| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
paint me a poem (try 2) (Free verse) by nentwined paint me a picture with countable stanzas,
colors that rhyme directly and slant,
paint me a plot that stands up for itself,
or a moment in time inherently deep;
paint me the lines that twist their own language,
the form a bit playful, but in essence quite deep;
paint me a picture that explains its own being,
then takes that same being, and twists it around.
paint me a poem that's naked when clothed,
with innocent yang and experienced yin,
make it sing loudly the chords of the soul
and paint it again, and again, and again.
Up the ladder:
A heart without keys
Down the ladder:
glimpses
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.8965516
Posted: November 12, 2003 9:10 PM PST; Last modified: November 12, 2003 9:10 PM PSTWeighted score: 6.8918624 Overall Rank: 247 Comments:
an epiphimal transformation, and I don't agree that it feels forced.
The cadence is flawless and that should erase any perceived awkwardness. Granted, the perspective is a bit... whats the word? 'Commanding'? 'Pretentious' is too strong - whatever; it works fine to my ear. Rock on.
(nor do I agree INTRANSIT is a simpleton, btw)
thanks man. My confidence waxes and wanes faster than the sun and moon in their chase.
(ok, so why wasn't THAT in my bag six hundred poems ago)?
Your tuners ear is more developed than mine. Grrrr.
I love it. really, i do.
10.
ha ha ha you are giving yourself 10's too what a bunch of sad scoundrels.
Umm.
Actually. I'm not.
coolies.
spiff. :)
What do you mean by 'deep'?
WOO-HOO! *clap *clap...take a bow! (Except...don't capitalizations count for anything? If you used punctuation, then why not capital letters?) Gave you a nine anyway....I don't give 10's...at least not yet!
560 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
===
paint me a picture with countable stanzas,
colors that rhyme directly and slant,
paint me the lines that twist their own language,
that form a new form when rendered as chant,
paint me a picture that makes its own being,
make it sing loudly the chords of the soul
and paint it again, and again, and again.
===
https://www.facebook.com/kaolinfire/post