It's good but I want ten acres and a mule before I'll let myself forget what "you people" did to those people

nothing to suspect.. im not a man im a woman

i feel touched

Last stanza, 2nd to last line, "as" seems like unneeded filler. Same with S2 L1. Last few lines seem a little convoluted. I get your meaning, but... there has got to be a better way of getting your point across.

your one of a few who's style gets me each time. this has a beauty.

It flows fine but the openings very weak and as a lyric it holds merit but as a poem it just dont bang.

lines 4/5 very clever - good poem.

Something about writing a poem about never writing another poem is very nice. Greek gods, not Gods. Good title.

Try not using the same word twice, much less beginning all of your sentences with "Like, Than, There, Mpre, And, Out", not only does it sound forced, It does nothing for your originality and makes your piece rather bland. <3 Jason

The last two lines, start off okay(timing wise, writing wise they are a horrid trainwreck), but notice. In the other two pairs of lines, (and;in). Filler words, to spread your timing out better.

I feel the repetition adds to the continuity and style.

I hate the words "My ancestors did it to your ancestors", but thats just because I don't agree with the whole "sins of the father, sins of his children" idea either. Excellent close. <3 Jason

I get the forbiddenness you want her to see. But it seems that if you want to use that Biblical analogy, it would be better to talk of Eve and a serpent and the enticing fruit on a tree she was told not to touch. And twist that image into the things your are saying.

Mix tapes are pathetic. When you make a mix tape, you think, "How eclectic she'll think my tastes are!" You think juxtaposing a "beautiful acoustic guitar song" with a "hard rock" song is deeply meaningful.

It's a nice play on cliches. I don't see the mixtape analogy, but I'm not in the music business. It seems cliches are unavoidable - birth, life, death - cliche, cliche.

Not to wake you up again, but don't you think this is too dismal. After all, if there's absolutely no good and no life in what we do, then why are you doing it?

This is actually a chancrous cock on a string

Are grading your life on strict percentages or are you willing to use a curve?

Are we supposed to give a numerical vote on your life, or on the poem? Life: 2.1, poem: -0-

this is actually a senryu