Re: I Have a Brain That Glows In the Dark by colbaby	Ranger 81.151.9.127	12-Sep-06/12:09 AM
I think Steve Irwin's untimely demise might have unhinged you. Fucking funny poems though :-D
Re: Flood Land, East Kentucky by zodiac	Ranger 81.158.78.100	11-Sep-06/9:49 AM
This demands several reads, awesome lines and a compelling story. I suck at accents and dialects, so I'll have to assume you've got it right, but that's not a difficult assumption to justify.
Re: Flood Land, East Kentucky by zodiac	ecargo 167.219.88.140	11-Sep-06/9:41 AM
Damn, you really are good. The dialect comes off as unforced and authentic (to my Yankee ear, it must be said--I guess the real test is how a Kentuckian would take it). Great details; restrained and, for that, quite moving pathos; all your usual magic. Even the meter works--alexandrines, for the most part, I guess? So much packed into such a short poem. Really well done.
Re: Wet dreams by ecargo	Ranger 81.158.78.100	11-Sep-06/9:38 AM
I found 'mother bulk' incredibly difficult to reconcile with the title...could just be me, I guess. Also, 'spray of sun' was difficult - although it's a lovely phrase - because of the earlier links with night (again, could just be me, I'm tired so bear with me ;-) ). The description is super and I do like the rhymes :-)
Re: Flood Land, East Kentucky by zodiac	Dan garcia-Black 67.72.98.45	11-Sep-06/9:36 AM
"old bottles that the river brung" and "all this from in the house, but it was not of us," sucked me under the house with the rest of the junk. You really are a poet, Damn You!
Re: The Clock and the Storm by cleverdevice	Ranger 81.158.78.100	11-Sep-06/9:23 AM
Excellent spelling! Have you gone back to Durham yet?
Re: Final Goregasm by creepshow	Ranger 81.158.78.100	11-Sep-06/9:21 AM
Are you a Jack the Ripper fan?
Re: a comment on Doubt by Dovina	Dovina 12.72.43.12	11-Sep-06/7:38 AM
I see haw it can be taken that way, and since that’s not my intent, I changed the title and the second line.
Re: a comment on weather poem part 12: a dream by nypoet22	Dovina 12.72.43.12	11-Sep-06/7:31 AM
At least you're posting current stuff, not stuffy stuff from past glory. I like that.
Re: a comment on From Across the Line by Dovina	Dovina 12.72.43.12	11-Sep-06/7:02 AM
Yep, those are good suggestions. Thanks.
Re: Wet dreams by ecargo	nypoet22 70.149.108.240	10-Sep-06/10:08 PM
hah, wet dreams as in water, fetishy. pale ghost seems in the wrong place in its line. funny how the first and last stanzas are like couplets while the rest is rife with internal rhyme.
Re: Royal Blades by Dovina	nypoet22 70.149.108.240	10-Sep-06/9:49 PM
i like this even more for knowing its background.
Re: From Across the Line by Dovina	nypoet22 70.149.108.240	10-Sep-06/9:46 PM
i love this except the last line of the second to last stanza and first line of the last. i was really pining to see the poem close where it opened - if i may be so bold: "tear down the foundations of my Rose Bowl!" O Daughter of Disneyland, doomed to destruction,
Re: Doubt by Dovina	nypoet22 70.149.108.240	10-Sep-06/9:35 PM
i'm not seeing much beyond the biblical story here, though i like the cadence. the meter of this is interesting; every second verse is 4-3-4-3 and the others are mostly all 4's. is there a reason for this? in the first stanza i think the second line has to go, too much tell and not enough show. i like the last stanza the most.
Re: a comment on weather poem part 9: song for gloria by nypoet22	nypoet22 70.149.108.240	10-Sep-06/9:23 PM
i wish i could claim some clearly defined master plan where that's concerned. at the moment i feel like it's still taking shape, something to mirror the weather itself, cyclical and predictable over time but random day to day.
Re: a comment on weather poem part 10: reprise by nypoet22	nypoet22 70.149.108.240	10-Sep-06/9:14 PM
truth be told, i'm not quite sure yet how it will fit together either, but i'm always open to suggestions.
Re: a comment on weather poem part 12: a dream by nypoet22	nypoet22 70.149.108.240	10-Sep-06/9:10 PM
interesting thought. i hadn't planned on ending it here, though this is as yet the last of the series. the initial goal was to fill an entire journal with weather poems and condense later.
Re: a comment on End of day poem by ecargo	ecargo 63.22.89.248	10-Sep-06/6:45 PM
Thanks Ranger. Some problems I still need to work out--the first and last verses still don't scan right to me. "Cicada's" a typo--thanks for pointing it out. I agree with "over" causing a stumble--it was "along" originally, but that made the labyrinths somewhat traceable. "Across" is a good suggestion. As always, thanks for the read and the thoughtful comments. :-)
Re: a comment on End of day poem by ecargo	ecargo 63.22.89.248	10-Sep-06/6:43 PM
High praise--thanks. Nice to see you around.
Re: weather poem part 12: a dream by nypoet22	Dovina 12.72.45.68	10-Sep-06/6:38 PM
Now that I've read parts 9-11 of your weather series, I see how this can be a great ending, especially the last verse.