on Time Will Change by x0lovelylarnx0 |
ALChemy 24.74.100.11 |
28-Mar-06/10:46 AM |
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Of course you're not. In fact you're a "26(?) year old, intelligent, long haired, bohemian rhapsody currently living in a small hut just outside of Hastings, England. I don't work. I am not a conformist. I, like you, am artist, dreamer and revolutionary. Good looking fella, long blond hair, tats and piercings, likes horny girls." Which is all the more reason you should like campbellsoupgrl09. Why not put on some of that English charm we hear about in the states all the time. You don't always have to be Sid Vicious.
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| Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta |
amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44 |
28-Mar-06/10:30 AM |
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dear friend drnick,... I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is me. Praising God and calling on Jesus is my passion. He is reflected in almost every thing I write and I can't help it. So unless you pray hard, very hard for a change in my writing style, and themes, you won't get anything else from me. Sorry about this, but cheer up, there's a lot of poets to cater to your taste. I'm disappointed though that I might not be one of them.
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| Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta |
amanda_dcosta 203.145.159.44 |
28-Mar-06/10:25 AM |
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See Dovina, its easy to say that amazing grace is right in front of you. Buit to reach there, there's quite a lot of hurdles to pass through or rather, jump over. My spirit was just yearning to know what I aught to change inorder to reach there... perhaps I need more patience, or more of the gift of listening rather than talking too much, who knows, or perhaps, prayer. There's a lot of steps that a spiritual challenge calls for, steps we know we should take, like knowing that amazing grace is there, but not taking any action to reach there. And I do know that to grow spiritually, its a gradual change of life style for the better... one which needs daily inspiration and spiritual guidance. So the state of life I am in is not the ultimate, there's a lot of change needed for where I want to reach, and I'm serious about it.
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| Re: Rose by firestar_2580 |
Garrett S Sexton 86.130.240.60 |
28-Mar-06/9:58 AM |
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| Re: a comment on A look inside [someone real} by Garrett S Sexton |
Garrett S Sexton 86.130.240.60 |
28-Mar-06/9:51 AM |
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Revised for you. Happy. Wanker.
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| Re: a comment on Time Will Change by x0lovelylarnx0 |
Garrett S Sexton 86.130.240.60 |
28-Mar-06/9:39 AM |
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| Re: a comment on A look inside [someone real} by Garrett S Sexton |
ALChemy 24.74.100.11 |
28-Mar-06/8:10 AM |
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Only if you "sqoeeze" your eyes real tight.
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| Re: Old Friend by drnick |
ecargo 167.219.88.140 |
28-Mar-06/7:24 AM |
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Reads like lyrics sans chorus. Not bad. Last verse doesn't scan right.
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