Re: CAN'T TAKE THE PAIN by prettyktm	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.145.220	21-Jul-05/5:07 PM
This makes me sick. How dare you sully us with the lurid details of your dumpling of a love-life? This is a poetry website, and poetry is about thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Not tawdry 'late night' shows interspersed with teenage 'menages a trois.' Great poeme though :( -10-
Re: Victoria Applesmack and the Easy to Clean Wonder-Spleen by T. Jonathron Remp	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.145.220	21-Jul-05/5:09 PM
This poeme exudes excellence, though the title is a little too 'self-consciously zany' for my tastes. -10-
Re: My Golden Birthday by jessicazee	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.145.220	21-Jul-05/5:19 PM
A raw, uncompromising, indignant, vital, terrifying, brutally honest literary collage of everyday life in the urban skate scene with massively fat cheeks, sunken eyes, and an unbelievably appalling forehead. Nice one.
Re: A Good Man Ruined by Dovina	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	21-Jul-05/5:22 PM
Maybe change engineer to architech. Also you say he works alone and he runs a team. You might want to say "then promoted and monied he runs a team" or maybe change the first line to something like "Alone at the top". Change "damn" in the last line and the Jimmy Buffet fans will leave you alone. Fix this poem but don't ever throw it out because if one imagines the "ace egineer" as possibly being god or the bible or even Adam then the poem takes on a whole new profound meaning.
Re: Changing the Air by Miggy	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.151.145.220	21-Jul-05/5:36 PM
bulgingly cack
Re: Twilight on the Roadside by ALChemy	Dovina 84.184.228.244	22-Jul-05/8:29 AM
A good story, needing less story and more poetry, or else just tell it as a story. 'desaturated' may not be the right word. 'I was' in verse 3 can go. (That image burned into my heart)- Best, I think, to show how you feel rather than tell us.
Re: SO DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR LOVE by prettyktm	Nuit 86.128.33.62	22-Jul-05/9:42 AM
Sorry to say this, but I think its boring. It flows nicely etc, but the content is the same drivel I've heard a thousand times before. Perhaps look at the subject from a different angle.
Re: The Precious Thing by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	22-Jul-05/10:36 AM
two dr i p p ing thumbs up! -10-
Re: Twilight on the Roadside by ALChemy	darby pyn 207.200.116.130	22-Jul-05/10:41 AM
amazing work ALChemy. 8
Re: Plastic Ideals by Nuit	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	22-Jul-05/12:57 PM
"I liked your poem!" The Home Depot: You can do it, We can help TM
Re: My Golden Birthday by jessicazee	T. Jonathron Remp 128.252.229.185	22-Jul-05/1:04 PM
I long for the days when areas of study were indivisible from their classroms, so that one could truly be "in Science."
Re: Hindsight by darby pyn	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.133.246.232	23-Jul-05/7:03 PM
I read this once and hated it. I read it a second time and hated it. I just now read it again while listening to a song called Pathogenic Occular Dissonance and now feel like dying. two lines you should keep: "I stole my father's eyes to see" and "These are sad eyes I stare through" junk the rest and say something understandable.
Re: Noble oboe now sings every next saturday evening by ALChemy	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:24 AM
I'm a little under a Denken Weizen at the moment, but are there realy meadows in Tuscany? I do like to board a starship with its bark and all, of willows and such wherever the memories lead.
Re: Decoys and Disguises behind large-areas of smoke screens by Beyond_Dreams	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:30 AM
I'm happy you noticed me in my skirt 'too' short and ruge, not lipstick, on my cheeks. I really can't tell yesterday from today or tomorrow. You can have only one arm and graffitti on your feet, it doesn't matter if you love me. That's where most guys don<#t get it.
Re: Summer of Firsts by Miggy	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:32 AM
Beware! This looks too much like deception!
Re: Stabbed with a Carrot by T. Jonathron Remp	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:38 AM
A bit like the 'words will never hurt me' nonsenense of a cliche. A carot can hurt if you think it can. I don't get how this is 'spiritually' true. I seems like just the effect of belief.
Re: Hindsight by darby pyn	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:43 AM
I don't think you 'stole' your father's eyes. You just emulated him for awhile. That much is ok, and a good thing to do. Now leave him alone like he says. I'd like to be my father. He was a great man!
Re: Cavern of Chaos by Nuit	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:45 AM
??? Chaos? What is it?
Re: A thank you note(Not a poem at all) by thepinkbunnyofdoom	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:54 AM
Get over it!!!
Re: SO DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR LOVE by prettyktm	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:56 AM
What a line of bull!! I've heard it all before!!