zodiac
replying on pihsdneirf ruo fo dne eht(The Burn) by thepinkbunnyofdoom
20 Mar 2005, 2:48 AM
Christ your insouciant.
You should travel back in time 15 years and start a grunge band.
1) Are you on The O.C.?
2) Are you reading The Da Vinci Code?
Surely, indeed.
1) Speaking for myself, I get a kick out of butchering people who butcher the language. Do you see the difference? I bet not. And can you respond to this string without referencing your imaginary "incrowd"? There's surely an argument even without, but I bet you can't think of it. Or are too hung up on your playground-flashback bully-fantasies to want to.
2) Um, how about, "lost jot and tittle period and dash for colloquialisms sake"? Anyway, it occurs to me that whether or not you find a colloquialism without apostrophes, periods, or dashes, you've still lost. Dropping punctuation doesn't make something necessarily colloquial or more colloquial. They're just not related, and you're probably just using the wrong word.
3) What the fuck?
4) No incrowd, sorry.
5) dim and uncool are unrelated. Um, I don't explain them. I was being sarcastic.
6) Latecomers use it. If I do sometimes it's because I'm lazy.
7) ibid.
8) What the fuck?
9) I don't think you have a very good idea about anything, incrowdish or not.
10) I'd hate for you to leave. If I've ever suggested anything of the kind, I'm truly sorry.
PS-Thanks for answering my points. It bothers me to no end when people don't.
Heh-heh, you're nutty. And if you're more than a precocious 17, I'll eat my own shmaugh.
As for the poem, what can I say? It's about going to the ocean - a big fantasy of mine since I started living in the Middle Eastern desert. It might interest you to know the original version of this went,
When we get out of here, I'll fuck
You in an empty movie theatre.
Is that any better?
thepinkbunnyofdoom
replying on The Sidekick Retires From Fairview's Finest by luzrheroguy
19 Mar 2005, 11:54 PM
Yeah, I just thought I'd let you know that luzrheroguy is my user name as well. I'm mainly leaving myself the breadcrumbs of copyrighted intellectual property for my super hero satire of sorts.
<3 Jason
1) Okay, Iâve hyperbolized. But certain renegade poet comedians seem to get a kick out of butchering the language to impress the incrowd. Call it making fun, but itâs just silly. And in case you wish to say that I am silly in other ways â admitted.
2) Colloquialisms and apostrophes go together sometimes, sometimes not. I donât see how thatâs related to anything.
3) Apparently you have concluded that âstuffy bastions of conservative poetryâ are the same people as ârenegade poet comediansâ in my estimation. I hadnât thought of it that way, but maybe they are so inconsistent as to be so. Thank you for that inspiration.
4) Have I use a passé word, âdimâ? It just shows how out-of-touch I am with incrowd norms.
5) Many people on this site besides you say I am uncool, dim, dimtard or whatever the âinâ terminology may be at the time. If there is no incrowd, how do you explain your comments at http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp;j
thepinkbunnyofdoom
replying on Sophia, Lets get this over with by thepinkbunnyofdoom
19 Mar 2005, 7:55 PM
Its written from the perspective of one of the character's in one of the short stories I'm writing. Glad you liked it.
<3 Jason
awesome. Good grief, man! This is really good stuff.
I'm normally all about the emotional poems, but honestly? If this was pimple I might have cut you enough slack to give this a 5. As is, a 2. All you've done is bitch at someone whom I seriously doubt will read this. The rest of us, don't need to see this.
ANOTHER good one.
thepinkbunnyofdoom
replying on pihsdneirf ruo fo dne eht(The Burn) by thepinkbunnyofdoom
19 Mar 2005, 7:36 PM
lol, don't worry about that. Click the best Tab sometime.
"Come, lets dance, with flames and silhouettes"
I REALLY like that imagery. In fact, your whole poem was like I was right there. I was right. You ARE very articulate...and very intelligent. Poetry pretty much tells on a person, who they are and all that.
A very good piece.
thepinkbunnyofdoom
on No wonder I can't sleep when you are gone, but still here. by Haleyj
19 Mar 2005, 7:31 PM
Few typos, this is more "pimple" than "freeverse", and inside/mind. -6-
luzrheroguy
replying on The Sidekick Retires From Fairview's Finest by luzrheroguy
19 Mar 2005, 7:18 PM
Thanks. It did.
oooops. I forgot to vote
I can tell you are a pretty intelligent person, maybe above average, and very articulate...I like this poem. I wrote one about being "burned" once....one of the phrases was
.....new skin under the burns......
This poem brought it to mind. That's all I can remember of my "burned" poem. I was pretty crazy over that guy. I've forgotten all about him now, oh...and the poem was thrown away with the memory. That's all I could retrieve from that dusty part of my memory.
Good stuff, pinkbunny-guy. I'll read some more of yours.
I really like the first verse a lot. It's smooth and clear:
"My best was never enough
Against you at your worst
I'm always a close second
Compared to your first"
I like how it rhymes just here and there without sounding fake or funky. It sounds like it just flowed out that way.