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The Roses (Free verse) by poetryman The Roses
Planting the seeds
so easy to do
blossoming flowers
the reflection of you
the roses were young
so innocent and free
needing constant nourishment
for the essence of their beauty
rapidly they grew
strong and erect
an orchestra running wild
with no one to direct
the soil now tainted
chemically infected
the roses die daily
because they were neglected.....
Love a child, especially if it's your own.
It's so easy to fertilize a seed, grooming the
flower takes compassion and dedication.
Bob Shank-Oct.31st, 2004
Up the ladder:
Empty
Down the ladder:
Violent Storm
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: November 8, 2004 4:35 PM PST; Last modified: November 8, 2004 4:35 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.880797 Overall Rank: 10234 Comments:
[6]
Sasha @ 69.138.240.116
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8-Nov-04/5:01 PM
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Reply
Extremely campy, an example of the botanical mawkishness with which all mediocre poets are to some degree suffused. Sorry to break it to you but this poem isn't great. Poems about flowers are tired and pallid. I have a feeling you're going to retaliate with "well I write about what I want to write about...etc. etc." Fine, but understand that I've read third-rate poems like this by the dozen. I'm not trying to be a curmudgeon, just honest. My sympathy begets you a 6
[n/a]
poetryman @ 66.173.175.21
> Sasha
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8-Nov-04/5:59 PM
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Reply
actually your criticism would be right on, but the poem truly has little to do with flowers, someone of your intelligence could surely see that, but I do appreciate your thoughts....Bob:)
[n/a]
Dovina @ 69.175.6.101
> poetryman
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8-Nov-04/7:37 PM
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Reply
We know it's not about flowers. You're using flowers to say something. The problem is that your message is lost because the words do not flow, the flowers do not show. The idea is good, but the delivery is not.
"strong and erect"
You're obviously, a gay.
lmao, you should ask half the women you're related to if I'm gay, too funneeeeeee. But even if I were, does the thought of such make you question your own masculinity?...my guess is, probably!
half the women bachus is related to are 'chaps'.
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