Re: Today could be the last day by cpill	Ranger 86.140.66.240	10-Jul-06/12:09 AM
Top stuff.
Re: Orca by Dovina	Ranger 86.140.66.240	10-Jul-06/12:07 AM
On the basis that I'm not going to make any crude puns based on de Fuca and whatever they're going off to do, this is tops. The only thing that I would change is 'stubby' - not because it's ineffective, but '-y' adjectives always seem a little vague to me. It's the same with '-ish'. They get the meaning across but don't really do anything for me image-wise. Anyway, that's a minor point. Your writing seems to be getting better and better with every post.
Re: Through a childs eyes by little_angel_maria	little_angel_maria 201.201.28.2	9-Jul-06/6:32 PM
ok thank you very much i appreciate all your good critics i love writting poetry and wish to get better at it
Re: limited knowledge, limited people by kaoriliveshere	kaoriliveshere 70.191.135.11	9-Jul-06/6:28 AM
I have say that in this poem I descided to rhyme. It is came out better then without rhyming. thank you guys! This poem is about Christopher columbus journey to Cuba help not to limit people's knowledge about the Earth. I hope you guys like it.
Re: of Arabia by ecargo	Ranger 86.131.56.78	8-Jul-06/10:09 PM
Hey ecargo, this is a flying early-morning visit so bear with me if I make no sense here. Breakfast, tea and poemranker - what a combination. Argh, and now I'm eating my own hair. Great. Anyhoo, I love this piece (first stanza of verse II in particular). A couple of questions though: line 6 I think should read 'Sheikh' (not certain that it has to be spelled that way though). Not sure that 'overture' fits quite right with the theme of the piece - to me it carries overbearing connotations of Western culture rather than Arabic. Also, is a far ridge sharp? I'd have pictured it as less so if it's in a desert setting (heat haze and all that jazz). Well, must go. Great read, will catch you later I hope. Peace.
Re: a comment on An Affair with Letters by MacFrantic	Dovina 70.38.78.229	8-Jul-06/5:53 PM
"The" clearly begins with a T, my mistake there. But other than a hodgpodge of supposed affairs, arranged around the alphabet. what is the point?
Re: a comment on An Affair with Letters by MacFrantic	MacFrantic 71.208.85.242	8-Jul-06/5:37 PM
I could possibly mean what the title plainly says. It's about affairs and "The Lord's untimely sinning" seems to suit an affair. Oh, and "The" does not begin with W. I see no point in your comment.
Re: An Affair with Letters by MacFrantic	Dovina 70.38.78.229	8-Jul-06/3:30 PM
What could you possibly mean by "The Lord's untimely sinning" besides something to rhyme with thinning and winning and starting with W? What point is there here?
Re: a comment on Joshua And Ruth by amanda_dcosta	Dovina 70.38.78.229	8-Jul-06/1:08 PM
Yes, and let me add: they remind us that if diapers are not changed promptly, the house smells like a Stephen Robins poem.
Re: a comment on Joshua And Ruth by amanda_dcosta	Dovina 70.38.78.229	8-Jul-06/1:04 PM
I kinda figured it was the smaller two, not the Biblical two. It's better to err on the side of dunce than snitch. As for the trials you describe as "hell," I know the word has been trivialized, but I have a high regard for words, especially strong words like "hell." it's ok to say "what the hell" in casual conversation, but to describe an experience as "hell" means it is pretty bad, terrible, like living in fire and not dying.
Re: Through a childs eyes by little_angel_maria	amanda_dcosta 202.164.141.93	8-Jul-06/10:18 AM
As I started reading the beginning of this poem I was immediately reminded of Phil Colin's song 'Another Day In Paradise'. I'm tempted to believe you took your story from there. Excuse me if I'm wrong. And I can't understand how conveniently this poor girl could suddenly find place during the day but at night she had none. Ref is to the line, 'this girl of the night cannot be seen so she finds somewhere to hide,' I am not overly impressed with your presentation. You have good potential at writing, and you need to polish your talent. Like Dovina has stated, shorten your lines and get the beat flowing. You'll be amazed by what you can do.
Re: a comment on Joshua And Ruth by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 202.164.141.93	8-Jul-06/10:07 AM
Thanks for the support Al.
Re: Joshua And Ruth by amanda_dcosta	ALChemy 209.23.202.76	8-Jul-06/2:45 AM
"Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not, for of such is the Kingdom of God." Children will always remind us of what really matters.
Re: a comment on Joshua And Ruth by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 202.164.141.93	8-Jul-06/1:52 AM
Thanks Dovina, I titled this poem 'Joshua and Ruth' because they are the inspiration behind this piece. Maybe hell is a little too harsh to be refered to, but in life many times we come across situations where we actually break down and call our lives a living hell. At these times it would be helpful to be in the presence of little children, for they can be the utmost comfort when you need it most.
Re: Joshua And Ruth by amanda_dcosta	Dovina 70.38.78.229	7-Jul-06/8:23 PM
I'm not sure why you call it Joshua and Ruth, unless they, too, had feelings like these. Probably they did. Anyway, it's these kinds of things that make the "hell," as you put it, worthwhile. But I think "hell" is too strong a word for the minor unhappinesses here.
Re: PHOTO by madamefrufru	ALChemy 209.23.202.76	7-Jul-06/11:18 AM
The last stanza seems a little strange but the rest is good. I like your unlikely word choices.
Re: a comment on Orca by Dovina	Dovina 70.38.78.229	7-Jul-06/11:17 AM
lol, by Job, you might have got it.
Re: Orca by Dovina	ALChemy 209.23.202.76	7-Jul-06/11:12 AM
He's going under to free Willy.
Re: a comment on Our Lady of the Rock by Zoe	Zoe 84.13.39.163	7-Jul-06/9:00 AM
OK fair enough thanks.
Re: a comment on Our Lady of the Rock by Zoe	Zoe 84.13.39.163	7-Jul-06/9:00 AM
Thanks I'll look over the stanzas you mention and try to improve. Maybe something like: To stretch above and yawn to wry brook-beds, is really watching him close. The bats squeal evening and night: always the flapping wings.