you could leave out - but. Makes it more open, seems

i suppose i could nip the but, however I think I'd have to either change the tense of "quietly hates" accordingly or insert a forced pause (-) after prays to make sense in english, no? what do you think? lay man prays- quietly hates the next day lay man prays quietly hating the next day

Oh what now does our future hold? When we look into the eyes of the old, our parents knew and now us, not then...will we find out...who, what and when? (something from an old poem I wrote) This is perfectly wonderful Dovina.

your use of similes and metaphors are very poignant!

bethy, your comment sparked me. thanks.

Most are not willing...reality in words...wonderful

I'd say destructive...if letting the force free...

This poem resonated for me.. I particularly enjoyed the tempo that you have conveyed with your spacing of the text as it conveys the highs and lows of life just as much as the words you have chosen do!

This is an instruction manual to Life.

can we use this at our wedding

the meeting seems random enough, yet the parameters are established. equal parts hunter and hunted

This is interesting...I just wrote a poem about a message in a bottle. This is the first I viewed your poem. Have you ever looked in the eyes of our elderly? It is amazing what you can see. Perhaps we all should pause...and say "Hello in there" (a quote from John Prine's song called, "Hello in There") Great poem... :) Bethy

very good...I have never really been a big fan of Senryu, however, you make it easy to like.

Celtic.. I really enjoyed your poem as it's resonance chimed a similar chord within me. "The Fire" kindling your toes... just a breath of life, heat, flame, desire...enough to keep you from jumping over the edge.

panic! well done

get busy then...can't wait to see more

emotional, awakening, real

oh the sweet sound of peace... :)

Rich with wisdom indeed! Nature only wants you to replenish its wonders. Too bad everyone doesn't see it this way. One of my favs for sure!

sacrifice comes one way or the other. taxation permits representation by either the pallbearers of old regimes or the vanguard of the new