Re: Turning British by INTRANSIT	Dovina 12.22.108.229	10-Nov-07/5:34 PM
Ok, lets see if we can DA and SR outa the pub long enough to declare it all false. I doubt if they sing any version of Amazing Grace.
Re: Shuushin the multi-personality total cunt by mr cunt	malpaso 70.233.136.151	9-Nov-07/7:38 AM
will the real cunt please stand up....heh, cunts don't have legs, hee hee!!! you can't hide cory feldman in here. he stands out like a sore cunt!!!
Re: Fading Love by hobojo	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	9-Nov-07/6:43 AM
Change line 3/4 to a statement, drop the -how can- Line 5. change items for unusual things Cut line 7 Line 10 try -anger before pain- Cut the buts, and instead of guilt lasting forever make it hang around like a sad dog (cliche) or something else. Punch it up there. HTH.
Re: Hawk by Shardik	malpaso 70.233.136.151	8-Nov-07/5:10 PM
much better than that shit slinger you wrote about the 'genius'. stick to this style here. your image mining is excellent
Re: The Ultimate~Creep goes to Mecca! by Bachus	malpaso 70.233.136.151	8-Nov-07/5:06 PM
that is one kick ass poem, bachus. like being side swiped by a mack truck and punched in the gut.
Re: I am an genius, and you're a stupid turd by Shardik	malpaso 70.233.136.151	8-Nov-07/5:02 PM
god damn, Shardik!!!
Re: a comment on Stroke It! by Skamper	Skamper 58.171.221.193	8-Nov-07/2:38 AM
:) thanx
Re: a comment on Stroke It! by Skamper	Skamper 58.171.131.199	8-Nov-07/2:35 AM
LOL...ok..changed could to shall - although not quite what I had in mind either, but it's better, no need to give those bards a choice huh? I want them compelled to sing, although that's not the right word for this either...hmmm Words like 'want' and 'everything' give this exactly what I needed, an ego boost...a demand...a spoiltness...an impulse to let loose an ambition...a little dream
Re: Why I took my ears off by INTRANSIT	nypoet22 65.10.242.138	7-Nov-07/5:06 PM
great crack about the ethics homework. are you sure you want to keep the prose-poem format though? it makes much of this piece difficult to parse.
Re: Behind closed offices by lukehanney	nypoet22 65.10.242.138	7-Nov-07/5:02 PM
unashamedly light fare. it's a hallmark moment.
Re: Stroke It! by Skamper	nypoet22 65.10.242.138	7-Nov-07/5:00 PM
extra points for shameless name-dropping ;)
Re: Stroke It! by Skamper	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	7-Nov-07/6:53 AM
The word -could- gives the bards the option of doing so. "We could sing this. Nah, lets play Jarts." There may be an even better/more active/forceful word than -will or -want to. (not the first line) Give me more details about s-1-3. (Everything) is too broad a specrum, I think. Try to narrow it. Like I said to dovina, It'sa jumping off point.
Re: a comment on Why I took my ears off by INTRANSIT	Skamper 58.171.202.189	6-Nov-07/8:33 PM
still perfect - Truck-stops the world over must contain the same sounds, sights and residents.
Re: a comment on Why I took my ears off by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	6-Nov-07/8:25 PM
arrrrgh. i need a comma between idle and spewing and one between peace and we. doh!
Re: a comment on Some poems by INTRANSIT	INTRANSIT 69.23.157.197	6-Nov-07/8:21 PM
Listening is the key to poetry, no? Gotta get my ears tuned somehow. Thanks for the help !
Re: a comment on back o' the fridge by nypoet22	Skamper 58.171.131.211	6-Nov-07/8:03 PM
she rolled her eyes in her 'vegetarian way', and said "typical"
Re: A No One With A Face by calmyourself	Skamper 58.171.203.157	6-Nov-07/7:56 PM
A bit rough here and there...but not too bad
Re: a comment on Flat by Skamper	Skamper 58.171.230.105	6-Nov-07/7:45 PM
maybe it's time I did
Re: a comment on Flat by Skamper	Skamper 58.171.193.164	6-Nov-07/7:45 PM
Hmmm, maybe...I'm crap when it comes to titles
Re: Why I took my ears off by INTRANSIT	Skamper 58.171.138.138	6-Nov-07/7:37 PM
This rolls around a bit, lazily working ideas into place. Great descriptions, vaguely horrific ending. I thought the start was a little slow, but after reading a couple of times, it's perfect.