Re: Deja Vu by Jeremi B. Handrinos	Jill Stockinger 127.0.0.1	21-Dec-20/6:26 PM
Loved some of your lines: especially "sky will keep, and the sea, it sleeps; "thoughts I thumbnailed to cork board" and "giant redwoods, so old/committed to reach, and be firm" Felt some of it (especially beginning) did not mesh with the rest, which was like a progressive story of a life. Might be better to start with second stanza, greater impact that way. Possibly?! Like your ending.
Re: Angelic Fornication by The_Third_Isis	Jill Stockinger 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	21-Dec-20/6:22 PM
This moved me. I felt the pain.
Re: a comment on Nadine by nentwined	nentwined 127.0.0.1	16-Dec-20/7:21 PM
This may be the alcohol speaking (reasons) but thank you. I love your poetry group, and thank you. :)
Re: Nadine by nentwined	Dovina 127.0.0.1	16-Dec-20/5:51 PM
A poetry workshop this evening allows bringing an outside poem bringing yours, I requested comments giving no personal info on you, and none of our discussion. They thought the first verse joins the title somehow. they say it describes Nadine, that she or it, is a bit wild. Something happened, they say, before the third verse something that lasts forever, and is always remembered so the apparent redundancy of the two words is not. The last verse, they said, reinforces importance of the memory. they like this verse best. The "quantum" verse was not well understood nor do I fully get it. but memory is like that, takes metaphoric form sometimes a life remembered as a rainbow something in quantum space
Re: a comment on paint me a poem (try 2) by nentwined	nentwined 127.0.0.1	16-Dec-20/3:15 PM
Revisiting to try a new thing. Reading it out, I stumbled in a few places. Also adjusting for timing... Do I edit this into oblivion or make a v3 that is its own thing? === paint me a picture with countable stanzas, colors that rhyme directly and slant, paint me the lines that twist their own language, that form a new form when rendered as chant, paint me a picture that makes its own being, make it sing loudly the chords of the soul and paint it again, and again, and again. === https://www.facebook.com/kaolinfire/posts/10158680724377199
Re: a comment on Nadine by nentwined	nentwined 127.0.0.1	16-Dec-20/3:01 PM
Not wrong at all, gone too soon.
Re: Nadine by nentwined	Dovina 127.0.0.1	16-Dec-20/2:50 PM
She must be or have been a fierce woman, a crashing wave. Remembered and folded, now written about. Or I could be completely wrong. Just a first impression
Re: a comment on Sunrise at McDonalds by Dovina	Dovina 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	4-Dec-20/6:22 PM
Yeah, it lacks lyric jerks like story not fiction, but events no way to write poetry just hit 'em in the nose
Re: Sunrise at McDonalds by Dovina	nentwined 127.0.0.1	4-Dec-20/4:13 PM
Feels a little clipped to me in places (first two lines set a cadence for me that I then trip on line three). I like the second view, definitely think it adds something. Though perhaps it would be less on the nose using the word "palm"?
Re: for John by pete	nentwined 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	3-Dec-20/3:34 PM
I kind of want to hear this out loud, ranted on stage, maybe with some jazz behind it. I don't know how well it holds up for me for re-reading, I don't feel like it "wraps up" for me? but maybe it doesn't need to. I really want it to wrap up more, though.
Re: Sea Foam by groogirl	nentwined 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Dec-20/2:34 PM
Are you the sea foam? Can that be merged with the jester? I don't feel the mixing of metaphors as they stand, but maybe that could be embraced more somehow?
Re: a comment on Due by impert&ent	nentwined 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Dec-20/2:07 PM
Just repaired comment-emails (who knows when they broke?), so that may help some small amount.
Re: a comment on I'll start by nentwined	Dovina 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Dec-20/11:09 AM
Thank you, I believe it is fixed. Now, if only if only a tweak of their software would awaken the sleepers.
Re: a comment on I'll start by nentwined	nentwined 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	2-Dec-20/10:27 AM
Maybe fixed? https://stackoverflow.com/questions/8186395/noclassdeffounderror-javax-activation-datasource javax.activation was removed from Java9 forwards, so I had to include it manually.
Re: a comment on I'll start by nentwined	nentwined 127.0.0.1	2-Dec-20/10:21 AM
ARGH. Yes. Yes, right.
Re: a comment on Days of Silence (1-196) by impert&ent	Dovina 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	29-Nov-20/12:25 PM
I too have wished, and hoped that my returning to the empty room might draw some wayfarers. Thanks for showing up.
Re: Days of Silence (1-196) by impert&ent	impert&ent 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	25-Nov-20/3:26 PM
This is my audience. I'm not sure there's ever been another. I have looked. And wished. So the silence tells a story.
Re: Lovesick by impert&ent	impert&ent 127.0.0.1	20-Nov-20/2:40 PM
She's an icthyologist. With a flick of the tale, she's off. Fin
Re: a comment on Days of Silence (1-196) by impert&ent	Dovina 127.0.0.1	19-Nov-20/12:26 PM
We had something to say. Captive poets always do. But we say it where we have an audience -- poetry readings, facebook, zoom meetings, etc. But nowhere on the internet is a better site for comments than here. What Nentwined engineered many years ago still supersedes any other interactive exchange of poetic commentary. Tell me if I am wrong.
Re: Due by impert&ent	Dovina 0:0:0:0:0:0:0:1	19-Nov-20/12:03 PM
I find the form confusing.