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A fish, or what's left of one (Free verse) by phbiscuit Breathless and kicking
Feeling a sudden nostalgia
For a life
Left behind to float away
With the breeze.
Patiently waiting
For death to rush up
From behind like it has done
So many times before
And repeat
Repeat that same pattern.
One steady hand
Sawing
And cutting
And closing eyes
To bring you back to that same
Shoreline where you were planted
and grown by indestructible Fate.
And now you realize
as you drop deeper that there are
always more
And you believe now that
the smart ones
always swim away.
Always.
Up the ladder:
Kristi's Quiescence
Down the ladder:
R'lyeh
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.111111
Posted: August 10, 2004 7:13 PM PDT; Last modified: August 10, 2004 7:13 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.5555553 Overall Rank: 2466 Comments:
[7]
eyrbare @ 64.33.190.47
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10-Aug-04/9:57 PM
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Reply
Nice, I've been playing around with a poem that has a similar theme to this. =-)
Seems to read ok. The ending is a bit abrupt though. Some of the language is a bit unsubtle (indestructable fate).
i like it i give ita 8 :)
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