Re: Tribeca by Dovina	half.italian 76.172.249.205	11-Apr-07/1:13 AM
Think about changing the end of stanza 4. I have a picture in my head until those last two lines, and there it's disrupted. It makes sense, sensically, it just draws me out for some reason. Cool poem.
Re: a comment on You can't send love to a voicemail. by drnick	drnick 24.247.112.155	10-Apr-07/10:32 PM
That's too easy: there's nothing like murdering bunnies in the warm april sunshine. Shit, I could write a novel on that!
Re: Makin' Bacon by NICKDRP	NICKDRP 67.68.62.83	10-Apr-07/6:19 PM
Its a great Canadian Sunday morning!
Re: a comment on Shuushin the multi-personality total cunt by mr cunt	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	10-Apr-07/5:17 AM
Neither am I since they changed the password. :.(..
Re: Tribeca by Dovina	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	10-Apr-07/5:15 AM
As excellent as watching a nnon-league game of Kabadi.
Re: A KISS TO BUILD A DREAM ON . . . by stevopoet	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	10-Apr-07/4:04 AM
This is a terrible poem, if indeed it could be called a poem. Showing off that you know Gibraltar has a rock and that Thebes lies next door to the Garden of Eden is not sufficient to make up for the appallingly squelchy line: "That which cannot become grime in the wind."
Re: you've returned i'm glad by richa	Prince of Void 80.71.122.59	9-Apr-07/9:54 AM
The poem’s been written by you It is full of happiness in the sweet misery of past but the melody of music altered your life As your life lingers on but you are still wondering about the season that enchanted you for years Years had faced you harsh and now it’s time to let it go and think that the reasons of those happenings Will be lost in the moment that you found something invaluable that he or she never understand...So if they fall...Nothing happen you no longer need his or her distraction.
Re: OneLongDay by Iain	Ranger 86.131.44.109	9-Apr-07/2:23 AM
The rhyme of 'pain' with 'Sylvain' forces me to assume that you mean the Arctic trip guaranteed very little French-made bread. This is a terrible situation to be in at any time of the month and I send my most heartfelt sympathies to all such sufferers.
Re: We… by Prince of Void	Prince of Void 80.71.122.153	8-Apr-07/11:01 AM
I found myself alone in skies Where the insanity blinds eyes When I am a king of misjudgments There is nowhere to hide my jealousy I’m drowning in doubts of “whys” As I’m lost within frustrations I’m dying from this agony To stage of the powerful play The play’s a tragedy of dreams
Re: Good-Bye by RION12	cheese.doodles 70.52.169.248	8-Apr-07/9:00 AM
I get the feeling I've read this someplace before; I realize it's because it's the most un-original poem of all time.
Re: Sometimes by pinay_miss_azn	cheese.doodles 70.52.169.248	8-Apr-07/8:58 AM
Boo hoo. This is a pimple poem. If you read your poetry to others, no wonder you have no friends.
Re: All Meta-Verse Shall be Deleted, it is Poison by middenHeap	cheese.doodles 70.52.169.248	8-Apr-07/8:56 AM
Hmm, I really like your title.
Re: Memories by RION12	cheese.doodles 70.52.169.248	8-Apr-07/8:54 AM
Oh, poor you, whiny baby. Look, this poem is rambly and boring with no metaphor, poor rythm and I think you break the sympathetic contract in your first two lines. Remember to show, don't tell.
Re: Tribeca by Dovina	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 212.139.246.27	8-Apr-07/6:08 AM
Poetry isn't just an excuse for you to tell the world about your disgusting and warped sex life. There's a name for that kind of thing, and it isn't Art. It's Smut.
Re: OneLongDay by Iain	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 212.139.246.27	8-Apr-07/6:03 AM
I suppose you think you're pretty big and clever for spelling your name the scotch way... well I've got news for you: nobody cares. This is a POETRY site for RANKING POEMS. Whether or not you put extra 'i's in your name is neither here nor there.
Re: View From The Gutter by Skamper	Ranger 86.131.48.48	7-Apr-07/6:28 AM
The cracks and crisscrossing and other initial images made me think you were actually going to describe the tarmac of the street as a metaphor for all this. As it is, it's alright but has been done a lot before.
Re: Tribeca by Dovina	Ranger 86.131.48.48	7-Apr-07/6:26 AM
'a consequence of bipeds...' is the best part of this poeme. Do you want the grammar nazi? He's here anyway: line 14 wants an apostrophe in "let's". I'm feeling pedantic today. I won't apologise, and besides, I have to return to my revision :(
Re: you've returned i'm glad by richa	Ranger 86.131.48.48	7-Apr-07/6:22 AM
"because I am free they have won and so I"...? Am I being a dunce here? Other than that, ace.
Re: You can't send love to a voicemail. by drnick	Ranger 86.131.48.48	7-Apr-07/6:18 AM
This is good. Your next challenge is to write a sequel including the words 'bunnies', 'sunshine' and 'April'. I know you can.
Re: A KISS TO BUILD A DREAM ON . . . by stevopoet	Dovina 208.127.114.195	6-Apr-07/7:15 AM
The title is a bit cliche, and the endnote shows us nothing new. Allusions are good, but not carried through, not built upon. The old English is out-of-place when not used throughout.