Re: fuck you by gsosville	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.19.29	23-Jun-06/5:40 PM
How pathetic.
Re: fuck you by gsosville	Edna Sweetlove 85.210.19.29	23-Jun-06/5:41 PM
And illiterate too, a bonus.
Re: Always With Me by fallen_rose	Lifeboatman 170.65.128.6	24-Jun-06/4:22 AM
poor
Re: Chord before the crescendo by Caducus	ALChemy 71.75.188.128	24-Jun-06/11:40 AM
Alway's the fine craftsman Cad.
Re: All Hail! All Hail! America The Golden! by Edna Sweetlove	ALChemy 71.75.188.128	24-Jun-06/12:05 PM
Oh poor old mad English poet. You wish for the days of yore when the world spat at your name and called your queen a whore. But alas your torch has been passed to a younger more vibrant shore as your empire rots away like your teeth and the world now thinks you're a bore.
regarding some deleted poem...	ALChemy 71.75.188.128	25-Jun-06/8:05 AM
This is a satire Edna.
Re: A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	ALChemy 71.75.188.128	25-Jun-06/8:16 AM
Powerful stuff. The last two lines are a little hard to understand. Do you mean something like "or else I'll be one of those lost to history"?
Re: Southern Baptist Redneck Song by Edna Sweetlove	ALChemy 71.75.188.128	25-Jun-06/8:20 AM
Yep, satire.
Re: A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 202.164.137.227	25-Jun-06/9:19 AM
Thanks Al. As for the last lines... it merely means.... come and take me away lest I'm history.
Re: A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	Ranger 86.131.52.113	25-Jun-06/11:42 AM
This is super - I'd get rid of the lines 'I wonder why I was ever born/To feel humanity's wrath and scorn' though.
Re: Money Back by drnick	Ranger 86.131.52.113	25-Jun-06/11:45 AM
Great repeating lines, they make this catchy and cool. A bit more punctuation wouldn't go amiss though. How did the year go? The ranker's missed your presence recently, hope things are going well!
Re: Always With Me by fallen_rose	Ranger 86.131.52.113	25-Jun-06/11:48 AM
I don't have the time to give my usual full-length essay, but you would benefit from injecting a little of the 'show, don't tell' aspect into your writing.
Re: Bad night out at jumpin jaks by scitz	mrs smith 194.7.100.36	25-Jun-06/3:26 PM
fucking shit
Re: the perils of internet dating by conny lingers	mrs smith 194.7.100.36	25-Jun-06/3:30 PM
cunt
Re: The copper man and Labrador by Caducus	mrs smith 194.7.100.36	25-Jun-06/3:31 PM
cunt
Re: The Ballad of Fraser Allonby Q.C., Barrister-At-Law by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	mrs smith 194.7.100.36	25-Jun-06/3:32 PM
cunt
regarding some deleted poem...	amanda_dcosta 202.164.137.227	26-Jun-06/8:39 AM
It's a nice setting.... one that got me thinking. My kids often play with toy guns and I think from now on,watching my kids play, what's going to play on my mind is this..... somewhere, somebody will never become old due to probably my encouraging my kids to becoming so insensitive to violence and war. I think I need to do something about it, in my own way.
Re: A Little War Victim by amanda_dcosta	amanda_dcosta 202.164.137.227	26-Jun-06/8:46 AM
I read this out to my five year old and the first thing he says after I read it is... "what is her name?" Would anyone like to do the honors and name this unfortunate nameless child of my poem?
Re: Southern Baptist Redneck Song by Edna Sweetlove	lmp 141.154.134.3	26-Jun-06/9:13 AM
dunno, paw. kinna make thunk this edna is pickin on all the good folk livin' south of the mason dixon line. does edna ever write anything BUT satire?
Re: Lovers east of the Coombe by Caducus	Dovina 70.38.78.229	27-Jun-06/4:45 PM
Could call it a limerick, except that most of those are light, insulting, or funny. This isn't. The blooming bough from Autumn's tomb escapes me; and how is a bough blown away except in strong wind. Maybe the crabtree of verse 3 could work in here. But is that a Crab tree? You bring the Autumn back, why not the tree? The last two lines are great.