excellent Jon

waaaay too much repetition.

I really like this one Dovina...

I like shades of drawn conclusions. Keep working on it.

A good love poem and I love "jobless Mensa Members". It kept my attention for a while but then drifted off. Maybe if you shortened it a bit...

A little more repetition than needed, I think. Nice job, otherwise.

Sometimes repetition can work...this is not one of those times. There's just too much of it here.

One of those nebulous prophetic utterances with an air of supernatural knowledge, but having no substance.

"love is hope's suicide" Starting as a diatribe against Christians, it seems to switch to a description of love, and a somber one. Love is many things, but I'll take a man who's loving, reliable, and tiresome over the flighty kind. That may be hope's suicide, but it sure feels good at night.

Too many cliches for me, I'm afraid... sorry.

I enjoyed reading your poem :-D it's intriguing. I think the third stanza could use a little work though.(perhaps clarification)?

I feel that comparing him to an angel, a soldier and an artist in such close proximity causes loss of focus. I'd pick one and stick with it. Nice job!

Try saying it without the restriction of rhyme. As another recent poem states...rhyme is wholly overrated.

Try adding some punctuation to make it a little easier to read. Also, proofread. "Sentenced me to", not too.

I just don't get it...maybe I'm thick.

mmm...not your best, dear.

i can see gulls becoming bored with corpses, but i don't see the devils here.

Heh. Where are you from, zodiac, anyway? Dovina: the poem was written from my viewpoint, inside a dark room; the streetlight is outside and what I can see is the fuzzy light sifting through the window shade. 'streaks of white' - well, they wouldn't be seen as streaks if i had my glasses on :-)

Hey, it starts off well and then tries to make the metaphoric turn, and bogs into some Tennessee swamp. Still, I see the process and believe it will work with a little more clarity.

Very good.