This makes me sick. How dare you sully us with the lurid details of your dumpling of a love-life? This is a poetry website, and poetry is about thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Not tawdry 'late night' shows interspersed with teenage 'menages a trois.' Great poeme though :( -10-

This poeme exudes excellence, though the title is a little too 'self-consciously zany' for my tastes. -10-

A raw, uncompromising, indignant, vital, terrifying, brutally honest literary collage of everyday life in the urban skate scene with massively fat cheeks, sunken eyes, and an unbelievably appalling forehead. Nice one.

A good story, needing less story and more poetry, or else just tell it as a story. 'desaturated' may not be the right word. 'I was' in verse 3 can go. (That image burned into my heart)- Best, I think, to show how you feel rather than tell us.

Maybe change engineer to architech. Also you say he works alone and he runs a team. You might want to say "then promoted and monied he runs a team" or maybe change the first line to something like "Alone at the top". Change "damn" in the last line and the Jimmy Buffet fans will leave you alone. Fix this poem but don't ever throw it out because if one imagines the "ace egineer" as possibly being god or the bible or even Adam then the poem takes on a whole new profound meaning.

bulgingly cack

amazing work ALChemy. 8

"I liked your poem!" The Home Depot: You can do it, We can help TM

I long for the days when areas of study were indivisible from their classroms, so that one could truly be "in Science."

Sorry to say this, but I think its boring. It flows nicely etc, but the content is the same drivel I've heard a thousand times before. Perhaps look at the subject from a different angle.

two dr i p p ing thumbs up! -10-

I read this once and hated it. I read it a second time and hated it. I just now read it again while listening to a song called Pathogenic Occular Dissonance and now feel like dying. two lines you should keep: "I stole my father's eyes to see" and "These are sad eyes I stare through" junk the rest and say something understandable.

I'm a little under a Denken Weizen at the moment, but are there realy meadows in Tuscany? I do like to board a starship with its bark and all, of willows and such wherever the memories lead.

I'm happy you noticed me in my skirt 'too' short and ruge, not lipstick, on my cheeks. I really can't tell yesterday from today or tomorrow. You can have only one arm and graffitti on your feet, it doesn't matter if you love me. That's where most guys don<#t get it.

Beware! This looks too much like deception!

A bit like the 'words will never hurt me' nonsenense of a cliche. A carot can hurt if you think it can. I don't get how this is 'spiritually' true. I seems like just the effect of belief.

I don't think you 'stole' your father's eyes. You just emulated him for awhile. That much is ok, and a good thing to do. Now leave him alone like he says. I'd like to be my father. He was a great man!

??? Chaos? What is it?

Get over it!!!

What a line of bull!! I've heard it all before!!