horus8
on Sinistral Defenses by Scarlet_Raindrops x
12 Aug 2004, 6:52 PM
Woah, I guess that makes you a pretty heartless pathetic cunt huh? Kind of like a toilet huh, except you have the arms to flush while us bad boys are turd dunked aye.
Precisely, glad you could make it.
It was a grey morning, but all I could see anywhere was green.
Some sap called Rogers was paying me twice my actual rate to track down his ex-wife, name of Blimpo Toots. Rogers said she'd accidentally grown a beard one morning, checked the mailbox at the wrong time, and then just vanished into the seedy world of backstreet tuba shows. Not as uncommon as you might think, especially not for a girl like Toots, who according to Rogers could blow a Negro through a thirty-foot chimney and still have enough breath to ask for seconds.
I took her photo out of the file and scraped off some of the crust. Yeah, she was a nice-looking broad, but nothing special. I tried to imagine her with a thick black beard bulging out of her cheeks. Well, ho-ly shit. If the Puff-up in my chaps meant anything, Toots'd be halfway to Humpsville by now, riding the cackrails on a rickety asswagon named 'Uncle Sam' with no brakes and a four liter negro injection.
i like it i give ita 8 :)
wow..^_^ i give it a 9
I like it myself :) I gave it a 9 ^_^
Jeremi,
I don't think any particular group needs to tone down anything. People toning down things isn't going to make prejudice people less prejudice, because by assuming that there is something that a person who is the object of a prejudice could do in regards to stopping prejudice and stereotyping would also assume that prejudice, racism, and sexism was based in some kind of fact and was the fault of who it was practiced against and it is not.
I feel that the American public needs to be more inclusive and less concerned about things.
meow,
cat
What there is a difference between black people and niggers, oh my god, so the niggers are the ones that are touchy, ok...
Lets see you just asked for people to look at each white person as individuals and then in the same breath you assume all black people think in a certain way, that's completely inconsistent.
Everyone should be viewed without stereotypes and generalizations, but of course I'm PC.
meow,
cat the PC cat
Uranus.
That is ok, are you Luther Blissett?
Four metric tons of guff, and a pinch of forlorn hope. Beautiful. Simply beautiful. -10-
Bulgingly stupid.
Oh, "frowned upon" is it? Yes. Frowned. Thanks ever so much for pointing that out.
You turd. It's obvious you think poetry is about being raw and controversial. You put offensive words like "nigger" and "mellifluous" in your poemes to make your writing seem more dangerous. And when - shock horror! - someone thinks you're being racist, you blunder around in a massive self-righteous rant about how your work is always being misunderstood by the PC establishment. Well I've got news for you buddy:
"Your subversion is a perpetual disease"
Besides, the preferred nomenclature is "Negro".
I love your use of color. "burry (sic) itself beneath copper blankets" is a great line.
The only issue I have is with the thought of the fourth stanza continuing into the fifth so fluidly since no other stanzas do this.
To Mr pain killer
Contrary to some's held belief, poemranker is not made up one person with many different user names. As a result replying to for instance a richa and calling it a dark_angel is frowned upon.
Yours
Luther Blissett.
you know you are so very right.all i ask s.dreamer was one simply
question and he gave me that answer. the rest of the comment he could have left out.but that's in the past. now getting back to your comment. i agree! but you know nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.
i hope one day some black people wont be so touchy on the past the question is not always where we stand, but in which direction we are headed.
Seems to read ok. The ending is a bit abrupt though. Some of the language is a bit unsubtle (indestructable fate).
I am not particularly well versed in verse. My advice should always be superceded by someone who has studied poetry in some form or another. I get my knowledge from the prefaces of poetry books/ hatrack/ the odd philosophy module at uni/ reading criticism on here and eratosphere etc.
Well written, loses it a bit at the end 'souls' and 'markers' seems a touch vague.