Love it.

great haiku :)

Oil my bald cheeks.

my thoughts exactly...get out of my head...lol

this is good but I like snowsounds better

Hard to follow possibly because of the indentation. I like a lot of the phrases, but I can't follow because of punctuation and spacing.

Nice one dude... now will you give me the better Exit srategy???

-more nuts, this is wrong. hahahahahaha.

a little difficult to read, but it gave me a few chuckles

I really like this, hits home somewhere in the middle...

AIDS is not suitable subject matter for poetry: I don't know about everyone else, but I want you off this site.

It always amuses me when, in between thinking about shoes, women sometimes find time to write poetry. Does the W stand for White? If so, isn't that racist?

I'd like to see the first line gone. The title covers it. But the Main part, I'd like to see really odd things there, not the drugs and the sex etc. Not that true grunge doesn't have a place, I'm just not one for "shock" value. Write another one my way please, and I'll compare, and, maybe concede. Whaddaya got ta lose?

This is my first attempt at writing senryu. This series of 5 senryu tries to maintain a recurrent theme of sleep and darkness. I feel like some of the first attempts here to come lack the essence of true senryu, however, I'm keeping my head up :) PS: The others in the series will follow shortly as I don't wish to put them all on one submission as I've seen some people do with shorter senryu / haiku.

I disagree with Dovina on this one. I think it's the best of the four.

How did you come up with the idea of putting a line break between "arm stills" and "Past aggressions"? Did you think: if I don't put a line break soon, the line will end up being longer than the other lines, and then my "poem" won't look like a poem at all. Hmm?

i think i might have too much going on here. Theres an analogy between the hillsides which -- if you;ve seen them -- seem to cover the andes like a blanket. Theres also the ecuadorians shivering, from the cold andean weather - although its on the equator, its friggin cold. Also the people shivering was intended at the time of writing (2006) to symbolize the turbulent times of tumultuous protests over govornmental elections and the TLC (Free Trade Agreement) that the USA had proposed for all of Latin America which generated lots of confusion, especially for the small-time farmers.

I don't understand... yet I like it.

Your use of the word "snatch" lowered the tone rather shockingly... but I do sympathise. Unlike women, men get more attractive as they get older. They become grizzled, bearded warriors with large, masculine bellies which they use to store reserves of nutrients in case there's a war. In fact, the optimum age for a man is whatever age Sean Connery is now. Women reach their peak at 19.

its good to know things are taken care of in the event of the writers demise, tip n all...however, i feel a little dirty and almost sinister when i say i like this poem...i figure its my dark side comin' out ...bravo, good one