Re: Play ball he said by thepinkbunnyofdoom	Caducus 86.141.200.125	19-May-06/5:35 AM
looks like a copy and paste that went horribly wrong - a shame as some of its okay but t be honest it gave me cataracts :-&
Re: The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	Caducus 86.141.200.125	19-May-06/5:39 AM
Sorry this one made me dizzy and like my boss needs a makeover. Your problem here i think is the story overbears th epoetry within it. C'mon Dovina love gimmee a Dovina special.
Re: Goa by amanda_dcosta	Caducus 86.141.200.125	19-May-06/5:42 AM
ahhhh Goa the place where one attractive woman attracts a zillion indian men with fruit and cheap ornaments. Lovely people, lovely place and good to see a poem on it. Leave poemranker out though - it has no place in Goa :)
Re: Descartes' Immortal Truth by Edna Sweetlove	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-May-06/8:02 AM
I like the way you voted for yourslf but to give it authenticity you voted 8 rather than 10. However, for a proper spasm of reality why not give it a proper vote of -3-! I arc a rope of cum in your eye and lauch as you wince.
Re: The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-May-06/8:03 AM
like a germ laden hanky deposited NEXT to a bin.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	19-May-06/8:06 AM
Total bilge.
Re: Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	lmp 141.154.134.3	19-May-06/11:22 AM
i like this; my vote now is not set in stone. i think this has more potential... some thoughts: the purist in me would arrange so each time a number is mentioned it is the beginning of a new line. i would count the "nothing" as a number... i am not sure what the intent is, but there is potential for it to have a more powerful impact. not sure exactly how... maybe with more of the "four tears, sixteen smiles" sort of imagery that tells us of the emotion. "four tears" could all be from one eye otr two, no? maybe "thirty-two dry eyes" instead of sixteen smiles; i cannot imagine that many people smiling at an execution, even if they do want to see the guy dead. i like the concept of the title, but it may be a little to literal. maybe drop out "numbers" or try "sum of nothing", "nothing totalled" , etc. AH! "empty tally", that's my choice.
Re: Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	Dovina 70.38.78.229	19-May-06/4:42 PM
I like it upo to the last line, which preaches. Also, the title bothers me because it is not about numbers or addition or zero, but about sewing and reaping perhaps, or about not killing the bastard after his first murder, or about not killing in the name of justice - something like that.
Re: Seizures by Sunny	Dovina 70.38.78.229	19-May-06/5:13 PM
"Tulips like porcelain" is good. But seizures? How so? The last line refers to a non-weak person. How are old pictures apparitions? Otherwise, some good lines.
Re: Seizures by Sunny	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	20-May-06/3:07 AM
Sounds good. I have no idea what it means.
Re: Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	20-May-06/3:27 AM
These mathmatical and number poems just don't do it for me.
Re: Foray by richa	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	20-May-06/3:37 AM
How far can a man walk into a forest?
Re: The Wife and the Spider by Caducus	ALChemy 71.75.176.68	20-May-06/3:41 AM
I don't know why she swallowed the spider that wiggled and jiggled and giggled inside her.
Re: The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	Sunny 66.69.36.222	20-May-06/1:55 PM
I found this to be a very clean piece, although I am one of 'those' who doesn't really care for caps w/ each new line, but I can still look past this of course. I like circles. I like circular stories...so is life, isn't it?! My own personal notes: -L2S1: I think starting out the line with "For" is unnecessary & reads awkwardly -The play again & again of humility such as bringing up the van they were in repeatedly & such word usage as "...the best little farm..." is very nicely played on -This is a "growth poem" per say - I liked that -Didn't like how the "forest HEATED her home"...just didn't click w/ me -Don't feel SHE needs to be screamed out in all caps. I don't feel that way in any instance in poetry however, just me. -Good ending. Sharp & unpredictable, reading line by line ~Sunny
Re: Foray by richa	some deleted user 64.140.228.94	20-May-06/2:01 PM
"The bluebells will lead you like a mentor" is a great simile--as is the poem. nice work.
regarding some deleted poem...	Sunny 66.69.36.222	20-May-06/2:05 PM
I read this poem for what it was, very clear & simple. Sweet & short. But...I do expect love-inspired poetry to slightly move me, & this was a bit mundane for my tastes, please don't take this personally. Maybe you could establish a pattern with a repitition of first lines in each stanza as "I feel..." perhaps for example. I felt a bit of random scattered thought pouring onto paper, without precision & passion. Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm just trying to be of some help...if any at all. ~Sunny
Re: Seizures by Sunny	some deleted user 64.140.228.94	20-May-06/2:06 PM
My brother suffers seizures so I see where your coming from. Caducus is right, losing some of the ands will make this better.
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 64.140.228.94	20-May-06/2:16 PM
Is this true? Even if it's not it's a damn good poem. i love the last two lines.
Re: Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	some deleted user 64.140.228.94	20-May-06/2:29 PM
I like it. especially the last line, which I think says it all.
Re: Old River Sherbourne by Caducus	some deleted user 64.140.228.94	20-May-06/2:51 PM
Great imagery in this--as there is in most of your work.