Re: Sylvania Wilderness by jessicazee	richa 85.210.180.87	24-Aug-07/1:26 PM
Not keen on the final line but this is good. I like how a little story is interweaved into the poem.
Re: The Buiness Card by abecedarian	richa 85.210.180.87	24-Aug-07/1:24 PM
I like the way the words sound. Does he have to be illiterate it seems a bit of a cheap jibe.
Re: Colin's thoughts by colin douglas's arse	richa 85.210.180.87	24-Aug-07/1:18 PM
are you gay too.
Re: Church Propagation by Dovina	richa 85.210.180.87	24-Aug-07/1:15 PM
I feel you are not critical enough of your own ungodliness. Is religious devotion really a consequence of a truth being 'forgotten' or do the religious search for a truth that was never reachable through non devotion. 'Wisdom wanes cleverness and knowledge shines' I find intriguing although I can not be sure whether you see wisdom waning as a loss that leads to the undeserved precedence of knowledge or that you see something wrong with wisdom that stands in the way of knowledge. In the final couplet chaos can be interpreted as the lack of a truth the predominance of relativism and cynicism that values nothing and that the new church can be a good thing. I don't think you meant that though. The poem sounds good anyway. It is a shame some of the words didn't have different meanings.
Re: Church Propagation by Dovina	richa 85.210.180.87	24-Aug-07/1:07 PM
As a christian I am mildly piqued but as a logophile I am mortally offended.:(
Re: Some things marinate, others poison by MacFrantic	INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204	24-Aug-07/7:02 AM
chaos is much too good for me? ok then.
Re: The Raw Vegan Potluck by peaceseeker	INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204	24-Aug-07/7:00 AM
I get to use my favorite suggestion. Put it in the blender and hit frappe. It comes across a little too list-like. Blend the people with the foods a bit. There's much to work with here. Please revise.
Re: Passive Birth Control by http://mulberryfairy	INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204	24-Aug-07/6:39 AM
I second Paul S.
Re: Sylvania Wilderness by jessicazee	INTRANSIT 65.29.52.204	24-Aug-07/6:35 AM
YES ! Two small nits. J-flits, and Old spice... oh wait no, well, shoot. The old spice itself is cliche but it steers me away from boyfriend/girlfriend and into father/daughter, so.... Anyway, it's ace. if you revise it any, please post. I'd like to add it to my faves.
Re: Passive Birth Control by http://mulberryfairy	abecedarian 71.231.136.220	23-Aug-07/8:39 PM
Good to see you writing again :)
Re: Pledge by http://mulberryfairy	abecedarian 71.231.136.220	23-Aug-07/8:38 PM
"I" absolutely adore this poem!
Re: Colin's thoughts by colin douglas's arse	Engelbert Humpalot 85.211.242.68	23-Aug-07/5:05 PM
I couldn't have put it better about poor Colin, even if I had written it myself.
Re: Two More Cunts Who Are One Cunt by mr cunt	Engelbert Humpalot 85.211.242.68	23-Aug-07/5:03 PM
I have trouble with this Skilton creep. He's a mental defective mongo and a train spotter so we shouldn't be too unkind to him. On 2nd thoughts, let's laugh.
Re: Sylvania Wilderness by jessicazee	some deleted user 63.127.193.79	23-Aug-07/2:21 PM
Nice write.
Re: Passive Birth Control by http://mulberryfairy	some deleted user 63.127.193.79	23-Aug-07/2:17 PM
"a devout with a minor in debauchery," an absolutely brilliant line.
Re: Passive Birth Control by http://mulberryfairy	miraclemaker 72.130.249.51	23-Aug-07/1:46 AM
Please write a part three.
Re: beef flavored ramen by ThePariahDog	http://mulberryfairy 64.223.241.185	22-Aug-07/6:18 PM
mmm-mmm good
Re: reptile by ThePariahDog	http://mulberryfairy 64.223.241.185	22-Aug-07/6:13 PM
Who gave this a zero and didn't comment? It is hard to work the word chitin into a poem! Nice mix of the literal and metaphoric: carpenter as god, carpenter ant, etc.
Re: Alfredo by Caducus	http://mulberryfairy 64.223.241.185	22-Aug-07/5:30 PM
Is calomine an alternate spelling of calamine, and was the vineyard actually a grove of poison ivy?
Re: a comment on Alfredo by Caducus	richa 85.210.180.87	21-Aug-07/3:31 PM
I agree.