Re: Why I’m Homeless by Dovina	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Oct-05/8:18 PM
mmm...not your best, dear.
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 24.255.87.123	2-Oct-05/8:23 PM
A little more repetition than needed, I think. Nice job, otherwise.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Oct-05/8:24 PM
Sometimes repetition can work...this is not one of those times. There's just too much of it here.
Re: Through Your Eyes... by jlynnwall	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Oct-05/8:25 PM
waaaay too much repetition.
Re: False Reality by jlynnwall	wilco 66.61.101.130	2-Oct-05/8:26 PM
I like shades of drawn conclusions. Keep working on it.
Re: No Aegis by wilco	ay deee 24.255.87.123	2-Oct-05/8:54 PM
i can see gulls becoming bored with corpses, but i don't see the devils here.
Re: Without my Glasses by Niphredil	Niphredil 192.117.121.122	3-Oct-05/2:41 AM
Heh. Where are you from, zodiac, anyway? Dovina: the poem was written from my viewpoint, inside a dark room; the streetlight is outside and what I can see is the fuzzy light sifting through the window shade. 'streaks of white' - well, they wouldn't be seen as streaks if i had my glasses on :-)
Re: No Aegis by wilco	Dovina 12.104.106.3	3-Oct-05/4:40 AM
Hey, it starts off well and then tries to make the metaphoric turn, and bogs into some Tennessee swamp. Still, I see the process and believe it will work with a little more clarity.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.104.106.3	3-Oct-05/4:55 AM
One of those nebulous prophetic utterances with an air of supernatural knowledge, but having no substance.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.104.106.3	3-Oct-05/5:34 AM
"love is hope's suicide" Starting as a diatribe against Christians, it seems to switch to a description of love, and a somber one. Love is many things, but I'll take a man who's loving, reliable, and tiresome over the flighty kind. That may be hope's suicide, but it sure feels good at night.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.104.106.3	3-Oct-05/10:22 AM
Very good.
Re: Escape by Heather Dee	Niphredil 192.117.121.122	3-Oct-05/11:42 AM
Too many cliches for me, I'm afraid... sorry.
Re: No Aegis by wilco	Niphredil 192.117.121.122	3-Oct-05/11:45 AM
I enjoyed reading your poem :-D it's intriguing. I think the third stanza could use a little work though.(perhaps clarification)?
regarding some deleted poem...	Niphredil 192.117.121.122	3-Oct-05/11:49 AM
I feel that comparing him to an angel, a soldier and an artist in such close proximity causes loss of focus. I'd pick one and stick with it. Nice job!
Re: What do u think i am! by T. Jonathron Remp	Bethy 24.222.32.205	3-Oct-05/12:32 PM
excellent Jon
Re: A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina	Bethy 24.222.32.205	3-Oct-05/12:47 PM
I really like this one Dovina...
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 66.61.101.130	3-Oct-05/1:19 PM
A good love poem and I love "jobless Mensa Members". It kept my attention for a while but then drifted off. Maybe if you shortened it a bit...
Re: Escape by Heather Dee	wilco 66.61.101.130	3-Oct-05/1:25 PM
Try saying it without the restriction of rhyme. As another recent poem states...rhyme is wholly overrated.
Re: capital punishment by hendrimike	wilco 66.61.101.130	3-Oct-05/1:27 PM
Try adding some punctuation to make it a little easier to read. Also, proofread. "Sentenced me to", not too.
Re: sap's pay by ay deee	wilco 66.61.101.130	3-Oct-05/1:28 PM
I just don't get it...maybe I'm thick.