Wet cocaINE

I couldn't get passed "stained" simply because of mine.

Cannabal

A hobo mutes

Perhaps they drip because of GRAVITY?

a nice poem..i like it ...

a nice poem..i like it ...

Poetically: -9- For any hint of realism: -0- Weighting this with my particular mood, and for the poor lost soul it is destined: -3-

And If you ever let your guard down enough to let someone truly care for you, hell even help you with anything, perhaps some of that pressure would be gone. I guess it's easier to go around hardened though. Makes it easier to explain things away.

Seems perfectly intact to me~

You are prize pillock.

My apologies to all. I have committed the most henious crime of attributing a poem to the wrong poet and will now don the Wellingtons of shame, size: clown.

Is it still only available online? Finished the "holy" book. woofed it down in about six days. driving slows my reading terribly. I'm still thinkin' 'bout how to get that homellette in person. How are you? Healthy I hope. Grenada, Granada, grand nada. Another buffet thats' true to you. HASSAAAAAAN CHOP!!!!

pneumatic. ffffwwWWWEEEEEEE! perfect.

the hardened tar throws me. I'd like to see -has been for long- somehow rhyme. such puny nits i have.

Is the last line- "The red wheelbarrow" is a poem by William Carlos Williams- part of the poem? I think the poem makes more sense without it.

If two things (pretty blue eyes and pale skin) are causing the reaction, the proper verb would be "make", not "makes." "Pretty blue eyes" is ho-hum, unimaginative and fundamentally undescriptive. You are telling, not letting the poem do the work that leads us to understand what it is about those eyes that is so special. Unique body? Again, a classification w/o an image. Sounds more like a customized car than a woman. Because I don't come inside the experience but only hear it described in mundane terms, this comes off as an uninteresting diary entry.

Written as a paradoxical viewpoint that an ironic omen could have happened in the earlier life of Jesus. This sonnet portrays Christ as a man prior to his becoming of a messiah, and the spritual elements which could have hinted to his eventual fate and demise. I am fascinated by the possibility that Christ as a man became the 'mortal ghost' once he transcended in to a messiah, when he died as a messiah he became the holy ghost in resurrection but in his ending of a man maybe we became the unholy ghost - mortals for which he died a martyr for, so he could lead us in to his path of righteousness and not the road to hell, the road of us trying to be who we can never be. Road = Ro(Roman) ad(anno domini) road created by romans, path created by christ.

There's interesting stuff here, but it's not sure if it wants to be straight prose or a poem. If the latter, it needs paring down to concentrate its effect. Way too wordy, more like a newspaper feature in its approach right now.

What the?????? I don't know what you're doing to improve , but it's working. Very very well I might add.