Re: Gadgets and Poems by Dovina	half.italian 98.151.18.37	7-Sep-08/12:53 AM
I have a hard time reading "paragraph" poetry. Take out 50 words, and split it up into somewhat rhythmic lines.
regarding some deleted poem...	half.italian 98.151.18.37	7-Sep-08/1:02 AM
Random words do not necessarily make good poetry. What does "Zombie makers came with cliches and syringes" mean exactly?!? No explanation you can give will correct this poor form. Sorry.
Re: enter, do. let up, let loose. by FreeFormFixation	half.italian 98.151.18.37	7-Sep-08/1:09 AM
Hard to follow possibly because of the indentation. I like a lot of the phrases, but I can't follow because of punctuation and spacing.
Re: Suicide Note [Disposal Instructions Included] by SupremeDreamer	alvinb 124.217.79.105	8-Sep-08/1:03 AM
Nice one dude... now will you give me the better Exit srategy???
Re: Time to Leap* edited by hobojo	Bethy 165.154.46.44	8-Sep-08/12:03 PM
I really like this, hits home somewhere in the middle...
Re: Suicide Note [Disposal Instructions Included] by SupremeDreamer	Bethy 165.154.46.44	8-Sep-08/12:09 PM
its good to know things are taken care of in the event of the writers demise, tip n all...however, i feel a little dirty and almost sinister when i say i like this poem...i figure its my dark side comin' out ...bravo, good one
Re: Suicide Note [Disposal Instructions Included] by SupremeDreamer	INTRANSIT 69.23.141.215	10-Sep-08/10:08 AM
I'd like to see the first line gone. The title covers it. But the Main part, I'd like to see really odd things there, not the drugs and the sex etc. Not that true grunge doesn't have a place, I'm just not one for "shock" value. Write another one my way please, and I'll compare, and, maybe concede. Whaddaya got ta lose?
Re: :: chameleon by elementalidad	INTRANSIT 69.23.141.215	10-Sep-08/10:22 AM
I disagree with Dovina on this one. I think it's the best of the four.
Re: SWF seeks SWM by Bethy	INTRANSIT 69.23.141.215	10-Sep-08/10:24 AM
-more nuts, this is wrong. hahahahahaha.
Re: .: night owl (1) by elementalidad	elementalidad 190.154.244.220	10-Sep-08/10:50 AM
This is my first attempt at writing senryu. This series of 5 senryu tries to maintain a recurrent theme of sleep and darkness. I feel like some of the first attempts here to come lack the essence of true senryu, however, I'm keeping my head up :) PS: The others in the series will follow shortly as I don't wish to put them all on one submission as I've seen some people do with shorter senryu / haiku.
Re: Coffee or Love by Nepanthe	jessicazee 69.215.128.178	11-Sep-08/3:14 AM
Love it.
Re: Let's Forget About Last Night by jessicazee	Bethy 165.154.46.148	12-Sep-08/9:20 AM
a little difficult to read, but it gave me a few chuckles
Re: Repeated Behavior by hobojo	Bethy 165.154.46.148	12-Sep-08/9:24 AM
my thoughts exactly...get out of my head...lol
Re: :: snowsounds by elementalidad	Bethy 165.154.46.148	12-Sep-08/9:27 AM
great haiku :)
Re: :: wandering by elementalidad	Bethy 165.154.46.148	12-Sep-08/9:31 AM
this is good but I like snowsounds better
Re: .: night owl (1) by elementalidad	elementalidad 190.154.63.211	12-Sep-08/9:52 AM
i think i might have too much going on here. Theres an analogy between the hillsides which -- if you;ve seen them -- seem to cover the andes like a blanket. Theres also the ecuadorians shivering, from the cold andean weather - although its on the equator, its friggin cold. Also the people shivering was intended at the time of writing (2006) to symbolize the turbulent times of tumultuous protests over govornmental elections and the TLC (Free Trade Agreement) that the USA had proposed for all of Latin America which generated lots of confusion, especially for the small-time farmers.
Re: Fan by Nepanthe	half.italian 98.151.18.37	13-Sep-08/10:38 PM
I don't understand... yet I like it.
Re: Whispers among me by celticskatermatt1	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 79.78.94.70	16-Sep-08/3:15 PM
How did you come up with the idea of putting a line break between "arm stills" and "Past aggressions"? Did you think: if I don't put a line break soon, the line will end up being longer than the other lines, and then my "poem" won't look like a poem at all. Hmm?
Re: Ally McBeal by Pie	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 79.78.94.70	16-Sep-08/3:17 PM
AIDS is not suitable subject matter for poetry: I don't know about everyone else, but I want you off this site.
Re: The Answer (dating over 40ish) by Bethy	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 79.78.94.70	16-Sep-08/3:24 PM
Your use of the word "snatch" lowered the tone rather shockingly... but I do sympathise. Unlike women, men get more attractive as they get older. They become grizzled, bearded warriors with large, masculine bellies which they use to store reserves of nutrients in case there's a war. In fact, the optimum age for a man is whatever age Sean Connery is now. Women reach their peak at 19.