I like s4. death, love, pain, and loss-- these are the thoughts in my mind while in the office

dross

a turtle strokes its way through a puddle of creamed corn. she turns coldly, glaring beneath her shades, smoke gushing from her face. she speaks. we see her missing teeth. A force beyond my control pushes at the seams in my denim trousers.

perhaps during the hours of boredom, you might read, or, I don't know, learn how to spell? Or, here is another idea...focus on whatever task you are performing, so as not to completely fuck it up. what is gimmie? If only you had rhymed something with 'drano', this would have been an automatic 10

now this i think is kinda funny and kinda good. if only you had made the half rhyme of tuna and you a bit more obvious....still a 10

freaking....this is wrong. either use "fucking" or some other word that stands on its own and is not some chilly euphemism for a real word. though I don't suppose it really matters, as this is most likely written on a post-it note and destined for the trash anyway.

I'm not gay, but c'mon. This is Bowie we're talking about.

"strong and erect" You're obviously, a gay.

A B Flat.

Almost.

I feel the same way about dung beatles.

I was hoping for shit, but found a modicum of shine.

Ah "crusty and clean" Like brain cancer. the third stanza is utter crap, but... I didn't know weaker defense was dusty? And I've never seen snow with dust, because dust is dry, do you mean silt? or dusty snow? Only you could make an afternoon walk, this fucking confusing.

Not sure about this one. 'You're something witty' where it is sounds bizarre. Short sentences are fine in building up tempo but the linebreaks impede this and I spent too much time figuring out how each line followed on from the other. Most of your recent poems; soul fruit, a wanderlust to the new, zipmark'd etc have been pretty good (the use of composite words in wanderlust I enjoyed) and have sounded wonderful. I think part of the reason for this is the longer verses bring out your lyricality in a way this poem does not.

I would replace the first two lines. A level knocks on a door?!. The second line is plain inelegant. And I would write more.

This is not a haiku it is a discredited view.

The Japanese, who were the true originators of writing Haiku, considered children as the highest form of nature. Read Ho-Chu

Dovina! others may deprive you of your material wealth and cheat you in a thousand ways, but no man can deprive you of the control and use of your imagination. That's why I say nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere Ignorance and consciencious stupidity.I am sure that I'm going to get some kind of smart comment from someone, but understand! What people think of me isn't any of my business.And I would like for you to remember that my friend.

Isn't it the truth. I definitely hear you and feel sorry for the deer!

What about a child of rape?