Re: a comment on Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	god'swife 71.103.98.44	28-Mar-06/6:58 PM
That poem's a piece of crap. Then it should be 'let your'. Also it should be 'fate befalls'
Re: a comment on Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	28-Mar-06/6:53 PM
Ya know I almost titled it "The Solar Eclipse" but I didn't want to confuse the meaning of the poem with something that wasn't stormy. (See my explanation above)
Re: a comment on Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	28-Mar-06/6:49 PM
Never?: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=106747 The moon is not the child, the sun is. The moon is me. The sun is my niece. Her parents are on the verge of divorce. Her and her brother just found out today and I spent the day consoling them while their parents yelled at each other in the other room. The Sun and moon metaphor is a continuation of the one in this poem: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=136338
Re: a comment on To Michelle by ALChemy	god'swife 71.103.98.44	28-Mar-06/6:46 PM
If you want to write meaningful poetry, yes. If not, then no. I'm not saying it's neccessary, if you wan't to write "The Jabberwocky" well then go right ahead. But what's the point of writing if you're not expressing reality? History has plenty of melodramatic poetry from the 19th century, it doesn't need any more. Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Now if he's writing a book entitled Antiquities Of The Mind then he's on the right track.
Re: a comment on To Michelle by ALChemy	Dovina 70.38.78.229	28-Mar-06/6:36 PM
But surly not a zero's-worth. Contemporariness is not surely that important.
Re: To Michelle by ALChemy	god'swife 71.103.98.44	28-Mar-06/6:32 PM
Are you at all interested in your poetry reflecting contemporary life, or are you affecting the role of a dandy purposefully? This is foppish.
Re: Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	Dovina 70.38.78.229	28-Mar-06/6:29 PM
Very aptly timed considering tomorrow's total eclipse, where the moon will block the sun in Africa. They are saying pregnant women should not look at the spectical or their babies will be born with hair lips. And your poem is the stuff of myth, too. If you had written it three thousand years ago, it might have given birth to gods.
Re: Behind the storm clouds, the moon consoles the sun.(edited) by ALChemy	god'swife 71.103.98.44	28-Mar-06/6:28 PM
The first line is very good. The next two lines are awful. Never us 'though' in a poem. It's theatrical and steals sincerity from everything it touches. This reads like a children's picture book. The penultimate line has a good metaphor, the storm being drowned out by wine. But again it's to ostentatious. I never heard of the moon being referred to as a child. Please explain.
Re: A look inside [someone real} by Garrett S Sexton	god'swife 71.103.98.44	28-Mar-06/6:10 PM
Well if the point of this so called poem is not to impress anyone this one succeeds. That little bio you give at the end(ABOUT THE ARTIST)is much closer to being poetry ABOUT THE ARTIST Jamie & Josh have split for good though she clings. He has slowly but gently has pushed her away. No kith nor kin, and a mind not unlike a ten year old. It was BIZARRE then that she dumped him. He now, being a nice chap, had the perfect escape. She had cancer young, nearly died, so is clingy to Mum. However, Mum and 3 half sisters (all by different dads) treat her like Cinderella. It's still a piece of crap but at least it flows better and is more interesting. "It's still a good poem because it's real" How the hell did you come up with this absurd notion? You don't have the first idea about poetry. The first line about the pencil is good.
Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	28-Mar-06/5:36 PM
Shameless of me, wasn't it?
Re: a comment on Buddy by ALChemy	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	28-Mar-06/5:15 PM
It'll come to you soon enough. You'll see your symbol somewhere in something.
Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta	Dovina 70.38.78.229	28-Mar-06/2:43 PM
I don't think Mandy is trying to draw anyone into her Christianity. Maybe she is, but not in this poem. She tries to explain her condition (exposition) and admits that it lacks what she wants. I was comparing that to what Anne Sexton is showing in only one of her poems. I was not relating Amanda's life as a whole to Anne's life as a whole.
Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta	ecargo 167.219.88.140	28-Mar-06/2:15 PM
On what basis? Actually, this poem is quite different from much of Sexton's poetry. She's often much darker. This is one of the few poems among her collection, The Awful Rowing to God, that doesn't deal with her struggle to find peace and balance in her life. In the end, faith didn't save her from suicide. I'm not sure what you mean by "expositional" in this context. If it were more expositional and less vague and broad, I'd probably like it better. As a nonbeliever, there's nothing in Mandy's poem to draw me in.
Re: a comment on Piano by Dovina	Scarlett 66.210.233.6	28-Mar-06/2:09 PM
:) Nahhhh.. that was just a fun response, inspired by yours and an attempt to return the smiles. :)
Re: a comment on Piano by Dovina	Dovina 70.38.78.229	28-Mar-06/1:36 PM
Much better than mine. Go for it!
Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta	Dovina 70.38.78.229	28-Mar-06/1:34 PM
Welcome Morning by Anne Sexton There is joy in all: in the hair I brush each morning, in the Cannon towel, newly washed, that I rub my body with each morning, in the chapel of eggs I cook each morning, in the outcry from the kettle that heats my coffee each morning, in the spoon and the chair that cry "hello there, Anne" each morning, in the godhead of the table that I set my silver, plate, cup upon each morning. All this is God, right here in my pea-green house each morning and I mean, though often forget, to give thanks, to faint down by the kitchen table in a prayer of rejoicing as the holy birds at the kitchen window peck into their marriage of seeds. So while I think of it, let me paint a thank-you on my palm for this God, this laughter of the morning, lest it go unspoken. The Joy that isn't shared, I've heard, dies young. Anne Sexton revels in happy god-aspects of ordinary things in her life. Amanda could use her Goa experience to the same goal, but instead she is expositional and self-searching, but not proselytizing in my opinion. Both are good techniques. I don’t prefer either on that basis. I enjoy Anne Sexton. http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Cafe/1324/sexton.htm
Re: a comment on Piano by Dovina	Scarlett 66.210.233.6	28-Mar-06/1:03 PM
:) Whiskers caught between the keys sharpening claws on a flat note piano lid comes crashing down tail in trap, "Meow" she wrote
Re: a comment on My Prayer by amanda_dcosta	ecargo 167.219.88.140	28-Mar-06/12:30 PM
The two aren't mutually exclusive Mandy. I'm not saying write "something else." Whatever your faith, I assume you live with it when you're walking down the street, buying fish, cooking dinner, yelling at your kids, weeding the garden, pulling up your stockings--it's not something separate from that, is it? I doubt you get through your days and then think "well, okay, now it's Time for God! Yay!" Since you mentioned non-Christian reactions, I’ll give you mine. Poems like this, to me, read like the same old tired proselytizing. There’s no hook to draw me in. I think there are some fantastic religious poems: Anne Sexton’s “Welcome Morning” comes to mind (mainly because she weaves in the homey details that make it accessible and, even for a nonbeliever, relevant). I also think there’s a lot of awful religious poetry. And what makes most of it awful is that it comes off as smug and preachy. Whatever they may think, Christians have no more automatic peace of mind or insight than anyone else. What they may have is a different perspective. If you don’t make that perspective interesting and accessible, though, then you’ll only attract readers who already believe what you believe. Poetry is in the details. Good luck with your book.
Re: a comment on Piano by Dovina	Dovina 70.38.78.229	28-Mar-06/12:03 PM
"Why the Cats Stay Away from My Piano" by Scarlet They have no sense of rhythm, no ear for an E What they seek in a piano is fluffy, carefree They don't want to practice scales are a chore they need to be dropped in behind the black door Bad, okay.
Re: a comment on Piano by Dovina	Scarlett 70.171.72.141	28-Mar-06/11:53 AM
Lol.. I don't know if the students thought the monster was the piano or the teacher. When I greet my piano this afternoon, it will be with your poem in mind. Now I know why the cats stay away from it. *smiles* Truly enjoyed this write..