| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
A Child Learns (haiku) (Haiku) by poetryman Children are conceived
with no hatred or racism
then teaching begins
Bob Shank-2004
Up the ladder:
First
Down the ladder:
anyhow
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.8
Posted: November 8, 2004 4:29 PM PST; Last modified: November 8, 2004 4:29 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.8569565 Overall Rank: 10496 Comments:
The Japanese, who were the true originators of writing Haiku, considered children as the highest form of nature. Read Ho-Chu
He means the middle line has eight syllables, rather than the correct seven. Googling "haiku", "children" and "nature", I found a bunch of sites (like this one: www.eliteskills.com/z/24904) full of you spouting about how the Japanese think children are the highest form of nature, and nothing else. So I had the Japanese girl sitting next to me google it in Japanese and got even less. Now shut up. People who say haikus have to be about nature are full of ripe turds anyway.
and saying something in 17 syllables doesn't exactly constitute a poem.
Thank you, you guys have so much ettiquette when addressing people that you don't even know, the monitor and distance must really be a source of comfort for bravery, hopefully you don't write like you talk....ignorant
ignorant of what?
We know you. You're the 2270th of you here. "hopefully you don't write like you talk" was the giveaway. An gentleman would have checked.
PS-Now you will look at one each of our poems, give them zeroes and vague tetchy comments, get bored with the site, leave. Hurry along, then.
He reminds me of the way fuzzylogic attempted to be high minded without doing any research into what the site was about before commenting and then handing out guff like it was Christmas. There must be some way of shooing these people along; perhaps a gigantic internet shoo horn?
What about a child of rape?
Is there 8 syllabols in line 2?
By posting your poem you are asking for it to be judged. 'Children are conceived with no hatred or racism' is saying that children are conceived by an act of love not hate. But what about children conceived through rape. Bachus has proved your statement to be false. No problem with that criticism. Haikus are traditionally 5-7-5 therefore the comment 'the second line has 8 syllables' is fair criticism. That you claim to be well read in haiku yet you write something which resembles a haiku in no way (except children can be in haikus) leaves you open to criticism on that score too. How can you turn on the critics for doing what is asked of them. Did someone tell you that everyone must like you and everyone must say nice things about you. Believe me there is nothing here that would not be said to your face. Poemranker however is not face to face, therefore it is kind of difficult to criticise face to face. If we could I am sure many would like to give you a slap for your apalling petulance.
your points to the literary criticisms are well taken and I totally agree, it's the other bullshit comments that are so unnecessary, and I seriously doubt many would even venture into my neighborhood, let alone try to slap me, but be my guest......so now that that's said lets get back to writing
As failed as a gallop with the scullery maid whilst trying to speak on the telephone.
180 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
it is a discredited view.